Wined And Dined And Fined

| Chicago, IL, USA | Right | January 27, 2014

(I wait tables at a popular Chicago Italian restaurant that gets a lot of traffic from Cubs fans on game day. Another waitress has a table full of young men who have come down from an affluent suburb to see the game. They’re very friendly, and charming, and drinking up a storm. She drops their check, and goes to serve another customer and comes back to find that they’ have ‘dined and dashed.’ We are required to cover our tickets, so she is now $100+ in the hole, and starts trying to pick up a later shift so she doesn’t lose money. A few other waiters head over to the bar where we usually go after our shifts. One comes back, bursting with excitement.)

Waiter: “Those guys who stiffed you are all drinking at the bar!”

(Our restaurant also happens to be a popular cop hangout. One of our regulars, a 6’9″ fierce-looking cop, who is sitting in the poor waitress’s station at that very moment, speaks up.)

Cop: “Can you take care of her tables for a moment?”

(The cop takes the waitress down the street to the bar, with several of us following to see the fun, and storms up to the group of young men.)

Cop: “Gentlemen, I believe you forgot to take care of something this evening.”

(Horrified, the young men frantically dig through their pockets and start throwing money at her. She ends up with a 50 percent tip!)

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Could Have Said Sunny Side Up

| Right | January 27, 2014

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5 Stories of Customers That Will DRIVE You Insane

| Not Always Right | Right | January 26, 2014

Weekly Roundup: 5 Stories of The Worst Drivers On The Road! It’s not just the headline-making celebrities who are causing mayhem on the roads. Our collections of customers could give them a decent run (or drive) for their money!

  1. Big Brother Is Not Watching You (1,341 thumbs up)
  2. Pre(Car)ious Insurance (2,442 thumbs up)
  3. Car Free And Care-Free (2,150 thumbs up)
  4. Policy No Evil, Speak No Evil (1,996 thumbs up)
  5. If Cars Could Run On Stupidity (2,011 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

The Whole Nine Yards Of Unreason

| GA, USA | Right | January 26, 2014

(Whilst having an indoor yard sale, I happen to have an open and hours sign from our old store, so I put them up. A customer in a rather nice car pulls up.)

Customer: “What kind of store is this?”

Me: ‘It’s a yard sale. I just happen to have the signs and thought they would be funny.”

Customer: “Oh… okay.”

(The customer proceeds to browse for a few minutes.)

Customer: “Is this used?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “How about this? Is this used?”

Me: “Yes…”

Customer: “WHAT NERVE DO YOU HAVE SELLING USED ITEMS? THIS IS THE WORST STORE I’VE BEEN TO!”

Me: “This is a yard sale. That’s generally how it works. People sell their used goods.”

Customer: “I’ve never heard of nonsense like that. Nobody wants someone’s used things. I’m reporting you to the Better Business Bureau!”

Me: “Go right ahead. Have a nice day.”

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Where Blow Dry Has Another Meaning

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Right | January 26, 2014

(I work at a shopping centre. A customer approaches the desk to ask for directions to a shop.)

Me: “Hi! How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. Where is ‘Hairhouse Whorehouse?’”

Me: “Um? Do you mean ‘Hairhouse Warehouse?’”

Customer: “…Oh, god! What did I just say?!”

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