Just Got Bumped Despite The Bump

| Wichita, KS, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I am 9-months pregnant and just opening the door to the restroom as a patron taps me on the shoulder.)

Patron: “Excuse me. Is this the ladies room?”

Me: “Sorry. This is a single use stall, but we have restroom facilities in the main lobby.”

Patron: “Great. That’s not too far for you to walk.”

(The patron steps around me into the bathroom and slams the door in my face.)

Getting All Hancocked Over A Benjamin, Part 2

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Money

(I am a manager working the concession stand at a theater attached to a hotel/casino.)

Cashier: *over radio* “Manager to register two.”

(I head over. The cashier has a customer at her station who looks angry.)

Me: “What can I do for you?”

Customer: “Yeah, this b**** stole my money! I paid with a hundred and she only gave me change for a fifty! I want my f****** money back!”

Me: “All right. Did you see what she did with the bill?”

Customer: “Yeah! She put it below the counter!”

(We are only allowed to keep bills $10 and smaller in the till itself. All larger bills go into a lockbox right below the cash register. I walk behind the desk and point to the lockbox.)

Me: “She put it in here?”

Customer: “Yeah! Now give me the rest of my money!”

(I unlock the lockbox and remove it from its position, placing it on the counter in front of the customer. I then open it to reveal three $20 bills, and one $50 bill, which is the last bill deposited.)

Me: “Well, sir, it looks like the last bill deposited was a fifty. Is it possible you simply forgot which bill you paid with?”

(At this point, I know he’s lying. The cashier is one of my best employees, and the evidence is stacked against him.)

Customer: “NO! I PAID WITH A F****** HUNDRED! I WANT MY F****** MONEY!”

Me: “All right, sir. If you’re that adamant, I’ll call the casino’s security.”

Customer: “Good!”

Me: “I just don’t like calling them. They’re so harsh about fraud. I mean, they drag people into the back room just for TRYING…”

(The color drains out of the customer’s face.)

Customer: “That… That’s a myth…”

Me: “I wish it were, sir. I wish it were. Let’s call them.”

(I pull my radio up, but he stops me.)

Customer: “You know what; it’s not worth the hassle.” *to the cashier* “Enjoy the tip, b****.”

(The customer stormed off as fast as he could towards his theater.)

Related:
Getting All Hancocked Over A Benjamin

Should Stop Giving Herself A Good Dressing Down

| San Diego, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Spouses & Partners

(Being a big military town, it is fairly common to have women come into our bridal store to shop for military events like the yearly ball. A customer comes in with her husband.)

Customer: “I just had a baby and my body hasn’t quite bounced back yet.”

Husband: *rolls eyes* “Hun, you look great. Really. Please stop saying that.”

Customer: *ignoring husband* “But it is the annual ball, so I need to look nice. I was thinking of something in black, since black is slimming, but I’m not sure of my size at this point because of the baby.”

Me: “I would be happy to measure you but you look to be about a size 10. What did you have in mind for style?”

Customer: “Probably something very simple.”

(The customer walks through the non-bridal section with me to look over the styles and proceeds to pick every dress with NO shape she finds.)

Me: “Are you sure you don’t want to try on something with a little more shape to it? You have a better figure than you let on.”

Husband: “Yes. PLEASE!”

Customer: “No. These are fine. I mean, I really need to work out and flatten this pooch down.” *grabs stomach*

(The customer has literally grimaced at everything she has tried on, not liking anything. Her husband has tried desperately to explain how beautiful she is, while fidgeting in an armchair next to the fitting area.)

Me: *sigh* “Okay. Let me see what else we have.”

Customer: “Thanks. I know there’s only so much you can do.”

Me: *coming up with a plan* “Oh! We just got this dress in a couple days ago and I haven’t gotten to see it on anyone. Would you mind so much just trying it on and humoring me?”

(The dress is a mermaid cut halter dress, VERY Marilyn Monroe but floor length. Perfect for a woman with real curves.)

Customer: “Ooh, um, sure.”

(The customer smiles awkwardly, clearly not wanting to be rude and say ‘no.’ As she goes into the fitting room I look at her husband, wink, and smile. The customer walks out of the fitting room looking drop-dead 50s-goddess gorgeous.)

Customer: “I don’t kn—”

Husband: *knocks over chair jumping up* “THIS ONE! WE’LL TAKE THIS ONE!” *under his breath* “…and after the ball we can make a sibling for the baby.”