Just So I’m Not Alone

| Right | April 3, 2014

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April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!

Not Always Right | Right | April 3, 2014
Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
Enter Not Always Right’s April Themed Story Giveaway:
Creepy Customers!

Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

  1. Submit a funny or interesting story about creepy customers. Whether they make inappropriate comments, strange flirtations, or are just down-right disturbing, we want to hear about it.
  2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
  3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning March’s Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about Man vs. Machine. The winning submission: Technology That Makes You Cry (929 thumbs up).

PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, May 7!

Selling Out Is Selling Out

| OH, USA | Right | April 3, 2014

(I work in an electronics store that has been having a huge sale on TVs. One customer calls asking about a model that we just sold out of.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We’re sold out of that model right now.”

Caller: “Oh, that’s too bad.”

(At this point I hear a noise in the background. It sounded like someone shouting.)

Background: “What’s wrong?”

Caller: “They don’t have any.”

Background: “Why not? It’s in the ad!”

Caller: “They sold out.”

Background: “What?! Why did they do that?”

Caller: “Why did the- What?”

(He makes several noises, as if he’s struggling to understand her question. He apparently fails.)

Background: “Why did they sell them all?”

Caller: “Seriously? That’s what they DO! They sell things!”

Background: “ALL of them?”

Caller: “YES!”

Background: “Well, that doesn’t make any sense!”

(This goes on for another 10 MINUTES, and I am unable to will myself to hang up. Three coworkers and two managers have also picked up the line and listen as well, before the call abruptly drops, much to everyone’s disappointment.)

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The Art Of Listening Is Out Of Print

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Right | April 3, 2014

(A customer approaches me, holding a USB drive.)

Me: “Hello! Got some printing to do today, I see. From your USB drive, there?”

Customer: “Hello! I need to print something from my USB drive!”

(I assume she didn’t hear all of what I said, hence repeating the bit about the USB drive, and continue.)

Me: “Alrighty, no worries! We’ll go over to the PC here and print. Will it be black and white, or color printing?”

Customer: “Black and white, and then I need to fax the pages.”

Me: “Sure thing! I’ll print them for you, and then you can use our self-serve fax machine by the wall there.”

Customer: “Okay!”

(The customer accepts her copies, and then continues to stand and look at me.)

Me: “So, you’re all set! Here’s your USB drive back.”

Customer: “I need to fax these.”

(By now I’m beginning to notice a trend. Apparently the customer doesn’t pay any attention to what I’m saying even when she’s asked a question.)

Me: “The fax machine is self-serve, ma’am, and it’s by that wall there. We also keep pens by the fax machine if you need to use one.”

Customer: “Oh, okay! But… have you got a pen I can borrow?”

(I repeat myself. Again.)

Me: “Ma’am, the pens are next to the fax machine which is by that wall. Just walk right down this counter and you’ll see the machine.”

(The customer sends her fax, then comes back to pay.)

Customer: “Can I check out here?”

Me: “Sure! Your total today is [price].”

(Just to be safe, I rephrase the total and repeat it to her, given how much attention she paid to everything I said before.)

Me: “That’s [total].”

(The customer puts her purse on the counter and rummages around a minute.)

Customer: “Wait, how much did you say it was?”

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Shouting Out Hot Gas

| North Rhine Westphalia, Germany | Right | April 2, 2014

(Our call centre deals with emergency calls from people who smell gas in their homes.)

Me: “This is [Company]. My name is [My Name]. What seems to be the problem?”

Caller: “Uhm, yes. I just wanted you to know that it smells strange in my basement. I think it may be gas.”

Me: “Okay. Please give me your address, open all windows, and avoid plugging or unplugging any electronic devices. Our on-call service will be with you within 30 minutes.”

Caller: *gives address* “… Wait, did you said that you will be here in half an hour?”

Me: “Yes, as requested by law.”

Caller: “Wait, no! I can’t stay at home. You need to come later! Can’t I make an appointment?”

Me: “This is an emergency line. Once you reported the incident, we have to act. You can’t leave your house now.”

Caller: “But my son needs to see his music teacher! He’s going to be the next Mozart. You’ll see!”

Me: “Still, you are not allowed to leave. In case you won’t be there, we have to cut your gas line due to secur—”

Caller: “NO! You won’t come NOW! This is your customer’s service?! I will tell all my friends and no one will ever call you again!”

(After that she hung up. Fortunately, the mechanic met her at the door and could check her installation. It was leaky. She still refused to stay, so we shut her down. She wasn’t pleased.)

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