Disin-jean-ous Or Just Un-capris-hending

| Sydney, Australia | Uncategorized

Customer: “Can you tell me if this pair of pants is discounted?”

(I scan the pants.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but these are full price.”

Customer: “But that sign says, ‘40% Off Jackets and Vests’!” *looks at me expectantly*

Me: “Yes, I can see that.”

Customer: “Then these pants must be 40% off!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s 40% off jackets and vests.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “Pants aren’t jackets nor vests.”

Customer: “Really?!” *walks away, perplexed*

Alls Well That Bookends Well

| Fort Worth, TX, USA | Awesome Customers, Criminal & Illegal, Money, Top

(A sharply-dressed man comes to the counter with a woman of his age and a 5-year-old kid walking near them.)

Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

Man: “Yes, can you tell the price of those books, please?”

(He hands me a list, and I use it to calculate the total price of the books in question.)

Me: “Okay, the total comes to $242.14.”

Man: “Alright. Do you take debit cards?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Man: “Ten years ago, when I was a teen, we stole those books in your shop with my wife here as a student prank. Now that we both have a good job, we want to show my kid that you must fix your errors in life.”

(I stayed speechless for a good minute before taking his payment. If there’s a “Customer of the Month” award, this family takes the cake!)

A Pack Of The Clones

| UK | Bizarre, Top

(Instead of having a definite job role I am just expected to help out wherever the restaurant is short. On this day, I have been cleaning.)

Customer: “Excuse me, could you tell me where your toilets are?”

Me: “Just through there, sir. Just give me a moment to get the cleaning stuff out of there.”

(I clear the toilet and leave. On my way downstairs, I am asked to open the bar up for the customers. I change and do so.)

Same Customer: “Oh, weren’t you just upstairs?”

Me: “Yes, sir. Can I get you anything?”

Same Customer: *nervous look* “Uh, I’ll just have a coffee. I’m sitting over there…”

(After serving, I change again and start waiting tables.)

Me: “Hello again. Can I take your order?”

Same Customer: *upset* No…no…I think I’ll have to leave…”

Me: “Are you okay, sir?”

Same Customer: “I can’t eat in a place that employs CLONES! CLONES! CLONES EVERYWHERE!” *leaves*

Dingbats In The Drive-Thru

, | Derby, UK | Food & Drink, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I work in the drive-thru area of a well known fast food store. I’m taking an order out to a customer who, instead of parking in the designated bays, has parked in the main car park. The car he is parked next to just happens to be mine.)

Me: “One burger meal?”

(The customer throws open his door with great speed, slamming it into my car and leaving a noticeable dent. In shock, I drop his paper bag.)

Customer: “What on EARTH do you think you’re doing?!”

Me: “You just hit my car!”

Customer: “Oh, I didn’t realise it was yours.”

(At this point I’m too shocked to do anything other than stand there and try not to cry.)

Customer: “So, are you going to compensate me?”

Me: “What for?”

Customer: “You just dropped my food on the floor. I demand a full refund and maybe some extras.”

Me: “Sir, you just dented my car with extreme force. I don’t particularly feel inclined to do anything other than replace the meal I dropped, to be completely honest.”

Customer: “That is RIDICULOUS! You owe me £5 for that meal!”

Me: “With all due respect sir, if I may please have your insurance details, we’ll see just how much you owe me!”

Too Hot To Give A Hoot

| Cincinnati, OH, USA | Rude & Risque

(I work at an amusement park where one of my jobs is to hand out 3D glasses and entertain guests before the show. A guest and his wife come up the queue on a particularly hot day.)

Me: *handing them glasses* “Here you are! Enjoy the show.”

Guest: “This is a 3D movie?”

Me: “Yep.”

Guest: “And it’s inside?’

Me: “Yeah, and it’s air conditioned, so it’s definitely worth it.”

Guest: “What’s it about?”

Me: “It’s a ten minute movie about dinosaurs.”

Guest Wife: “I don’t care if y’all got a hooters show in there. If it’s air conditioned, we’re going!”

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