Should Stop Giving Herself A Good Dressing Down

| Right | January 23, 2014

Trying To Give A Dogged Defense

| NC, USA | Right | January 23, 2014

(I’m a receptionist at a small animal hospital. I take a phone call.)

Me: “[Hospital Name]. How may I help you?”

Client: “Is it possible that my dog is gay?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Client: “I think my dog is gay, and my husband is very homophobic. He says we can’t keep the dog if it is gay.”

Me: “What made you come to this conclusion, ma’am?”

Client: “He sniffs other male dogs inappropriately. It makes the whole family uncomfortable.”

Me: “Dogs often smell other dogs as a means of introduction, and they do smell each other’s hind end area to get acquainted. That is very common.”

Client: “How do I make him stop this?”

Me: “Is your dog neutered?”

Client: “No, my husband does not want him neutered. He says it’s not fair to the dog.”

Me: “Unaltered dogs can present these behaviors more frequently and sometimes can be more aggressive. It may help if you had him neutered.”

Client: *yelling to her husband* “She says the dog won’t be gay anymore if we chop his balls off…” *a few moments of bickering between the couple* “Well, we can’t keep the dog if he’s gay, so when can we get him neutered?”

Me: “Ma’am, neutering your dog will not stop him from sniffing other dogs. I was just suggesting that neutering him may calm him down and the behavior would be less frequent.”

Client: “Can you just tell my husband that if we go through with the surgery that he won’t be gay anymore? I’m afraid he is going to make me give him up. He is terribly afraid of gays! He won’t even let the dog sleep in the bed until this gets figured out…”

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With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 11

, | Red Deer, AB, Canada | Right | January 23, 2014

(I am taking orders on drive thru.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Hey! So, I hear you guys have hickory-smoked bacon! This is true, right? You have bacon?”

Me: “Yes, we do. It can be added to any sandwich or baked goo—”

Customer: “No, no, I just want bacon. Bacon!”

Me: “Just bacon alone?”

Customer: “Yeah! Lots of bacon!”

Me: “So, would 10 slices be okay?”

Customer: “No, make it 20! 30! Lots of bacon!”

(I give him his total and he drives up to the window. I go wait by soup and sandwich for his order to be ready.)

Coworker: “30 slices of bacon on the side? On the side of what?”

Me: “…Just bacon. 30 slices of bacon.”

(My coworker stares blankly at me before wrapping 30 slices of bacon in a sandwich bag and giving it to me, shaking her head. I take the bacon to the window and my other coworker gives it to him.)

Customer: “Thanks, man! Gotta have my bacon!” *drives off*

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From NotAlwaysRomantic
With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 10
With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 9
With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 8
With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 7
With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 6
With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 5
With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 4
With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 3
With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 2
With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility

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Hasn’t Got A Mind For Business

| Draper, UT, USA | Right | January 23, 2014

(I work at a call center for a website that sells musical equipment. A customer has called in with a complaint. He places an order for a pair of powered speakers. There is also a canceled order for a different pair of powered speakers. Apparently, the wrong set of speakers was canceled and the customer is very upset that he received the wrong speakers. I immediately set up a return/exchange for him so he could get the speakers he wanted. For some reason, he was also under the impression that the price he was quoted for the second set of speakers was for the speakers and a wireless microphone. Unfortunately, it was just for the speakers.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the price you were quoted is only for the set of speakers. If you want to add the wireless microphone to the order, it will be [price].”

Caller: “That’s not right. I was quoted [price of speakers] before! I want that price!”

Me: “I do apologize, sir. I can’t get you that price. You need to pay for the microphone before we can send it to you.”

Caller: “I already paid for it! It was on the order with the other speakers!”

Me: “That order was canceled, sir. We didn’t take any money from you for that order.”

Caller: “You’re wrong. I paid for that.”

Me: “No, sir. You didn’t. The order was canceled. We legally cannot take money from you until we ship something out. Since that order was canceled, it was never sent out. You did not pay for that order. If you would like to add the wireless microphone, your order total will be [price].”

Caller: “NO, IT’S NOT! YOU’RE WRONG! NOW SEND ME WHAT I BOUGHT!”

Me: “You didn’t buy them! The order was canceled!”

Caller: “That’s not my fault! I shouldn’t have to pay for someone else’s mistake!”

Me: “I apologize, sir. It is our fault, but we can’t just send you the microphone for free.”

Caller: “I don’t want it for free! I want it at the price I was given!”

Me: “To get it to that price, I would need to send it to you for free. I cannot do that.”

Caller: “That’s not my fault. It’s not my problem. I shouldn’t have to eat that money. It’s your mistake! Now give me what I paid for, d*** it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you did not pay for those items. We will not send them to you. The order was canceled, so you did NOT pay for those.”

Caller: “Well, in my mind, I did!”

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I Have A Sinking Feeling, Part 2

| IL, USA | Right | January 23, 2014

(Our beach normally has a 15-minute swim break to clear the water to make sure no one is missing, and to allow the lifeguards a short break. Today is incredibly busy and hot, and we are extremely understaffed since most of the college students have returned to school. The manager has just announced a 30-minute swim break. I am at the beach gate, where we collect the entrance fees.)

Woman: *in a rude tone* “Who just made that announcement? Where is that person?”

Me: “The beach manager. They are in the lifeguard office. Is there something I can help you with?”

Woman: “What do they mean a 30-minute swim break?! That’s ridiculous!”

Me: “Well, we always have a 15-minute swim break, but today they are extending it to 30 minutes for a few reasons. For one, since there are so many people it takes more time to clear the water. Also, we are understaffed today and have already had one lifeguard go home sick. The longer break allows the lifeguards time for a break so they can be focused when they go on the stands.”

Woman: “This is insane! I can’t believe this place! How inconsiderate!” *storms off*

Related:
I Have A Sinking Feeling

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