Inex-spews-able Behavior

| TX, USA | Health & Body

(A woman comes in and appears clean and normal. She hands my coworker a plastic bag.)

Customer: “Could you be a dear and throw this away? I hate having trash in my car.”

Coworker: “Sure…”

(As my coworker takes the bag, which isn’t sealed, stuff leaks all over her desk. She leans down to examine it, and it is vomit.)

Customer: “That is disgusting! You spilled my vomit all over your desk. I should have your boss fire you for making me feel sick all over again!” *storms off*

Her Argument Is Dispiriting

| Chicago Suburbs, IL, USA | Bizarre

(I am an assistant manager, and I am handing over a particularly difficult customer to my manager. At our store, all refunds over a certain amount must be returned in the manner they were paid for.)

Me: “This customer here would like a refund for these items, but she does not have her card with her. I explained that we have to refund the items to her card, but she keeps asking for store credit.”

Manager: *to the customer* “She’s right, ma’am. All refunds must be returned in the form we received the payment. Do you have your card with you?”

Customer: “I think it is rude that she is assuming that I am asking you to refund my items. She did not even let me ask you the question I wanted to ask!”

Manager: “I’m sorry. What is your question?”

Customer: “Can I exchange, not refund, these items for a store credit?”

Manager: “That is still considered a refund, so no. I’m sorry we cannot help you unless you have your card.”

Customer: “Well, I can’t take these groceries back now! They’re not the same as when I walked in!”

Manager: “…Not the same?”

Customer: “They are spiritually damaged, and I cannot eat them. That girl stole their spirit!”

Peaking At High School Isn’t F-U-N-N-Y

| USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Hall of Fame, Top

(I’m having a particularly bad day. Customer #1 is a male in his 40’s while Customer #2 is a female in her 20’s.)

Customer #1: *waving a book in my face* “I want my godd*** money back!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Do you have your receipt, sir?”

Customer #1: “No. But you’re giving me my money back, you stupid wh***! You have no right to defy me!”

Me: *taken aback* “I’m sorry, but the best I can do without a receipt is store credit.”

Customer #1:” No, the best you will do is money! M-U-N-N-Y. Get it? I got this book because I never finished reading it in high school, and it sucks!”

(At this point, the Customer #2, the customer in line behind him, speaks up. She’s over a foot shorter than the male customer.)

Customer #2: “Congratulations, numb nuts. At 40, you finally made it through a high school level book, and you still can’t spell ‘money’.”

Customer #1: *wheeling around* “How dare you?! Do you know who I am?”

Customer #2: *dryly* “Someone who never figured out how to work a breath mint?”

Customer #1: *leering down at her* “Who do you think you are?”

Customer #2: *sounding bored* “I am so displeased to meet you.”

Customer #1: *spluttering* “How da—the nerve, I mean—really!”

(He grabs his book and storms off.)

Me: *laughing* “Wow. That was hilarious.”

Customer #2: *joking* “He can’t words good. I bet that happens a lot, yea?”

Me: “More than anybody would like. What can I help you with?”

Customer #2: “I have an exchange. Got the wrong edition, you know. But, I do have my receipt.”

(Customer #2 ended up getting hired at our store about a month later!)

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May The Customers Be Ever In Your Favor

, | Auckland, NZ | Uncategorized

(I work at a very busy fast food chain, so we often take our customers’ names and call them to the counter when their food is ready.)

Me:” Your name please, ma’am?”

Customer: “Primrose Everdeen.”

Me: “Thank you, could you please wait by the window? We’ll call you up when your meal is ready.”

(At this point, I’m thinking that this customer is a bit strange, but I let it pass. A few minutes pass.)

Coworker: “Primrose Everdeen.”

Customer: “I volunteer!”

Related:
May The Employees Be Ever In Your Favor

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