Doesn’t Know Beans About Listening

| FL, USA | Right | June 4, 2014

(I work as a cashier in restaurant with a store attached. All purchases, either food or merchandise, are done through me. When a customer finishes their meal, they bring me a receipt to pay for their meal, along with any other things they feel like buying. Like many stores, we have an item we try to sell to every customer who comes through the line. Its currently jelly beans.)

Me: “Hello, sir! How are you today? Did [Server] take good care of you?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah. She was great.”

Me: “Is that everything for you today? Would you like to add on any jelly beans today? We have a bunch of different kinds, with just about every flavor.”

Customer: “Yes, please. Seven.”

Me: *shocked* “Seven, sir? Absolutely. which kind would you like? We have the regular 20 flavors, sour, ice cream, smoothie…”

(I proceed to list every bag I can think of.)

Customer: “What? No. I want to add seven.”

Me: “Yes, sir, but I need to know what kind you want.”

Customer: “What are you talking about? I. Want. To. Add. Seven.”

Me: “Seven what?!”

Customer: “DOLLARS.”

Me: “Sir, are you referring to a tip? You want to add seven dollars for your server?”

Customer: “Yes! What else would I be talking about?”

Me: “Well, sir, I had just asked if you would like to add any jelly beans to your purchase today…”

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To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 5

| Dallas, TX, USA | Right | June 4, 2014

(I am a customer in this story, standing next in line while the person ahead is being attended to.)

Cashier: “Okay, sir. Your total is [amount].”

Customer: “Fine.”

(The customer pauses and doesn’t move to get his wallet.)

Cashier: “Sir. Cash or credit?”

Customer: “What?”

Cashier: “I’m sorry. Are you paying with cash, check, or credit card today?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Cashier: “For your groceries, how would you like to pay for them?”

Customer: “I don’t get it. I only have a debit card.”

Cashier: “That’s fine. We accept debit as well. Just slide it through the machine here.”

Customer: “But it’s asking for a credit card. I don’t carry credit cards. People steal those all the time.”

Cashier: “Sir, the machine will take both credit and debit. I you just follow the prompts…”

Customer: “I don’t know. It’s asking for a credit card. I refuse to use one.”

Cashier: “I can 100% guarantee you, sir, that the machine will read your debit card. After you swipe your card, select ‘debit’ and you’ll be done.”

Customer: *motions to his groceries* “I can’t pay for these with a debit card. What kind of a business is this that doesn’t accept debit?”

Me: “Sir, I don’t mean to interrupt, but I shop here weekly. They do accept debit cards. Open your eyes and read the machine prompt. It clearly has a DEBIT option.”

Customer: “It says credit. I don’t have credit!”

Me: “It’s that green button on the right labeled DEBIT. If you can’t see it, then I don’t think anyone here can help you.”

(At this point the customer walks out and leaves eight full bags of groceries behind, muttering how confused he was that the store didn’t accept debit cards. The cashier has to load the bags into a cart and wait on another associate before ringing me up.)

Me: “That probably happens way more often than it really should.”

Cashier: “We have a pool going to see how high we can hit in a week. So far I’m at five and it’s only Wednesday.”

 

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Annoying Customers Are A Sure Thing

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Right | June 4, 2014

(We have a customer who always comes in looking for things to buy for wedding presents and then a week or two later would return them. She is a real time waster.)

Customer: “I need this in queen size. It’s for a wedding present.”

Me: “Have you looked on the lower shelf of the table? There might be one there.”

Customer: “You do it. I can’t bend.”

Me: *gets down to check* “No, sorry. There’s none here.”

Customer: *cocking her head sideways, with what she thinks is a cute look* “Are you sure?”

Me: “I’ll double check with someone else.” *to coworker* “Do we have any more of this design in queen?”

Coworker: *in full hearing of the customer* “No, and we can’t get anymore in. They are discontinued.”

Me: *turning to customer* “Sorry, we don’t have any left.”

Customer: *as always, with what she thinks is a cute look on her face, she cocks her head sideways* “Are you sure?”

Me: “You just heard me ask for you and heard the answer. Yes, I am sure.”

(After what seemed ages she finally bought something else and then two weeks later returned it. As usual, the recipient’s bed was the wrong size and she had already bought them something else.)

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Not In Good Company

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Right | June 4, 2014

(It’s my first week on the job, working in a retail store selling bed linen, table linen etc. I take a phone call.)

Caller: “I was in [different store] and they said you had covers for futons.”

Me: “I’ll just check for you.” *put the phone on hold, and turn to a coworker* “Do we have futon covers?”

Coworker: “No, but sometimes king sized quilt covers fit them.”

Me: *gets back on phone* “No, I’m sorry. We don’t have futon covers but we do have king sized quilt covers that might fit.”

Caller: “No, king quilt covers are too small for my futon and [different store] said that you would have them.”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. We don’t.”

Caller: “But [different store] said that you had them.”

Me: “They are mistaken. We don’t.”

Caller: “They said you had them.”

Me:  “No, we don’t. The closest thing we have is king sized quilt covers.”

Caller: “But [different store] said that you had them!”

Me: “Maybe you could ring them back.”

Caller: “Why?”

Me: “To ask them exactly where we keep them. They seem to know more about this shop than I do.”

Caller: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, they’ve told you that we, in a completely different company, have them and you believe them over me, who actually works in the company.”

Caller: “Oh, you don’t have any?”

Me: “No.”

Caller: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “Okay, bye.” *click*

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Lawless And Clueless

| FL, USA | Right | June 3, 2014

(I work as a receptionist at a retirement home.)

Resident #1: “I want you to call the police right away.”

Me: “Um. May I ask why?”

Resident #1: “I called for a taxi and it still isn’t here. I want the police to arrest the driver.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry about your wait but I don’t think the police should be involved with something like that.”

Resident #1: “I don’t care. I’m a very important person. I have connections. Call the police.”

Me: “Why don’t I call the taxi company to see where it is? I mean, it’s not like the driver can break traffic laws just to pick you up.”

Resident #1: “I am above the law. With one word I can get this whole company shut down. I can—”

Resident #2: *slowly walks up to desk with walker* “Is that your taxi outside?”

Resident #1: “Ah, yes. Goodbye.”

Resident #2: *waits until the first resident leaves* “What a b****.”

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