Verbal Abuse Of Contract

| Houston, TX, USA | Right | April 12, 2014

Me: “You have a 24-month contract. If you cancel before the end of the agreement you will have an early termination fee.”

Customer: “I am telling you verbally to cancel the contract. So you can’t charge me a fee.”

Me: “Ma’am, you signed the contract. It is binding. Do you recall signing the contract when your service was activated?”

Customer: “Yes, I signed the contract. But it’s void because I’m telling you verbally to cancel it.”

Me: “Telling us to cancel the contract does not void it. That’s like calling my mortgage company and saying my contract is invalid and I don’t owe any more payments because I am telling them verbally it’s cancelled.”

Customer: “But I am saying it. Verbally. So now I don’t have a contract.”

(I sent her a copy of her contract. Hopefully someone helped her to understand what a contract was.)

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Tis The Seasoning

| MI, USA | Right | April 11, 2014

(Around Christmas, my father and I decide to go out to eat at a chain restaurant. We can’t help but overhear a table, with a husband who has remained silent the entire time, and a wife, complaining about how her meal has been ruined by the waiter, who happens to be the manager on duty.)

Woman: “Excuse me, sir. You completely ruined my steak. This is not what I ordered.”

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I would be more than happy to correct this error. May I ask what is wrong with your steak? Is it overcooked?”

Woman: “Just slightly but the major problem is the seasonings you put on the steak. I cannot stand it. I want just a plain steak. No seasonings.”

(Overhearing this, I realize I have ordered the same thing, a Cajun top sirloin, which clearly states that there is spices put on the steak. After a few minutes, the manager comes back with a plain steak for the other table, as well as my meal. After delivering my meal, the woman pulls the manager back to her table.)

Woman: “Sir, this is the second time, and the last time I hope I have to call you over here. You ruined my steak again. This steak is so bland and flavorless. How hard is it to give me a good steak with a bit of salt and pepper?”

Manager: “I am sorry for the confusion, ma’am. I’ll go fix your order personally.”

Woman: *as the manager is leaving the table, but clearly able to hear* “You know, honey, why would a place like this put that seasoning on something when it doesn’t even say it has it on there? No one likes that stuff anyway.”

(Both my father and I have worked in restaurants most of our lives are fed up by this demanding customer and come to the aid of the manager.)

Me: *loud enough for the manager to hear* “Oh, my god! What did they do to this steak?!” *I see the woman turn around and give me a look of agreement as my dad is trying the steak* “This is the best steak I have ever had! And the seasoning is GREAT!”

(The husband was nearly falling out of his chair laughing as the wife stayed silent for the rest of the meal. The manager later thanked us for helping silence the customer. Knowing he was going to get stiffed on a tip, we each pitched $10 just to make his day a little brighter.)

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Obsessions With Possessions

| Houston, TX, USA | Right | April 11, 2014

(We don’t have associates permanently supervising the fitting rooms, so they’re left unattended for periods of time while the fitting room associate cleans out the other ones. I enter an open fitting room to find an entire outfit of clothes that we do not sell. My first instinct was that someone had changed into our clothes in the fitting room and stolen them, leaving theirs behind. I then look over to see a phone and a purse left in the fitting room, and take the items to a manager to report the incident and laugh at the supposed thief’s stupidity. Just then, an angry looking woman comes up to the counter.)

Customer: “Those are my things!”

Me: “Oh! You left them in the fitting room.”

Customer: *angrily* “Well, I wasn’t finished…”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am. You left your things in an open, unsupervised fitting room. You’re lucky I found them. If another customer had walked in there they could have just grabbed them at walked right out.”

Customer: “But I wasn’t finished!”

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Eternal Persistence Is The Price Of Pie

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Right | April 11, 2014

Customer: “Can I have the [flavor] pie?”

Me: “Sure! Would you like sauce with that?”

Customer: “And it’s to eat-in please.”

Me: “Sure. Do you need tomato sauce?”

Customer: “I’ll also have a [coffee] with that.”

Me: “I’ll add that to your order. Do you need tomato sauce for the pie?”

Customer: “Make sure its skinny milk! And I’ll also have a slice of cake.”

Me: *giving up* “Sure. Was there anything else I can get you today?”

Customer: “No, thanks. That’s all.”

Me: “Okay, so that comes to [total]. Here’s your table number.”

Customer: *hands over money but doesn’t move*

Me: “Um, if you’d like to take the table number, ma’am, we’ll bring everything out for you.”

Customer: “Well, can I get some sauce first?”

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Sodium And So Dum

| FL, USA | Right | April 11, 2014

Customer: “I’d like a half-pound of the [Cheap Brand] low-sodium ham, please!”

Me: “I’m sorry. We don’t have [Cheap Brand] low-sodium ham. We do have the [Premium Brand] low-sodium ham, though.”

Customer: “No, you do have the [Cheap Brand] kind. It’s right there.”

(She points to the Cheap Brand boiled ham, which is the lowest quality meat we sell, and is loaded with salt and fat.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid that ham isn’t low-sodium. Actually, that’s the highest-sodium ham we have.”

Customer: “WHAT?! I’ve been eating that ham for three months because I thought it was healthy! My doctor said my blood pressure was dangerously high!”

Me: “Um… that’s not good. Did one of the employees here tell you that ham was low-sodium?”

Customer: “No! I just assumed it was!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you probably should have asked someone here about that.”

Customer: “SHUT UP! IF I HAVE A HEART ATTACK IT’S YOUR FAULT!”

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