The Yeast Of Your Worries

| MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(I work at a pet store/grooming salon establishment. One of the grooming dogs comes in with a suspected yeast infection. We inform the customer of the possibility, and they say they will take care of it. A week later, I’m opening the store and the customer comes back in.)

Customer: “I demand to speak to the groomer!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but she’s not here right now. She doesn’t have any groom appointments for today. Was there anything I could help you with?”

Customer: “Yeah, you can explain to me why the h*** your groomer said my dog had a yeast infection, when nothing I’ve been doing to treat it has been working! I demand reimbursement for the cost of the treatment!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that ma’am, but I’m afraid we can’t reimburse you for veterinary treatment you’ve sought because of a medical condition that existed in your dog prior to the grooming appointment.”

Customer: “Veterinary treatment? I didn’t go to the vet!”

Me: “You haven’t? What treatment have you been using that needs reimbursing?”

Customer: “I’ve bought $40 worth of bread in the past week!”

Me: “…bread?”

Customer: “Yeah! The groomer said it was a f****** yeast infection, so I’ve been giving him lots of bread to fix it!”

Me: “I’m… not sure I follow ma’am.”

Customer: “What, am I not giving him enough bread? Does he need bread with more yeast in it?”

Me: “Oh… OH! Uhm, having a yeast infection doesn’t mean he needs to eat things with yeast IN it.”

Customer: “So… he doesn’t need bread?”

Me: “…no.”

(I instruct the customer to add pro-biotic yogurt to her dog’s food and take him to the vet as soon as she could. The customer leaves rather embarrassed. We get a call later on that her dog recovers soon after that, and now she’s a regular customer for yogurt dental bones!)

Enquiring Children Enquiring About Children

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(I am carrying on quite a conversation with a four-year-old girl while I check her mother out at my store. I am 19.)

Mom: “Stop asking so many questions; you’re bothering the lady!”

Me: “No! It’s okay; I’m happy to answer. I think it’s great that she’s so curious!”

Mom: “You must have kids.”

Me: “Oh no, not yet.”

Little Girl: “You don’t have kids?!” *whimpers, sounding heartbroken* “Why? You don’t like kids?”

Me: “No, no, I love kids! I’m just really young, and I’m not ready to have kids yet.”

Little Girl: “Well… when will you be ready?”

Me: “When I have more time and money. I want to make sure I can take good care of my kids, and right now I can barely take good care of myself!”

Little Girl: “Well, that makes sense. Okay then!”

(The little girl then gives me a nod approval.)

A Triple Rainbow Of Pens

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I work part time at the local convenience store that sells school supplies, snacks, basic clothing, and other things. A customer walks in smelling heavily of marijuana.)

Customer: “Can I get some pens?”

Me: “Umm, sure.”

(I show the customer over to the area where we keep pens and pencils.)

Customer: “Whoa… YOU GUYS HAVE PINK PENS?!”

Me: “Yes, why?”

Customer: “I didn’t know they made pink pens!”

Me: “Umm… they make pens in every color, sir.”

Customer: “Even… ORANGE?!”

Me: “Yes, even orange.”

Customer: “Even YELLOW?! Oh wait, that’d just be a highlighter.”

Me: *points at yellow gel pens* “No, they make yellow pens too.”

Customer: “WOW!”

(The customer buys his pens and leaves. Good to know I may have changed someone’s life.)