Customers Give You Crabs

, | Rehoboth Beach, DE, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(I am working drive-thru. The customer I get sounds drunk, but I don’t think too much of it until he gets to the window. The customer is in the rear seat of the car; the driver is sober.)

Me: “Good evening. Your total is [total].”

Customer: “Okay… so that’s… uh…”

(The customer stares at the money in his wallet for a moment, before handing me a wad of bills.)

Me: “Alright, here’s your change and your recei—”

(I turn to hand the customer his change, to see that he now has a large brown paper bag on his lap. He looks at me, then reaches in the bag and pulls out a crab covered in Old Bay seasoning.)

Customer: “D’you want a crab?”

Me: “Er… no, thanks.”

Customer: “You sure? They’re really good!”

(The customer tries to hand me the crab anyway.)

Me: “I’m sorry. We’re not allowed to take tips.”

Customer: “Awww… that sucks. Well, you have a nice night.”

Me: “Here’s your change. You have a good night, too!”

(Later, my coworkers ask what took so long. They couldn’t believe he’d offered me crabs! Probably because we all were wondering what he was doing getting fast food when he had something better!)

Banking Is A Whole Different Animal

| MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Pets & Animals

(My coworker takes a phone call.)

Coworker: “This is [Veterinarian]. Can I help you?”

Caller: “This is [Name]. My account number is [number]. I got an insufficient funds notice and I know I have enough in that account. You need to fix this!”

Coworker: “Sir, this is not a bank.”

Caller: “YES, IT IS! I just gave you my account number!”

A Customer With Felineous Intent

| GA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

(I am a waitress at an upscale seafood and steak restaurant. There is a decorative two-headed zebra cat table at the front of the restaurant. A customer walks in and screams as soon as they see the table.)

Customer: “Oh my God!”

(The customer grabs one of my coworkers and puts her car keys in his hand.)

Customer: “My car is the Toyota parked up on that hill. Open my trunk and put this cat table inside!”

Coworker: “Uh…”

(The customer eventually sits in my section. I try to get her started on the menu, but she is completely turned around in her booth looking toward the front of the restaurant.)

Me: “Is there something wrong?”

Customer: “I want that cat table!”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry, but it’s not for sale. It belongs to the owner.”

Customer: “Well, where is he then? I’m gonna schmooze up to him and then he’ll have to give it to me.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll let him know what’s going on.”

(I go to the back to get her something to drink. When I go back to the front, I hear meowing. It’s the customer, and she is gesturing for the table to come.)

Customer: “Meow, meow, meow! Come here kitty!”

(I can see that other customers are looking.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to stop… meowing. It’s making people nervous.”

(This goes on for half an hour. Eventually, I feel I have to talk to the manager.)

Me: “Can you please talk to this woman? She wants your cat table. She’s meowing and bothering other customers.”

Boss: “I’m not getting involved with this.”

(I go back to the table.)

Me: “Here’s your check.”

Customer: “What about the cat table?”

Me: “So as I said before, the table is not for sale.”

Customer: “Are you serious? This place isn’t very customer oriented!”

(After she leaves, I pick up the check. On the back of the receipt was a drawing of a demonic cat with sharp teeth and a note that said ‘You better give me your cat table! -The Cat Lady.’)