In Line And Out Of Line, Part 2

| USA | Right | December 9, 2013

(I’m standing in line at a Black Friday sale, waiting to check out my purchases. We’ve been standing about 45 minutes as the lines are very, VERY long. There is a man all by himself, with no cart and no purchases, standing two customers in front of me. All of a sudden his wife pulls two carts over, with their daughter pushing another one. All three carts are filled completely. They push through the line and get in with him. One of the customers in the line speaks up.)

Customer #1: “Hey! You can’t just cut in line like that. We’ve been waiting an hour. Get to the back!”

Cutting Customer: “F*** you! It’s not my fault you don’t know how to shop. Mind your own f****** business!”

Me: “Excuse me. Would you mind watching your language? I don’t want my son to hear that.”

Cutting Customer: “You can kiss my a**, b****! That little p**** is going to learn it one way or the other. He’s an ugly little SOB with that hair cut, anyway!”

My Son: “I’m growing my hair to donate to kids with cancer, like my best friend!”

(The cutting customer’s daughter decides to speak up.)

Cutting Customer’s Daughter: “Your little f** friend should just die. Why do they give them treatments for that s*** anyway? I hope he dies, you little a**-wipe.”

(My four-year-old son starts crying, asking me if his friend is going to die. I try to calm him down. Meanwhile, my friend gets the manager of the store.)

Manager: “Ma’am, this woman just told me what you said to her son and that you cut in line. I’m going to ask you once to please move to the back of the line; otherwise, you’ll need to leave the store.”

Cutting Customer: “Now, you look here! You can’t make us move. We’re buying more than $1000 worth of stuff here! And that b**** and her snot nosed kid got what they deserved.”

(The manager gets on his walkie-talkie and has security escort them out. Upon the managers and several customers suggestions, we file verbal harassment charges on the customers who cut in. The manager made a donation for $500 to the charity that my son’s friend had out in my son’s name. We cut his hair three months later, donating 18 inches, which they made into a wig. His friend made a full recovery, by the way. They both donate their hair about every five years.)

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In Line And Out Of Line

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5 Festive Stories of Unseasonable Customers!

, | Not Always Right | Right | December 8, 2013

Weekly Roundup: 5 Festive Stories of Unseasonable Customers! In this week’s roundup, we celebrate the start of the holiday season with five Christmas and Holiday-themed bad customer stories!

  1. The Karate Kid: Christmas Special (3,515 thumbs up)
  2. Waxing Lyrical About Christmas Kindness (2,743 thumbs up)
  3. Santa Vs Jason (1,266 thumbs up)
  4. Little White Lies On Little White Christmases (3,715 thumbs up)
  5. Hard-To-Please-Her Scrooge (1,736 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

5 Festive Stories of Unseasonable Customers!

Not Always Right | Right | December 8, 2013

Weekly Roundup: 5 Festive Stories of Unseasonable Customers! In this week’s roundup, we celebrate the start of the holiday season with five Christmas and Holiday-themed bad customer stories!

  1. The Karate Kid: Christmas Special (3,515 thumbs up)
  2. Waxing Lyrical About Christmas Kindness (2,743 thumbs up)
  3. Santa Vs Jason (1,266 thumbs up)
  4. Little White Lies On Little White Christmases (3,715 thumbs up)
  5. Hard-To-Please-Her Scrooge (1,736 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

There’s A Funny Upside (Down) To This

| Santa Barbara, CA, USA | Right | December 8, 2013

(I work for a computer retailer. A customer brings in a system he bought about an hour before.)

Customer: “Yeah. I want to return this computer. The CD-drive isn’t working.”

Me: “Not working? How so, sir?”

Customer: “Discs don’t fit inside it.”

(I hook up the machine to a monitor setup we have, open the disc tray, and it reads the CD I put in just fine.)

Customer: “Wait, the computer looks different now!”

Me: “Different? Sir, this is an Apple. They look pretty much the same all the time.”

Customer: “No. The symbol on the side there! It’s upside down.”

Me: “It’s an Apple, a leaf and an apple with a bite out of it.”

Customer: *embarrassed* “I… put it on the floor upside down, didn’t I?”

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Tree-ting The Request With Respect

| OR, USA | Right | December 8, 2013

(Two customers come in for lunch and want to eat outside on the deck. I take their order, bring it to them, and periodically check on them to make sure everything is going well. I come back again at the end of their meal.)

Me: “So, how was everything? Would you like dessert, or would this be all for you ladies today?”

Customer #1: “Everything was great, thank you.”

Customer #2: “It was great, and I don’t want to sound rude, but I’m going to criticize.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer #2: “You’re on the river. You should be a fine dining establishment. You shouldn’t have the trees dropping pine cones and other stuff on the deck. And you should get rid of the spider webs.”

(Customer #1 is looking at Customer #2 indicating that she would like her to shut up.)

Me: “We clean the deck off a few times a week, but the wind has been picking up lately, and stuff keeps falling from the trees. Would you like me to ask the spiders if they would kindly stop building their webs on the deck every night also?”

Customer #2: “If you would do that, that would be great!”

Customer #1: “And I suppose you want her to ask the trees to stop dropping things on the deck too?”

Customer #2: “Yes! Please do it!”

(Fortunatel, Customer #1 apologized to me as soon as they were walking out the door.)

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