Why The Long Face

| CA, USA | Family & Kids

(A customer approaches me at the cash desk.)

Customer: “You remind me of my daughter.”

Me: “Oh, thank you.”

Customer: “I call her Pony-Face!”

John Smith Calling On Line One

| Helsinki, Finland | Tourists/Travel

(I work at the frequent flyer service for an airline. A customer calls in to check his mileage balance but there are no flights registered.)

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but are no flights registered on your account. I’ll need to check what’s gone wrong and we’ll get the flights registered to your account.”

Customer: “I knew this! I knew this wouldn’t work. You want everyone to be you frequent flyers so you can spam us with your ads but you won’t give anything back! Not even what you promised!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir. I can assure you that’s not how we do business. If you’ll give me just a minute, I’ll figure out what has happened and we’ll get your flights registered.”

(I scan through our booking system for flights and manage to find three bookings that clearly are his. The bookings are lacking his frequent flyer number and that’s why they haven’t been registered.)

Me: “I think I found the reason why the flights haven’t been registered, sir. I found these three bookings but your frequent flyer number isn’t registered in the bookings. That’s why the flights weren’t registered. Did you give your frequent flyer number when booking the flights?”

Customer: “No, I didn’t.”

Me: “Well, then that’s the reason why the flights weren’t registered. You should always give your frequent flyer number when making a booking. But don’t worry, sir; I can register the flights right here, right now to your account.”

Customer: “Oh boy, you’re arrogant!”

Me: “Excuse me, sir?”

Customer: “I don’t need to give my frequent flyer number!”

Me: “Well, without the number we cannot register the mileage.”

Customer: “That’s bull-s***, of course you can! When I call you, you know I call you. When I make a booking, you know I make a booking. When I pay my flights, you know I pay my flights. When I check in, you know I check in. When I board the plane, you know I board the plane. You know people, you track us down, I don’t need to give you any d*** numbers to get anything registered!”

(As he’s ranting, I’ve searched our frequent flyer records with his first and last name.)

Me: “I’m very sorry that we haven’t been able to meet your expectations, but we sincerely do need the frequent flyer number to register your flights. We cannot use just passenger names for two reasons: firstly it’s against the privacy laws and secondly we have almost 30 frequent flyers that have exactly the same name as you do sir.”

Customer: “30?”

Me: “Yes sir, almost 30. And that’s just the ones that have registered as our frequent flyers, there’s even more who haven’t registered.”

(He agreed to use his frequent flyer number after that.)

An Offer Of Fruitcake

| Kent, England, UK | Bizarre

Customer: “Can I borrow a pen?”

Coworker: “Yeah, sure.”

(My coworker hands the customer a pen, and she goes back to her table. However, she returns a few minutes later.)

Customer: “YOU’VE PUT A BEWITCHMENT ON THIS PEN!”

(She throws it hard at my co worker. Turns out she hadn’t taken the lid off. Half an hour later, she approaches another coworker.)

Customer: “Why should I have to queue? I have already done so once!”

Coworker #2: “Because that’s what you have to do in civilised society.”

(The customer queues and buys a piece of cake, then walks into the stock area out back, with PRIVATE written on the door, to find my co worker.)

Customer: “I’m sorry for shouting. Please take this cake.”

Coworker #2: “Sorry, I can’t. We aren’t allowed to eat on duty.”

Customer: “SHUT UP AND EAT THE BLOODY CAKE! I WON’T LEAVE UNTIL YOU DO!”

(While this is going on someone calls the shopping center security. They come remove her from the entire shopping center. Later on that day, she comes back for one last salvo.)

Customer: “I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO ME?!”

Fuel-Good Moments

| PEI, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money

(I am working overnight at a gas station when a lady comes in looking very stressed out.)

Me: “Hi, how are you?”

Customer: “I’ve been better. I need gas and I’m hoping my cards work.”

(She places two credit cards and a debit card on the counter.)

Me: *looking at the cards* “You had $20 on pump 3, right?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(At this point, I pull my wallet out and pay for her gas.)

Customer: *tearing up* “Why did you do that?”

Me: “I’ve been in your shoes and it sucks, so I like to help out whenever I can.”

Customer: *struggling to hold back tears* “Thank you so so much. I promise to pay you back!”

Me: “Don’t worry about it, please enjoy the rest of your evening!”

(A few days later she came back in trying her hardest for me to take the money, but I wouldn’t. She comes in every night talk to me, so I made a new friend!)

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An Extra Bag Of Hot Air

| Helsinki, Finland | At The Checkout, Top

(I’m serving a customer at the register, with items well into a triple digit total. He’s staring at the price display like a hawk. Even though there’s no line, I’m scanning as fast as I can.)

Customer: “I think you charged me three bags.”

(I look and see that one of the two carrier bags he had had indeed scanned twice. I void the extra bag.)

Me: “Oops, sorry about that!”

Customer: “There really should be a training program for you people.”

Me: “I’ve been trained for this, sir.”

Customer: “Well sure as s*** doesn’t look like it. How hard could it possibly be to scan each item once and only once?”

Me: “It happens. I fixed it, as you can see from the display.”

Customer: “But you’ve wasted my time with your incompetence!”

(My manager is walking by, sees the commotion, and approaches.)

Customer: “You really should be fired. I don’t think it’s too much to f***ing ask for you people to do your jobs properly. Perhaps if you had paid attention in school and not fooled around all the time, you wouldn’t be doing this s*** now. Moron!”

Me: “I apologize for the error.”

Customer: “Well, that’s not really good enough, s***head! This happens every time! The only reason I don’t go to the other store across the street is because they’re even more f***ing idiotic over there!”

Me: “I’ve corrected the mistake now. You will only pay for the items you’re actually buying.”

Customer: “But how the f*** can I be sure of that now?! I only get the f***ing receipt after I’ve paid! I’m left trusting potheads and morons like you to handle this s*** properly, but I guess you can’t even do that! Un-f***ing-believable!”

(At this point, my manager comes over and speaks up.)

Manager: “You make an excellent point, sir. I will fire this employee immediately, and your purchases today are free of charge.”

Customer: “Really?!”

Manager: “No. F*** off!”

(With that, my manager closes my register and motions me to follow him. We leave for break, leaving the customer standing there, stunned.)

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