A Bona-Fido Idiot

| UK | Right | December 20, 2013

(I work for an animal charity. I am out in the local community promoting responsible dog ownership.)

Me: “So is your dog neutered then?”

Customer: “Sorry?”

Me: “Sorry, madam. Is your dog neutered?”

(The customer stares blankly.)

Colleague: “Madam, has your dog been castrated?”

(The customer continues to stare blankly.)

Me: “Has he been ‘done’?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah. He did have an operation on his ears a few weeks ago…”

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Just Good Customer Service

| Right | December 19, 2013

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With You Or In The Bag?

| Right | December 19, 2013

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Her Heart Is Just Not In It

| Right | December 19, 2013

Check The Holodeck

| Huntsville, AL, USA | Right | December 19, 2013

(I work at a call center for a satellite TV company.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I’m not getting any picture on my TV.”

Me: “I apologize for the inconvenience. I would be happy to try to help you resolve this.”

(After going through some basic troubleshooting for several minutes, I’m finally able to determine that her satellite box isn’t connected to her television.)

Me: “Ma’am, you’ll need to connect your box to your TV in order to see a picture.”

Customer: “You’re lying! I’ve had your service for years. I’ve never had to hook up my TV!”

(This customer had actually only just signed up for service a few days earlier.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid this company’s equipment has always needed to be connected to a television in order to display a picture.”

Customer: “But I thought the box could make a picture above it – like a hologram or something.”

Me: “Ma’am, if our equipment could do that, we would be charging you a lot more for your programming…”

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