Girl Scout Tout

| USA | Right | May 23, 2014

(As a Girl Scout, we have no control over the price of Girl Scout cookies. They have gone up to $4 for around two years now.)

Me: “Would you like to buy any Girl Scout cookies?”

Lady: “Yes, I love Girl Scout cookies! How much are they?”

Me: “They are $4 a box, ma’am.”

Lady: “YOU’RE LYING TO ME! MY DAUGHTER USED TO SELL THEM FOR $3.50!”

Me: “Ma’am, they have been $4 now for around two years. That is the price and we have no control over it.”

Lady: “You are just trying to make some extra cash! My daughter used to charge 50 cents extra all the time! Now give me the real price!”

Me: “That was against the rules, and we have never done that! If you refuse to pay the full price, we cannot sell cookies to you!”

Lady: “FINE! Do you take checks?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we do! What would you like?”

Lady: “I want two boxes of cookies! NOW!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. That will be $8.”

(She gives us a check, takes the cookies, and walks away. As I look at the check I notice it is only for $7! I run after the lady.)

Me: “Excuse me! We need another dollar!”

Lady: “F*** you! You are just cheating me!”

(She backs up in her car, almost hits me, and throws a dollar out the window! Then she races out of the parking lot!)

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A Customer’s Behavior Can Cut You In Half

| WV, USA | Right | May 23, 2014

(I work as a weekday team member at a home improvement store, mostly in the lumber yard. I am already having a rough day, and a customer asks me if I could cut her a piece of plywood, but our wood cutter is currently out of service. Her pleasant demeanor instantly turns sour.)

Customer: “The fact that your saw is broken is unacceptable! My mother is sitting outside in her vehicle, and she just had open-heart surgery! I don’t have time for this!”

Me: “I’m very sorry that our saw is broken, ma’am, but I could call the store across town for you and see if their saw is functioning—”

Customer: “No! I don’t want to go to the other store! I spent $20 in gas just to f****** get here!”

Me: “Yet again, I do apologize for the inconvenience—”

(The customer obviously does not hear me, and continues shouting.)

Customer: “F*** you! I want my wood cut! I’ll break it in half myself if I have to!”

(At this point, the customer is so angry, I am afraid she will try to physically harm me. Two managers on duty overhear the ordeal and walk over.)

Manager #1: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but as our associate has already told you, our saw is currently out of service, and is due to be replaced shortly. If you would like, we might have a circular saw in the back that we could use to cut it for you—”

Customer: “This is f****** crazy! I don’t understand why you can’t fix the saw! My mother is still out in the vehicle, and I don’t have time for your bulls***!”

Me: “Ma’am, if you don’t mind waiting here, I could go get the saw for you and cut it.”

Customer: “Are you f****** kidding me?! I’ve been in the store for over two hours, and you expect me to wait while you go f*** around, and probably not even come back!?”

(After more rambling, she finally agrees to wait. She then says she is going to go outside and ‘cool off.’ After I retrieve the circular saw, I then go outside to look for the customer. I find her in her car, with her feet up on the steering wheel, smoking a cigarette alongside her mother, who, for having ‘open-heart surgery’, is smoking as well. Customer recognizes me and then shoos me away, and I go back inside. After 25 minutes or so, the customer finally comes back inside, and this time, her ‘recovering’ mother has come in to do some paint shopping.)

Customer: “Is anyone going to f****** help me, or am I going to have to start shooting people to get attention?”

Manager #2: “Excuse me, ma’am, is that really necessary? Our associate went looking for you, and it has been over half an hour.”

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but I am ready to cut this wood for you, as soon as you tell me the lengths you want.”

Customer: “I want you to cut it the f*** in half!”

Me: “Would you like me to rip it for you, or cut it in 4×4 sections?”

Customer: “Go ahead and f****** rip it. And stop wasting my time!”

(I proceed to rip the plywood into two foot by eight foot sections, but as it turns out, this was wrong. At this point, the two managers have left me to deal with this customer, because they felt that I had the situation under control.)

Customer: “You f****** dips***! Why did you cut my wood like that?!”

Me: “Ma’am, you told me to rip it—”

Customer: “No, I said in HALF!”

Me: “What did you mean, 4×4 sections?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s what I f****** said the first time!”

(Managers have overheard this as well, and came back over to assist.)

Manager #1: “Ma’am, we would be happy to get you a new piece of wood, but if you would have clarified exactly what you wanted, we stock wood in the dimensions you wanted, and you would have been out of here two hours ago.”

Customer: “I don’t give a s***! I just want my wood cut!”

(Thoroughly annoyed and ready to snap, I reluctantly retrieve a new piece of wood, and agree to re-cut it for her.)

Customer: “About f****** time! Thank you for wasting my life!”

Me: “Gladly.”

(Because of the violent nature of this customer, and because of her threats, the managers finally sent her out of the store, with her precious wood- for free. We didn’t want to give her any excuse to come back and we were thankful nothing else happened! Because of this whole ordeal, the managers allowed me to sit in the break room for a few minutes to cool off. Hopefully, that is the first AND last time I receive a death threat in the workplace.)

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Should Go Back To Primary Level

| Liverpool, England, UK | Right | May 23, 2014

(I work in a small art and bookshop. We get a lot of students coming in to get supplies.)

Customer: “Hi. I’m starting an art course at the college and I need some brushes.”

Me: “Okay. We have lots to choose from over there.”

(I point to huge rack of brushes to my right full of oil, acrylic, and watercolour brushes.)

Customer: “Oh, I’m not quite…”

Me: “I can help you if you like? What sort of brush are you looking for?”

Customer: “Well, what sort of brushes are the other students buying?”

Me: “It’s up to you really. It’s sort of a personal preference. What do you like to paint with?”

Customer: “Primary colours.”

Me: “…”

(Something told me she probably won’t excel at art college!)

She’s Going To Have Kittens

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Right | May 22, 2014

(I volunteer at a cat shelter and am usually on care duties, but I manage adoptions when there isn’t a more experienced coworker available. On this day I’m one of only two people working, so when someone interested in adoption enters, I take care of them.)

Customer: “I’m looking for a cat that’s docile and easy to care for, but isn’t scared of everything or so shy you never see it. Y’know?”

(There are many cats that match this description, so I introduce them to the first three that stick out in my mind and invite them to take a look around the shelter on their own while I take care of the other units. They thank me and I leave for ten minutes. I later catch up with them as they’re exiting the kitten unit.)

Customer: “I found the perfect one!”

Me: “Oh, really? That’s great! Which one?”

Customer: “The little black and grey one just in there.” *points*

(There are two matching that description, so I invite them back into the unit with me and they show me the kitten they want. To my horror, it’s one of the worst-behaved cats we have, deceptive in that it will purr and cuddle you before it pisses all over your clothes and tears up the blinds.)

Me: “Oh… this one? I feel like I should warn you that she’s had behavioural issues in the past. She’s the reason this room doesn’t have any cushions in it and she has a bad track for urinating on clothes. I wouldn’t recommend her over the other cats I showed you.”

Customer: “What?! No! You must be thinking of that one.” *gestures to the other black and grey kitten, with distinctly different facial markings, sleeping in a bed* “This one’s so sweet. She just came right up to me and cuddled me the entire time I was in here.”

Me: “No, I’m positive it’s this one. She is very loving, but she’ll shred all your furniture. I’m afraid that if you adopt her you’ll have to spend a lot of your time working through her destructiveness, if you can at all. Since you’re looking for an easy to care for cat, I really don’t think she’d be a good match.”

Customer: “Blah! This is the one I want. I’m sure of it. Don’t you want them to get adopted?”

(We argue back and forth for a short while. I’m reluctant to put their application through to the shelter owner, but they’re insistent, and I don’t have the option not to, anyway. Three days later they pay and pick the kitten up. They arrive at the shelter again in two weeks and catch me as I’m emptying litter boxes.)

Customer: “You! You’re the person who let me adopt that s***-brained f****** cat! I should sue this place!”

Me: *remembering them* “You adopted the black and grey kitten that I specifically warned you not to adopt?”

Customer: “Yes! She f***** up all my drapes and pissed on everything in my f****** closet! I should make you pay for the damage!”

Me: “I’m sorry for your belongings, but I told you this would happen before you even placed your application. There’s nothing we can do to reimburse you.”

Coworker: *approaching the shouting* “I can help you in the office. If you would follow me?”

(They follow her, ranting about their drapes and my incompetence. Turns out the kitten did more than $500 worth of damage, but we’re in no way liable to compensate their loss. The kitten was returned to the shelter and was later adopted by a woman who was able to rehabilitate her.)

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Telltale Sign of A Good Teller

| OH, USA | Right | May 22, 2014

(I am only 19 when I start working for a large financial institution. After almost two years experience with the bank, at 21, I am still the youngest employee in the branch. I am working in the lobby with another teller who has just transferred into a branch after her position was eliminated in the back office, since she was within a year of retirement age.)

Me: *to customer waiting in line* “Hi. How are you doing today? What can I help you with?”

Customer: “I have a question about this transaction. I think I should probably wait for the other teller.”

Me: “Are you sure? I would be more than happy to help you with your transaction.”

Customer: “I think the other teller would be able to help with this. I don’t think you would know the answer. She’s been here longer so knows more than you do.”

Me: “If you would prefer to wait for [coworker], you are more than welcome to.”

(My coworker is still trying to get used to our DOS based system. I proceed to help the next four customers waiting in line. By the time the customer goes to my coworker’s window, I am just finishing up with the fifth and last customer in the line.)

Customer: “I have a question about a transaction that was on my overdraft protection account. Can you look into what happened?”

Coworker: “[My Name], how do I look that up?”

Me: “Go into [system acronym] and type in the command [more acronyms]. The account summary will be the first screen and the history is on the next.”

(The customer stares silently.)

Me: “I guess I would have been able to help you after all, sir.”

(At least he had the good sense to look a bit sheepish after that.)

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