Kiss-mas Time

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Right | December 26, 2013

(My grandmother has taken me to work. She buys a shirt before leaving. Before she goes she gives me a kiss goodbye. I start ringing up another customer.)

Me: “Okay, that’s $20.”

(The customer hands me the money and leans over counter with his lips puckered.)

Me: “Uh, sir? What are you doing?”

Customer: “The other lady got a kiss. I want one too!”

Me: “That was my grandmother.”

Customer: “So what? I’m good looking! KISS ME!”

(My boss walks over after seeing the whole thing.)

Boss: “You need to go.”

Customer: “Oh come on. Not even for Christmas?”

Boss: “LEAVE!”

1 Thumbs
1,598
VOTES

Christmas Consideration

| Richmond, KY, USA | Right | December 26, 2013

(It is the Saturday after Thanksgiving. There is only one register open as the day is just beginning. My shopping cart is filled with three dozen books and other sundry items.)

Cashier: “Good morning. Can I interest you in signing up today for a [Store] card? You’ll save on future purchases here at [Store].”

Me: “Only if you open a second register to help the lady behind me.”

(We both turn at look at a 40-ish female carrying at least a dozen different items. She can barely see or carry her load.)

Cashier: “Madam, we can help you at lane two. We’ve just opened it.”

Me: *to the cashier* “Thank you. My name is…”

(Registering for the card and checking out took just a few minutes. Stay classy out there, fellow Christmas shoppers!)

1 Thumbs
1,462
VOTES

Shouldn’t Sweater Over It

| Newcastle, England, UK | Right | December 25, 2013

(I’m looking for a popular Christmas jumper (sweater) and have finally found one in my size. It is the last one in the store and I have put it in my trolley. I’m just browsing around the other clothes when a customer looks into my trolley and takes the jumper.)

Me: “Excuse me, but what are you doing?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “That jumper was in my trolley. I’m buying it.”

Customer: “No. It wasn’t. I’ve just got this off the rail! Stop hassling me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I just WATCHED YOU take it out of my trolley and put it into your basket. Can you please give it back so I can go and buy it?”

Customer: “No. It’s not your colour. Anyway, I didn’t take it out of your trolley.”

Me: “Okay. There is an easy way of solving this. Why don’t we go and visit security and get them to look at the camera? If you took it out of my trolley then you give it back. If you didn’t and I was mistaken I will pay for the jumper for you as an apology. How does that sound?”

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF BEING A THIEF YOU F*****G SKANK!”

Me: “Right. I’ve had enough of this now. I came here just for that jumper.”

(I grab it out of the basket. The customer walks away, muttering loudly.)

Customer: “Such a b****. Ruining Christmas for me!”

1 Thumbs
1,873
VOTES

Milking The Holidays For All Their Worth

| Kent, England, UK | Right | December 25, 2013

Customer: *looking at store times* “So you’re closed Christmas Day and Boxing Day?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Customer: “So your manager thinks it’s acceptable for you to close Christmas Day and Boxing Day? One day just isn’t enough for you greedy swines? What if I, say, need some milk?”

Me: “Don’t worry. I will leave my family and come serve you your milk.”

Customer: “So you should.”

1 Thumbs
1,226
VOTES

Gifted At Bad Gift Wrapping

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Right | December 25, 2013

Me: “Would you like me to gift wrap that for you?”

Customer: “Yes. But can you make it look a bit crap so my girlfriend thinks I did it?”

1 Thumbs
1,968
VOTES
Page 1,699/3,770First...1,6971,6981,6991,7001,701...Last