When Your Day Hits A High Note

| Canada | Awesome Customers, Musical Mayhem, Top

(I have just calmly resolved the issue with an order.)

Caller: “Can I sing for you?”

Me: *not knowing what to expect* “Sure, why not?”

(Surprisingly, the caller proceeded to sing the most beautiful rendition of ‘Smile’ by Nat King Cole. It was so beautiful, I even asked a coworker to come over and listen with me. When the customer was done crooning, I had goosebumps. This definitely made my week and made me SMILE!)

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Pretty Fly For A Strange Guy

| Columbus, OH, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

Customer: “Excuse me, miss, look what I found in my drink.”

(He holds a dead fly up. I have no idea how it got in his drink, but I’m mortified.)

Me: “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! Let me find my manager for you.”

Customer: “Nah, it’s okay. I drank it all and it’s no big deal.” *laughs*

Me: “That’s really nice of you, sir, but I do want to tell my manager about it. This sort of thing is not supposed to happen.”

(The customer keeps holding the fly in his hand. I go looking for my manager but can’t find him. I don’t want to keep the customer waiting for their check forever, so I go back to the table.)

Me: “I’m so sorry, I couldn’t find him, but as soon as I see him I’ll make sure to tell him about this. But here’s a coupon for your next visit, and I took the drinks off your check.”

Customer: *smiling* “Thanks! But really, it’s no big deal. It’s kind of funny. Hey, look who’s not dead after all?” *holds up the fly, which is now squirming* “Ain’t he cute?”

(He suddenly smashes the fly on the table, wipes his now fly-gut covered hand on my apron, and leaves.)

Never Again

| Queens, NY, USA | Awesome Customers, History, Top

(I often go to a diner near my apartment that’s popular with bikers, who are as a rule, very courteous customers. However, the number of motorcycles out front often attracts a crowd of what the regulars call ‘wannabes’. These are people with new motorcycles and flashy tattoos that just want to show off.)

Customer #1: *showing his friends his arm* “Look at this tat, man. Knife through the heart, and then through an eye. I wanted to show that I’m tough and all, but I wanted something new, so I asked him to add the eyeball.”

Customer #2: “I got an eye, too. It’s on the palm of my hand. Like the monster from that maze movie.”

Customer #3: “Aw, man. I could never get anything on my hand. That’s gotta hurt like s***.”

Regular: *to himself* “P***y.”

(Unfortunately, the three overhear. They jump up and surround the man.)

Customer #2: “What, you think you’re so tough? You think your tats are so bada** , huh?”

(This particular customer is in fact ‘so tough’. He looks old, but he’s a retired police officer.)

Regular: “At least my tattoos have some kind of meaning to them.” *rolling up his sleeve, pointing to tattoos* “Dead kid. Took a gang off the street. Arson.”

Customer #1: “You murdered a kid?!”

Regular: “Nope. Showed up when somebody else did.” *rolling up his other sleeve to reveal a badge tattoo* “Because of this.”

(Realizing he’s a former policeman, the wannabe customers recoil.)

Customer #3: “Pig!”

Regular: “If I still had my nightstick I’d—”

(Suddenly, the owner’s elder mother appears.)

Elderly Mother: “Ruhe!” *all four turn to stare at her* “Well, that’s what they used to say to us if we made a fuss about our tattoos, you know.”

Customer #2: “You got a tattoo, lady? What is it, a ball of yarn?”

(With that, the mother rolls up her sleeve to reveal a concentration camp tattoo.)

Elderly Mother: “No, just a number.”

Customer #1: “What does that even—”

(Customer #2 suddenly realizes what the tattoo means. He immediately drops some cash on the table, grabs his wannabe friends, and heads out the door at a breakneck pace. The regular? He sits there for about ten minutes staring at his own tattoos, before finally finishing his food and leaving… but not before leaving behind a hundred dollar tip.)

Weekly Roundup: Black Friday & The Holidays

Not Always Right | Roundups

Black Friday & The Holidays! This week, we feature five stories about every employee’s nightmare (at least in the U.S.): Black Friday and the winter holiday shopping season!

  1. Ask And Ye Shall Receive (5,285 Thumbs Up)
    Customer wants to pay for an empty display box? CUSTOMER GETS EMPTY DISPLAY BOX!
  2. Overlord PX53A-Z Is Not Pleased (4,261 Thumbs Up)
    Ever since the Robot Rebellions of 2025, customer service hasn’t been the same.
  3. Rated I For Immature (1,198 Thumbs Up)
    An impatient video game customer gets a lesson on maturity!
  4. Not Quite As Provocative As I Recall (1,225 Thumbs Up)
    Wanna silence a chaotic Black Friday crowd? Just ask for a Totally Inappropriate Elmo.
  5. Because Everything On The Internets Is Private (2,931 Thumbs Up)
    Asking what’s on sale on Black Friday is like… asking what’s on sale on Black Friday!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

The Situation Is Escalating

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

(Our down escalator is stopped for repairs, but customers are free to walk down it. There is also a clearly marked elevator near me as well as a staircase.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss, do you work here?”

Me: “Yes. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Your escalator has stopped.”

Me: “I am sorry about that. It should be fixed soon.”

Customer: “So, am I stuck up here?”

Me: “…Sorry?”

Customer: “Do I have to wait here until it is fixed?”

Me: “Of course not. You can go anytime. We won’t hold you hostage.”

Customer: “But the escalator is broken.”

Me: “Yes, and we are sorry for the inconvenience.”

Customer: “How do I get down stairs?”

(At this point, we can both clearly see other customers walking down the broken escalator.)

Me: “Well, you are allowed to walk down the escalator, but if you feel uncomfortable with that, you can take the elevator or stairs behind me.”

Customer: “Well, when do you think it will be fixed?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I really don’t know. They don’t tell us that much about what is happening in the store.”

Customer: “I want to see a manager!”

Me: “Let me call one down for you.”

Customer: “What is your name?!”

(My coworkers have come to watch, and are trying not to laugh. Other customers have begun to laugh.)

Me: “My name is [name].”

(I call the manager, she comes down, and tells the customer the same thing I said.)

Customer: “Well, this place is trash!”

(Believe it or not, she found a chair and sat there for an hour until the escalator was fixed!)

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