Bursting The American Bubble

| Knoxville, TN, USA | Bigotry, Geography, Language & Words

(There are two customers in line: the first customer is in her 20s, and the second customer is a middle-aged man. The first customer hands me her credit card.)

Me: “Ma’am, I need to see your ID.”

Customer #1: “Oh? Is that something new?”

Me: “Yeah, sorry for the inconvenience!”

Customer #1: “Oh, no! It’s totally fine. My driver’s license expired while I was in Reykjavik, though. I just got back; see. Will you take my passport?”

Me: “Oh, of course!”

(Customer #2 stomps up to us as Customer #1 is looking for it.)

Customer #2: “You mean to tell me that I’m having to stand in line and wait behind a foreigner? I’m an American! I demand you help me before helping her!”

(Customer #1 rolls her eyes and shows me her passport.)

Customer #1: “Will this work?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s fine.”

Customer #2: “No! Don’t help her! What country are you from, b****? Russia? Don’t help her! It’s people like her that are ruining this country!”

Customer #1: “Sir, I am an American. And even if I wasn’t, how dare you speak to me and this cashier in such a manner?”

Customer #2: “Liar! An American wouldn’t have a passport!”

Me: “Sir, if you’d looked at her passport, you’d see that it says USA all over it.”

Customer #2: *looks at Customer #1’s passport* “But… but that can’t be! She wouldn’t use a passport if she’s a native American!”

Me: “Right. She’s really from Italy; she just likes to draw random eagles all over her passport. Now where are you from, sir? I’m sure this lady would like to know, so she can be sure never to visit.”

(Customer #2 leaves in a huff, threatening to call the manager and corporate.)

Customer #1: *sighs* “Is your manager here?”

Me: “Oh, yeah. Do you need to talk to him?”

Customer #1: “Please.”

(I get the manager, and he and Customer #1 have a conversation. I go back to work. The manager comes back a few minutes later and drops a $20 in the tip jar.)

Me: “What is that?”

Manager: “From the customer I was talking to. She said she wanted to be sure you didn’t get in trouble for standing up for her and thought you deserved a tip.”

Young Customers Themed Giveaway Roundup

Not Always Right | Roundups, Theme Of The Month

Young Customers Themed Giveaway Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

  1. Sea Of Electricity (2,676 thumbs up)
  2. The Bald And The Beautiful (2,403 thumbs up)
  3. Ballerina Rex (2,249 thumbs up)
  4. Although He Uses A Lot Of Ranch (2,609 thumbs up)
  5. Polite Touch (2,607 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

A Bad Case Of The Mondays

| UK | Funny Names, Health & Body, Top

(I’m working the reception at a physiotherapist’s office. A patient enters. She’s looking a little stressed.)

Patient: “Hi, I’ve got a prescription at [time].”

Me: “Uh… a prescription?”

Patient: *shakes her head* “No, I meant… an appointment. An appointment at uh… ten to… quarter… Mr. [Name], no… [Other Name]… oh for crying out loud!”

(She stops abruptly, turns around and walks out. I sit there a little stunned. Then the door opens and she comes back in.)

Patient: “Good morning. I’ve got an appointment to see Mr. [Name] at [time].”

Me: “Ah yes, there you are. Just go take a sheep—”

(I stop, embarrassed. The patient smiles.)

Patient: “Monday mornings, right?”