No Vocation For Location, Part 3

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Geography

(I work in a mall on the Las Vegas Strip, so there’s always a lot of people from other countries in the store.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you know where [store] is?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I do not know where that store is. However, if you go outside our store, there’s a directory right there.”

Customer: “No! You do not understand. Where is this store?!”

Me: “I can’t go out there with you to look, but I promise if it’s in the mall, it’s on that map.”

Customer: “I already looked at the map! It just gave me a number! What is this number supposed to tell me!?”

Me: “Well, the number corresponds—”

Customer: “I’M FROM THE UK! I DON’T KNOW HOW TO READ YOUR MAPS!”

Me: “I can maybe ask—”

Customer: *storms out of the store in a rage before I can finish*

Another Customer: “I’m from the UK, and I was able to read your map just fine!”

Related:
No Vocation For Location, Part 2
No Vocation For Location

Equality Is Worth Fighting For

| USA | Bigotry

(One of my supervisors is an attractive, rather petite girl and fragile-looking, but at heart she’s a big tomboy and much stronger than she looks. She comes into to work one day with her hand bandaged and splinted, and it’s pretty obvious she did it herself. I’m helping a customer in her 40s with art supplies, which is not my area of expertise.)

Customer: *pointing at my supervisor* “What happened to her hand?”

Me: “I don’t know, ma’am. She just started her shift so I haven’t had time to ask her. Is there anything else I can help you find?”

Customer: “Do you think her boyfriend did that to her?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: *to my supervisor* “Oh, honey! What happened to your hand?!”

Supervisor: “Oh, it’s nothing serious. I’ll be fine.”

Customer: “Did your boyfriend do that?”

Supervisor: “No.”

Customer: “How’d it happen?”

Supervisor: *awkward smile* “Umm…well, the short version is a guy hit me in a bar, and I hit him back…but I didn’t brace my wrist correctly.”

Me: “Oh, man, OW! You got a boxer’s fracture?”

Supervisor: “Yeah. I’ll be fine, though. The worst part was having to play piano with this splinted this morning.”

Customer: *horrified* “You didn’t let your boyfriend defend you?!”

Supervisor: *frowning* “I’m not seeing anyone, and even if I was, I was closer.”

Customer: “But you’re a girl!”

Supervisor: *trying to change the subject* “Ma’am, have you found all the art supplies you need today?”

Customer: “REAL GIRLS LET MEN DEFEND THEM!”

Some Sprinkles Come With Sergeants

| CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Military, Top

(At the restaurant where I work, my boyfriend is visiting me. He’s just gotten home from the army and is still in uniform. A customer approaches me.)

Customer: *points at sprinkles* “Excuse me, there is ice in my ice cream!”

Me: “Sir, those are sprinkles. You asked for rainbow sprinkles.”

Customer: “They are too cold to be sprinkles, so they must be ice!”

Me: “The ice cream is what’s making them cold, sir.”

Customer: “You’re a liar, you b****! Get me your f***ing manager!”

(Unwilling to take the customer’s abusive behavior, my boyfriend speaks up.)

My Boyfriend: “Those are f***ing sprinkles, you a**hole! If you don’t like it, then just go home and make your own ice cream!”

Customer: *quickly exits the restaurant*

Manager: *to my boyfriend* “You should stop by more often! I’ll even pay you to handle these customers!”

Rooted In Anger

| Illinois, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

(Note: My hair is a darker shade of auburn and I am often asked it’s natural, which it is. A seemingly normal woman comes up to the register.)

Me: “Is this all today, ma’am?”

Customer: “Oh, my! Is that your actual hair color?”

Me: “Oh, yes, it is.”

Customer: “It’s not fair! IT MAKES ME WANT TO RIP YOUR EYEBALLS OUT!”

All You Can Elite

| New Zealand | Food & Drink

(I am a server at a buffet-style restaurant. Since the customers get the food themselves, I am there to seat them, clear their plates and assist with any problems.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [restaurant’s name]. If you will please follow me, I’ll show you to your table.”

(I take the family of four to their table and point out where to get plates and cutlery from as well as show them the general layout of the buffet.)

Customer: “So, I’ll have the roast, some potato salad, and a coke.”

Me: “Uh, sir, this is a buffet restaurant.”

Customer: “Yeah, so?”

Me: “There is no menu. You go to the buffet choose the food yourself. That’s the point of a buffet.”

Customer: “Oh, I know. I just can’t be bothered waiting in that horrendous line!”

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