Arts And Crafts Is So Rock And (Toilet) Roll

| FL, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(I run into a customer coming out of the store bathroom. She’s clutching two empty toilet paper rolls and looks angry. I’m expecting her to round on me about no toilet paper in the stalls.)

Customer: “You work in a craft store. How can you let people just throw these away!?”

(The customer puts them in her shopping basket and stalks off. It left me wondering what craft is so awesome that the finished product would negate the ick-factor of digging through a public toilet’s trash bags.)

A Blockhead’s Calling

| OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Technology

(I am working in a call center providing customer care support for a major wireless provider.)

Me: “Thank you for being the best part of [Company]. My name is [Name]. With whom do I have the pleasure of speaking with this evening?”

Caller: “[Caller’s Name].”

Me: “Alright, and I see that you’ve already verified through our automated system. Thank you very much for that. And what can I help you with tonight?”

Caller: “I want to know how to block calls.”

Me: “Alright, I can certainly help you out with that. I see here that you’re using an iPhone 4s; iOS 7 has the—

Caller: “No, I just want to block calls. I keep getting texts from someone who apparently knew whoever had this number before me, and they won’t stop. I just want to block the messages.”

Me: “I understand that, sir, and I was just trying to go over all your options for doing so. As I was saying, iOS 7 has the built-in ability to block calls. Alternatively, our block-call feature has the ability to block calls. That normally costs $4.99 a month, but there is a 90 day free trial for that.”

Caller: “You mean you charge me nine-f********-ninety-nine to f****** block calls?!?”

Me: “Well, sir, that was $4.99, but yes, that is a feature we do charge for.”

Caller: “Is there a supervisor I can speak to?”

Me: “I can certainly get you our next level of support, but I’ll need to place you on a brief hold while I get them on the line.”

Caller: “You do that.”

(Before I can place him on hold, he decides to make a comment to someone in the background, without moving the phone away.)

Caller: “Stupid f****** hick must be real happy with his f****** call center job.”

(I decide to respond in the most polite tone I can muster.)

Me: “Well, sir, I wouldn’t say I enjoy it, but it does pay the bills. Let me put you on that hold, now, so I can get you our next level support.”

(The caller hung up before I could get a manager on the line, and he didn’t answer when the manager tried to call him back. I can’t imagine why…)

Giving You Hell(sinki)

| London, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Language & Words, Money

(I work in retail, but my shift is over and I am sitting at a café near my work place reading a newspaper. A regular customer of my store, who is always rude and demanding, approaches me. It should be very clear to anyone that I’m not working at the moment, but it doesn’t seem to bother her at all.)

Customer: “I’ve been meaning to ask about your name. Why do you have such an unusual name?”

Me: “It’s a Finnish name.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “Finland, the country.”

Customer: “Why would you have a Finnish name? Were your parents hippies or something? No wonder you can’t get ahead in life.”

(I ignore the insult, since I’ve seen her throw tantrums from the smallest provocation.)

Me: “My parents are Finns, as am I.”

Customer: “You are not from Finland! You don’t have an accent and you don’t look foreign!”

Me: “Well thank you, but I really am from Finland.”

Customer: “I should have known! You’re here to leech off our welfare!”

Me: “You’ve seen me working, right?”

Customer: “So what? Why would you come here if not for the benefits?!”

Me: “Not that it’s any of your business, but my whole family is living here for a year because of my father’s work. My father wanted that I and my brother come along, even though we haven’t lived with our parents for a few years now. He just wanted us to have the experience and to be near us. He pays for our rent and expenses, but my brother and I decided to get jobs because we know that he is really stretching his funds to make this happen.”

Customer: “A simple question, how much do you get in government hand outs in a month?”

Me: “I haven’t asked for or received a single penny from the British government. And furthermore, if I wanted to live on benefits I would have been better off staying in Finland.”

Customer: “Liar! Finland is a third world communist country and you are all too lazy to do anything about it. You should be trying to better yourself in your homeland, to help it out of the hole it has gotten itself into, not run away to live on OUR money! That’s why you are here, I know it! I am the customer! I’m coming to call your shop tomorrow to make a complaint about you!”

(I want to avoid her coming to the store to complain, because no one wants to deal with her rage fits.)

Me: “Okay, you are right. I’m here to take your tax money and jobs as well. I’m sorry about that, but you know how things are in Finland. We would have starved over there, or we might have been put into prison for our anti-communist views.”

Customer: “Well, I guess it’s understandable in some cases. At least you had the decency to learn our language!”

(She suddenly cheered up and offered to buy me coffee. I declined because I couldn’t think of a more hellish situation than having coffee with her. After that, she always asked for the foreign boy, meaning me, when she came to the store. She was still the rudest and most demanding customer. Lucky me.)