The Customer Is Always Right-Click

| USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A user leaves me a couple of long, painful, voicemail messages about her computer not working at all.)

User: “I can’t close windows, I can’t click anything, and I can’t respond to important emails!”

(I remotely connect to her computer, check everything out, and everything looks good. I assume that she had restarted her computer, found everything okay, and just forgot to tell me. I receive another call from her.)

User: “My computer is in utter chaos!”

(Again, I remotely connect into her computer, and everything looks okay. I go to see her computer in person, and luckily, she is there.)

Me: “Can you show me the problem?”

User: “Of course, look!”

Me: “Ma’am, I can see the immediate problem.”

User: “What is it!?”

Me: “You’re right-clicking on everything.”

Interested In Another Kind Of Bun

, | Vernon, BC, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

Me: “Welcome to [Fast Food Chain]. My name is [Name]. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Hey, [My Name], I’d like a large double-double.”

Me: “Anything else for you?”

Customer: “Yo, do you have any hookers?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You know, hookers.”

Me: “Yeah, no. We don’t carry those here, sorry.”

Customer: “Aw, man! Well, whatever, I guess we’ll try [rival fast food chain right next to ours].”

Me: “Sounds like a good plan.”

(I almost got in trouble for saying ‘no’ to a customer and referring them to our rival, until my boss learned what they had been asking for!)

A Perfectly Natural Request

| Scotland, UK | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(I’m an off duty, live-in receptionist who has been called back to work because of a guest complaint that no one seems to know how to deal with. I phone up to the guest’s room.)

Me: “Hello, sir, I understand you have a complaint about your room. What seems to be the problem?”

Guest: “Yes, it’s raining too loudly outside, and I can’t fall asleep!”