Self-Discarding Prophecy

| Switzerland | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I am a secretary at an eye clinic. A patient comes up to me to get a new appointment.)

Me: “So, this is your card with the date and time of the consultation.”

Patient: “Do I get a letter with this information?”

Me: “We just give out the cards. We have about 140 patients everyday. So, we can’t mail everyone a letter for their next appointment… sorry.”

Patient: “But then, how do I remember it?”

Me: “Well, you have your card now.”

Patient: “That’s not possible, because I’m going to throw this card away!”

Me: “Just please hang on to the card, and you’ll be fine.”

Patient: “Great. How am I supposed to remember the appointment when I’m throwing this away?”

Me: “Please just hang on to the card.”

Patient: “You’re no help at all. In case I forget my next appointment, it’s your fault!”

Somehow, The Great Indoors Doesn’t Have The Same Ring To It

| Newfoundland, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work in a small checkpoint building at a campground. It acts as sort of a front desk for the campground. The building being very small, it gets very hot in the summer and has windows on all four sides of it. Three sides for ventilation, with one wicket for serving customers.)

Customer: *pulls up in an RV* “Yeah, I want a campsite for the night.” *holds out cash*

Me: “Sure, we have lots of availability. Can you come around to the front window here? This one is only for fresh air, and I can’t remove the fly screen.”

Customer: “You mean come OUT? Like OUTDOORS?” *gets panicky* “Like, where there are bugs, and dirt, and pollen?!”

Me: “Yeah, I can’t serve anyone through that window. I need you to get out and come around to this one.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I can’t do that! I think I’ll find somewhere else to camp for the night, with less outdoors!” *drives off*

Extras Roundup: 6 Silly Store Signs

Not Always Right | Roundups

Want to inject some fun into your store? Check out these funny store signs from our Extras section that may inspire you to create some of your own! Don’t forget to Like us on Facebook!

Think Twice About Discounts
(118 thumbs up)
Flexible Hours
(116 thumbs up)
Grouchy Surcharge
(158 thumbs up)
Pick Two Out Of Three
(121 thumbs up)
Unattended Children Warning
(146 thumbs up)
Would You Be Rich?
(101 thumbs up)

Do you have a funny sign in your store or did you create one of your own? Share it with us!

Steeps Tall Brewings In A Single Ground

| Texas, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

Customer: “What comes in a Caramel Macchiato? Do you guys make a better one than [competitor #1]?”

Me: “Well, sir, we make it with [ingredients], while [competitor #1] makes it with [competitor #1’s ingredients], an [competitor #3] makes it with [competitor #3’s ingredients].”

Customer: *stunned* “Wow! How do you guys know that?!”

Me: “Well, I’ve worked at all of those other places before I got here, so I know a few of their tricks.”

Customer: “Man, you’re, like… Super Barista!”

(The man orders a caramel macchiato and pays happily. The next day, he catches me in the middle of taking out trash. Rather than removing my apron, I simply turn it backward to avoid getting it dirty, inadvertently making it appear as if I’m wearing a cape. Suddenly, the customer from the day before comes driving by.)

Customer: “SUPER BARISTA!”

Obviously, She Was Dyeing To Know

| UK | Bizarre

(I am volunteering at a charity when a seemingly normal woman approaches my till without any items. Note: I have dark brown hair naturally.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Is that your natural hair colour?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me!”

Me: “Um, I’m not lying to you.”

Customer: “YOU’RE SUCH A LYING B****!”

Me: *taken aback* “I… I’m not lying.”

Customer: “STOP LYING! YOU’LL BURN IN H*** IF YOU CARRY ON LYING! NOW TELL ME WHAT DYE YOU USE!”

(At this point, my coworker comes over.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, what’s the problem here?”

Customer: “This b**** won’t tell me what dye she uses! She’s being selfish! I want her fired!”

Coworker: “Well, our manager isn’t in today, so no one has the authority to fire her. I feel obliged to add this is her natural hair colour, though.”

Customer: “YOU’RE ALL F***ING LIARS IN THIS D*** SHOP! JUST F*** OFF!”

(The customer storms out, knocking things off the hangers as she goes.)

Coworker: “What the h*** was that?!”

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