Mad As A Bull In A China Shop

| Long Island, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(At our china shop, we’re having our biggest sale of the year. This requires me to manually lower the prices on items. I’m dealing with an incredibly rude and snappy customer, who is causing quite a line to build up behind her.)

Customer: “That was supposed to be $4.97, NOT $9.99!”

Me: “I know ma’am, that’s why I’m adjusting the price. See?”

(This continues until the grumpy customer has been completely rung up. She then returns a few minutes later, receipt in hand.)

Customer: “You charged me $10.99 for this plate! The sign outside says $6.97!”

Me: “I’m sorry, the owner keeps marking down prices, and as the lower price wasn’t on your item, I didn’t realize it should have been less. Here, give me your receipt and card and I’ll refund you the difference.”

Customer: “Well, you should know all the prices and be more careful! This place always rips me off!”

Me: “Here’s your receipt. I’ve credited your account. Can I have the next customer, please?”

Customer: *suddenly pleasant tone* “Thank you so much!”

(I help the next customer.)

Customer: “I really appreciate it!” *in a more aggravated tone* “Good luck with the sale!” *even more upset* “Keep smiling!” *yelling on her way out the door* “HAVE A SPARKLING DAY!”

Ceiling Cat Is Watching You

| USA | Pets & Animals

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi there, my name is Charlie—”

Customer: “Charlie’s a boy’s name! You’re a girl!”

Me: “Yes, sir. Anyway, I’m calling from [company name] to talk to you about the new security system we’re offering.”

Customer: “I don’t need it.”

Me: “Are you sure? It’s really nifty and it has all sorts of special features if you’d allow me to describe them.”

Customer: “Nah. I’ve got my girlfriend’s cat.”

Me: “A…cat, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah. Any time anyone comes in the house, he won’t leave them alone until they feed him. He’s really cute, but it’s the most irritating thing ever. They’d get annoyed and leave!”

Don’t Mess With Employees, Part 2

Not Always Right | Roundups, Wild & Unruly

Don’t Mess With Employees, Part 2! This week, we return with part two of the roundup that started it all: teaching misbehaving customers the consequences of messing with employees!

  1. Why Barkeeps Should Rule The World (6,011 thumbs up)
    A cheap patron asks a stupid question and gets a priceless answer!
  2. Scamming In Plain Sight (4,764 thumbs up)
    The only damage this scamming customer will get is to his wallet.
  3. Coming To A Theater Near You: Gangsta Ushers (2,937 thumbs up)
    A thieving movie customer gets the show of a lifetime!
  4. Don’t Mess With The Candyland Gang (1,794 thumbs up)
    What do a Fairy, Santa Clause, and a six-foot Snowman have in common?
  5. Choose Your Battles (3,653 thumbs up)
    A violent video game customer learns it’s best not to wrestle with wrestlers!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Adamant, If A Bit Addled

| Cartersville, GA, USA | Extra Stupid

(I’m a fuel clerk at a large chain grocery store’s gas station. One evening a morbidly obese redneck woman was having trouble getting her pump to work. She wanted to get a fuel injection cleaner (additech) added into her gasoline, but had no clue what she was doing. After swiping a credit card, the pump’s computer screen automatically asks the customer if they want to buy additech. The conversation went like this.)

Me: “Hey, how are you doing today?”

Customer: *mouth full of tobacco* “I wanna get some of that Additech stuff!”

Me: “Alright, after swiping your card the pump will ask if you want to purchase Additech. Press ‘Yes.’ Since you are driving a truck, you will select the $9.99 price by pressing the ‘2’ key on the screen.”

Customer: “I wanna get me some of that Additech stuff!”

Me: “I understand, ma’am. Please just swipe your card and follow the prompts.”

Customer: “I WANNA GET SOME F***ING ADDITECH STUFF!” *spits out a glob of tobacco* “Why the f*** won’t you get me some of that f***ing Additech stuff?!”

Me: “Ma’am, please calm down. Would you like me to show you how?”

(Frustrated, the customer begins yelling to the other customers in line.)

Customer: “I’m not retarded! He said I’m retarded!”

Me: “Ma’am, let me show you.”

(I walk out to the pump, swipe her card, and as predicted the Additech screen comes up. I set her pump up, and she fills her truck. Afterwards, I come back to my register. A minute later, Ms. Additech comes back.)

Customer: “What is Additech anyway? DOES IT MAKE YOUR CAR GO BETTER?!”

Zuck Makes Us All Look Like Schmucks

| Sonoma, California, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Are you the owner?”

Me: “Me?”

Customer: “Yeah!”

Me: *laughs* “No, sir, I’m 17. I’m just a server.”

Customer: “So!? Age doesn’t matter! That one Facebook guy was like 16, and he’s a billionaire!”

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