Pot Calling The Kettle Everything

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I work in a South American restaurant that tends to get a lot of Asian customers. Since I’m fluent in Mandarin Chinese, Korean, Khmer [Cambodian], and Tagalog [Philippines], I’m often called on to serve customers who don’t speak English. A group of seven customers come in.)

Customer #1: *obviously struggling* “Can… I… has this?”

Me: *taking a guess* *Mandarin* “Would you be more comfortable in Mandarin?”

Customer #2: *Korean* “Stupid Mexicans. Can’t even tell the difference between a Korean and a Chinese man.”

Me: *Korean* “I apologize, ma’am. I guessed based on [Customer #1]’s accent and it seems I was wrong. Can I take your order now?”

Customer #3: *English* “No. I want to talk to your manager.”

(I go back to get the manager, who is Peruvian.)

Manager: “Can I help you?

Customer #3: “Yes. I want to complain about your Mexican waiter’s horribly racist demeanor.”

Manager: “How was he being racist? He’s usually very culturally sensitive.”

Customer #4: “You Mexicans are all the same, never bothering to think that maybe there are more types of Asians than just Chinese people.”

Manager: “First of all, your waiter is from Puerto Rico. I’m from Peru. So maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to complain about being unable to differentiate ethnicity.”

Customer #3: “I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”

(Sighing, my manager assigns a Chinese-American waiter to them. He can only speak English and ends up having to have customers 3 and 4 translate for the rest of their table in order to get their order. Amazingly, they never complained about the difficulty in ordering.)

This Diet Is Really Going Against The Grain

| MN, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

Customer: “Excuse me. You used to stock a drink in the cooler. It was tea. It had no carbs.”

Me: “I’m sorry. We probably don’t have any more. Sometimes they cycle out drinks that don’t sell very well.”

Customer: “It was tea. It had no carbs.”

Me: “I think I know the one you’re thinking of. If it’s not in there, then we’re out. We have some iced tea brewed up if you would like to try that.”

Customer: “How do I know that it doesn’t have carbs?”

Me: “I brewed it myself. I can promise you that there are no carbs.”

Customer: “I want the other tea! You know that soda in there has 33 carbs! You should really stock more options for customers who don’t want to have so many carbs.”

Me: “I’d be happy to give you some of our iced tea, or some water.”

Customer: “Ugh! I don’t want any of that. I want the old tea.”

Me: “Sorry! Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Yes! I’ll have a large cookie.”

Raising Sheldon Cooper

| GA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Movies & TV

(I am the manager. We have a sweet customer who comes in once a week with her adorable toddler. The little girl is always very happy and people often comment on her. On this day, the customer is looking at detergent on an aisle we’re restocking.)

Coworker: “Your daughter is absolutely adorable.”

Customer: “Thank you.” *to daughter* “That nice man complimented you. Can you say ‘thank you’?”

Toddler: “BAZINGA!”

(Everyone in the nearby vicinity including the woman starts laughing.)

Customer: “She can’t say ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ that’s intelligible to anyone but me or my husband yet, but, somehow, that came out clear as day.”

Coworker: “Oh, my god. That was so funny. You just made my crappy day so much better!”

Customer: “Oh, well, I’m glad we could help! Say ‘bye bye,’ sweetie.”

Toddler: *blows a raspberry*

Customer: “Sorry, I’ve been trying to teach her that’s not nice. Can you wave ‘bye bye’?”

Toddler: “YAY!”

Customer: “Close enough. I hope she didn’t disrupt your work, guys, and I’m glad your day is getting better!”

(The customer grabs her detergent and they head off towards the deli.)

Coworker: “We should give her a gift card. She’s always awesome every time she comes in here.”

Me: “You’re right.”

(When the customer checked out, we had a $25 gift card waiting for her with BAZINGA written across the back. We could hear her laughing all the way out of the store. We love it when she comes in.)

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Greeting Sheldon Cooper