Please Turn Down The Gravity

| Washington, DC, USA | Right | December 6, 2013

(I work as a courtesy clerk and bag boy at a grocery store. My state has recently started charging people for store-provided paper or plastic bags. Whenever possible, I try to fit all the customers’ items into the reusable bags that they give me. In this case, the customer only hands me one reusable canvas bag. I have just finished packing it as full as it will go, when the customer’s wife joins us at the register.)

Customer’s Wife: “Oh, that bag is way too heavy. Neither of us will be able to lift it.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that. Would you like me to get another bag and re-pack these items for you?”

Customer’s Wife: “Yes, please.”

(The customer’s wife hands me another reusable canvas bag. I finish bagging their groceries, distributing the items as evenly as I can between the two bags. I then put the bags into their shopping cart, to make room on the counter so that I can start bagging the next person’s items.)

Customer’s Wife: “Oh, no. These bags are still too heavy. We still won’t be able to lift them.”

Me: “I’m so sorry about that. I can get you some of the paper bags that the store provides, and help you re-bag your items again.”

Customer’s Wife: “No, no. I don’t think we need any more bags. We just need these bags to be less heavy!”

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Piercing Judgments, Part 3

| WA, USA | Right | December 6, 2013

(I’m a waitress at a popular tavern. We’re lucky, in that the owners and managers of the bar fully back up the staff when customers are rude to us. I have a septum piercing and two small scars on my lip from old piercings. An older couple and a few of their friends have just sat down.)

Me: “Hey, guys! Can I get you anything to drink?”

Customer: “Have you had those piercings in very long?”

Me: “Oh, the nose ring I’ve had since I was in high school. I took out my lip piercings a few years ago, though.”

Customer: “Ugh. You’d be so much prettier without all that garbage in your face.”

(I reply with my ‘aggressive smile’ on.)

Me: “Wow. Thank you for your completely rude and unsolicited opinion. Since my face offends you so much, feel free to order all of your beers and food up at the bar from now on.”

(As I’m walking away to help my other tables, the customer’s wife grabs my arm quite roughly and yanks me back.)

Customer’s Wife: “Ignore him. He just likes talking s***. Can we get some beers now?”

Me: “I really appreciate your incredibly sincere apology. Until you can get your husband to stop ‘talking s***’ to complete strangers, especially those who are waiting on you, you might consider keeping him on a leash.”

(One of my regulars at the next table overhears the entire exchange. He leaves me a $20 tip and a note with ‘I like your garbage face!’ written on it.)

Related:
Piercing Judgments, Part 2
Piercing Judgments

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Baby On Board (The Bus)

| Halifax, NS, Canada | Right | December 6, 2013

(I am 27 weeks pregnant and starting to have contractions. I am on the bus on my way to the hospital. The driver is aware of this. I pull the buzzer to get off the bus and start walking to the door.)

Driver: *to me* “You sit back down!” *to the rest of the bus* “Is anyone going to need any of the next four stops? Because if so, I suggest you get off now, as we are detouring!”

(The driver then takes us directly to the hospital. He stops the bus, gets out of his seat, walks me down the steps, and into the hospital! The next day I am still in the hospital. I call up the transit office.)

Me: “Hi, yes. I was on bus [number] yesterday evening and the driver detoured from his route for me. I just wanted to make sure he is not in trouble. Because of him, they were able to save the life of my unborn son!”

Transit Employee: “No worries, miss. We only got one complaint from a passenger. The driver called us as soon as he got back with everyone on the bus. He has been given a commendation for his actions yesterday. Thank you for calling, and take care!”

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Allergic To Stupid People

| Right | December 6, 2013

allergic-to-stupid-people

Buy It On Amazon

| Right | December 6, 2013

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