A Gross Grocery Error

| Newark, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Health & Body

(The customer in front of me is dropping off a prescription. She’s on her phone.)

Customer: “…and then can you pick up [Name] from school, or do you want me— Hang on, I’m at the front of the line.” *to pharmacist* “Here’s my prescription, ID, insurance data. Need anything else?”

Pharmacist: “Just give me a minute to read through this.”

Customer: *on phone* “So, anyway, about the groceries. Why is taking—”

Pharmacist: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Oh, hang on.” *to pharmacist* “Sorry, I know it’s rude to talk on the phone, but—”

Pharmacist: “No, no. Your prescription. It says ‘cheese, yogurt, chunky peanut butter.'”

(There is a pause.)

Customer: *on phone* “I think I know why it’s taking you so long at the grocery store.”

Christmas Is Their Cross To Bear

| IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month

(It is a few days before Christmas. I am finishing up with a patron. At this point, she has been nice and cheerful.)

Me: “Okay. We will give you a call when the book comes in. Thank you and have a good night!”

Patron: “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Me: “Um, no. I handed you back your card, didn’t I?”

Patron: “No. You didn’t address me correctly. Try again.”

Me: “…Have a good night, miss?”

Patron: “It is the time of Christ and you did not bless me with a Merry Christmas. What kind of Christian establishment hires such heathens that do not bless their customers with the correct Christian way?”

Me: “Well, honestly, ma’am, this isn’t a Christian establishment. It’s a public library. I apologize for not wishing you a Merry Christmas.”

Patron: “Every single place on this Earth is a Christian establishment and until you realize this you are headed straight to Hell. Next time I come in, I expect you to bless me and have a proper Christian attitude. I will take this up with your boss if your behavior continues to trend this way.”

(She stares me down for a few minutes and then leaves. I later find out she did complain to my director and insisted she follow the laws of God by only employing good Christian people!)

Going Bananas About Pajamas

| AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It’s December 23rd. I have never worked a Christmas at my current job.)

Me: “Hello. Are you finding everything alright?”

Customer: “Um, no. I can’t find your pajamas.”

(I’m really confused by this. We are a hardware store, and so do not and have never sold pajamas.)

Me: “Sorry. Did you say pajamas?”

Customer: “Obviously. What are you, deaf!? They are clothes that you you wear to bed. Do you understand now?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t sell pajamas.”

Customer: “Well the very nice young lady across the street said you would have the pj’s I’m looking for. I came in last week and I couldn’t find them. So I went to the [Big Clothing Store] across the street. She definitely said you were getting a shipment of purple and pink flowered pj’s today.”

Me: “Again, as I said, we don’t sell sleepwear. If you would like I can tell you another store which might have what you are looking for, or bring my manager to confirm we don’t have any pajamas.”

(The customer is very visibly upset by this, and starts yelling and cursing at me.)

Customer: “What kind of store doesn’t sell pj’s at the holidays! I am holding you personally responsible, you b****! Why dont you get your manager and tell him that!?”

(As the customer says this she knocks over a whole shelf of Christmas ornaments and other decorations.)

Customer: “I hope you have an awful Christmas!”

(The customer starts hurling more insults and horrible names as she walks out. A coworker has observed all of the proceedings.)

Coworker: “–and a happy new year!”

Customer: “F*** you too!”