Weekly Roundup: Bigots Are Boneheads!

Not Always Right | Bigotry, Roundups

Bigots Are Boneheads! In this week’s roundup, we share five stories about bigoted customers!

  1. Going Bananas (5,891 thumbs up)
    A sexist customer complaining about neutering gets neutered himself!
  2. A War Unwon (3,705 thumbs up)
    A marine who fought abroad unfortunately learns that there are enemies at home, too.
  3. Time To Moooove To Another Cowllege (3,720 thumbs up)
    Move over, racial and religious discrimination: introducing FARM discrimination!
  4. So Pho, So Crazy (3,932 thumbs up)
    A Vietnamese supermarket employee has a run-in with a genocidal customer.
  5. Who Needs History When You Have Hollywood (3,345 thumbs up)
    History is an absolute mystery for this boneheaded tourist!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

The Day The Earth Stood Tilled

| Canada | Bizarre

Me: “Department of Agriculture, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hello, I believe the department of agriculture is part of some sort of council. Is that right?”

Me: “I suppose we are, with the other departments of the government.”

Customer: “There are people in the council working against alien species, correct?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you mean by alien species.”

Customer: “I mean alien species in plants.”

Me: “Oh, like weeds?”

Customer: “Well, you could call them ‘weeds’ if that makes you feel better.”

Me: “Uhm… well, I can transfer you to our weed specialist. He’ll be able to answer all your questions.”

Customer: “‘Weed’ specialist… yes, that’ll do. By the way, how long has your number been ###-2666?”

Me: “It’s always been this number, sir.”

Customer: “Do you know what triple-6 means?”

Me: “I’m assuming you’re speaking of the Devil?”

Customer: “That is correct.”

Me: “Well, I’m in no position to transfer you to the Devil, but I can transfer you to our weed specialist.”

Customer: “The alien specialist, yes.”

Me: “Uhm… okay. Have a good day, sir!”

FYI Your ETA Is TBA, So TTYL

| AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

(I am dealing with a pushy customer; he’s submitted a trouble ticket but called in less than two minutes asking for an update.)

Me: “Sir, I am unable to give an ETA at this time. I am still looking into this issue.”

Customer: “So, you cannot give me an ETA?”

Me: “No, I am unable to give an ETA at this time.”

Customer: “When can I get an ETA?”

Me: “Sir, are you asking for an ETA on the ETA?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “I will let you know when there are any further updates…”

In God We Tax

| Pasadena, CA, USA | Money, Religion

(An elderly customer in a Catholic priest’s cassock with a thick Irish accent comes into our bookstore. I add up his purchases and hand him a receipt. He looks over it, but hands it back to me.)

Customer: “There’s been a mistake. I don’t pay sales tax.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. Can I see your resale card?”

Customer: “I don’t have one of those. These items are for myself.”

Me: “Well, then, I’m afraid you have to pay sales tax. Everyone pays sales tax unless they have a resale card.”

Customer: “You’re mistaken. Priests don’t pay sales tax.”

Me: “Maybe not in Ireland, but they do in the US.”

Customer: “…And that’s why this country is completely uncivilized!” *leaves*

High Or Not, Don’t Mess With My Hires

, | Hollywood, FL, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Top

(A car blasting loud music pulls up to the drive thru. Neither I nor them can hear each other over the music. A few moments later, they pull up to the first window. There’s four men in the car, and all of them are smoking marijuana. The driver leans out the window and shouts at me.)

Customer: “Why you don’t take my order, b****?!”

(Before I can even respond, my manager comes storming from behind me and approaches the window.)

Manager: “What’s going on here?”

Customer: “This b**** won’t take my order!”

Manager: “Please do not insult my employees.”

Customer: “Man, f*** you!”

Manager: “I think you had better leave. Now.”

(At this point, the driver gets out of his car and approaches the window and starts having a shouting match with my manager. The next thing I know, the other three guys in the car start panicking about something, and shouting something at the other man, but he can’t hear them over the loud music and screaming. Then, someone comes up from behind the man at the window and taps him on the shoulder. It’s a cop. He has them all arrested for possession of marijuana and disturbing the peace.)

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