He Has The Floor Model But His Wife Has The Floor

| Right | January 1, 2014

Beware Of The Dumb A**

| Right | January 1, 2014

DUMBASS2

Outraged Holiday Hours

| Right | January 1, 2014

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Christmas Day Meets Groundhog Day

| St. Catharines, ON, Canada | Right | January 1, 2014

(It is a very busy Sunday afternoon in the store. One of our staff is late due to bad weather and a dead car battery, so we are all rushed off our feet. I take a call.)

Me: “[Store Name]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes. Hi. Do you have any sales going on with your Christmas dresses?”

Me: “I’m afraid not, ma’am. There are no dresses on sale at the moment.”

Caller: “How much are the dresses you have?”

Me: “They range from $30 to $50, depending on the dress. But, we might be having a 40 percent off sale later this week. If you’d like to, call back then and check the dresses at that point.”

Caller: “So, what sale do you have for your dresses right now? I want one just above the knee.”

Me: “Well, most of our dresses fall just above the knee, ma’am. Like I said, we have no dresses on sale today, but we might have them on sale later this week.”

Caller: “I’m going to a holiday party, you see, and I need a dress that falls above the knee.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I understand. If you check back in a few days you might be able to get a dress for 40 percent off.”

Caller: *finally clues in* “40 percent off you say? So what price would the dresses be then?”

Me: “It would depend on the dress, ma’am. As I said, they range from $30 to $50.”

Caller: “Oh, so how much would the $50 dollar dress be? I’m going to a holiday party and need a dress above the knee. You don’t have any dresses on sale today? Do you?”

Me: *facepalm*

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A Triple Rainbow Of Christmas

| Wollongong, NSW, Australia | Right | January 1, 2014

(It’s the week before Christmas. We are run off our feet helping people choose gifts to buy. A customer rushes into the store.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I’m looking for something for someone. What do you think?”

Me: “Um… Who was it you were buying for?”

Customer: “Oh, my daughter. I think she married badly. You know what it’s like when they go and do that.”

Me: “What sort of thing were you looking for? Clothing? Jewellery?”

(The customer starts flouncing around the store picking up random items. She turns with a necklace in hand.)

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know! Just something nice. I like this! It has rainbows! I like rainbows! Do you think she’ll like it?”

Me: “I don’t know your daughter, ma’am. If you think it’s her taste, it’s on sale at the moment.”

Customer: “I don’t know! I just want something. I like rainbows!”

(She proceeds to flounce around the store picking up anything ‘rainbow.’)

Customer: “Do you think she’ll like it? I like rainbows! Rainbows might make her happy!”

Me: *aware of several other people waiting for me* “It’s a perfect choice. I think she will like it.”

Customer: “I don’t know! I just want something… something nice. I like rainbows!”

Related:
A Triple Rainbow Of Pens

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