Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 8

| Alabama, USA | Funny Names

(A coworker and I are walking around the theater seeing if anything needs to be done. A woman and about 6 children are walking down the hallway. One of the young girls starts running around.)

Customer: “Bella! Bella! Stop running, Bella! Bella!”

(She looks at her young son who is behaving well and pats him on the head.)

Customer: “Good job, Edward.”

Me: *speechless*

Coworker: “I wonder what the others are named.”

Related:
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 7
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 6
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 5
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 4
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 3
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 2
Less Twilight, More Daylight

Forbidden Fruits (& Veggies)

| Washington, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(A middle-aged woman, her mother, and her three year old walk into my sandwich shop.)

Mother: *to child* “What do you want today?”

Child: “A samminch!”

Mother: “Okay, what kind?”

Child: “A samminch!”

Mother: “Do you want turkey?”

Child: “NO!”

Mother: “Do you want ham?”

Child: “NO!”

Mother: “I AIN’T RAISIN’ NO VEGETARIAN!”

Fractional Intelligence

| Texas, USA | Math & Science

Customer: “I need to know the height of this refrigerator.”

Me: “Sure, it’s 69 3/4 in.”

Customer: “Is 3/4 more or less than a half?”

Me: “It’s slightly more.”

Customer: “No, that can’t be right!”

How To Make An Employee’s Day

| New York, USA | Awesome Customers, Top

(I work at a call center. As I’m working, I overhear my coworker talking another call.)

Coworker: “Hi, my name is [name]. I’m calling from [organization]…”

(As usual, I tune her out since it’s just a script and focus on my own call. However, after a few minutes, she hangs up and excitedly speaks to everyone in the room.)

Coworker: “Guys! She used my name!”

Manager: “What?”

Coworker: “She used my name! When she hung up, she said, ‘Have a nice day, [name]’!”

(To this day, whenever the room’s getting a little down, someone always tells the story of the customer who used her name!)

Language That Belongs In The Toilet

| Apple Valley, MN, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(I’m stocking shelves when a customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you have any a** wipe?”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “You know, a** wipe?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Toilet paper?”

Me: “Oh! Aisle 6.”

(The customer smiles and leaves. I’m from the area, so I can confirm that “a** wipe” isn’t a regional term for toilet paper!)

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