Used And Useless

| MT, USA | Right | June 15, 2014

(A customer is coming through my line with a series of energy drinks and several bags of chips. He is also holding a game with a receipt. I figure that he bought it in our game department.)

Me: “Oh, [Game]! I have been waiting for that to go on sale. It looks like a good game.”

Customer: “It’s okay. I finished the game in like a day though.”

(I’m puzzled by this, as he is holding the game.)

Me: “Really? Huh.”

Customer: “Yeah. I just tried to return it. It was too short. I can’t believe you guys didn’t take it back.”

Me: “So you bought a game and tried to return it because you finished it?”

Customer: “I was really dissatisfied after I finished it. Do you know where I can take it to return it? Or do I have to file a complaint or something?”

Me: “Well, it’s now a used game… so, [Used Game Store]?”

Customer: “They’ll only give me used game price.”

(We stand there for 10 minutes while he tries to grasp the concept of returns. He leaves in a huff. After, my boss comes over.)

Boss: “Did that just happen?”

Me: “Doesn’t it always?”

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5 Stories Of Soccer Silliness

Not Always Right | Right | June 15, 2014

Weekly Roundup: 5 Stories Of Soccer Silliness With the World Cup now in full swing, enjoy these samples of the sport driving customers (and employees!) crazy:

  1. The Not-So-Difficult Art Of Misdirection (3,812 thumbs up)
  2. The (Brain) Damage Has Already Been Done (4,369 thumbs up)
  3. The UK Is Football Mecca (1,452 thumbs up)
  4. Perspiring & Persistent (2,573 thumbs up)
  5. A Man Needs His Nectar (2,562 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

5 Stories Of Soccer Silliness

| Not Always Right | Right | June 15, 2014

Weekly Roundup: 5 Stories Of Soccer Silliness With the World Cup now in full swing, enjoy these samples of the sport driving customers (and employees!) crazy:

  1. The Not-So-Difficult Art Of Misdirection (3,812 thumbs up)
  2. The (Brain) Damage Has Already Been Done (4,369 thumbs up)
  3. The UK Is Football Mecca (1,452 thumbs up)
  4. Perspiring & Persistent (2,573 thumbs up)
  5. A Man Needs His Nectar (2,562 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Knowledge On Fizzy Is Fuzzy, Part 2

, | Williamston, MI, USA | Right | June 14, 2014

(I’m a manager at a fast food restaurant. It’s a little past six am, and we have just opened, when the phone rings.)

Me: “This is [Store]. How may I help you?”

(The caller sounds like a teenage girl.)

Caller: “Hi! Um… so… I was wondering… Do you have any pop without fizz?”

Me: “Well, we have Orange HiC, Frutopia, and Powerade. Those are all of the fountain drinks that don’t have fizz.”

Caller: “But don’t you have any POP without fizz?”

Me: “No ma’am, I’m sorry. We don’t.”

Caller: “Well, couldn’t you just… take the fizz out?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m sorry. I don’t really have a way of doing that. It comes out of the fountain that way.”

Caller: “But, aren’t the syrup and the fizz separate? Couldn’t you make it come out without the fizz?”

Me: “I don’t believe so.”

Caller: “Well, couldn’t you try?”

Me: “I don’t think so. I’d be messing with a lot of equipment that I’m not really qualified to operate, and I wouldn’t want to break anything.”

Caller: “Oh. Well, that’s very disappointing.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Caller: “Yes! Can I get a burger?”

Me: “Yes, if you come into the store and order one.”

Caller: “Oh. I could come in right now and get one? It isn’t breakfast or something?”

Me: “Well, yes, we do serve breakfast until 11 am. I just meant that I can’t take your order or give you food over the phone; if you want to order food, you’d need to come up to the store and order it in person.”

Caller: “But you’re on breakfast until 11 am?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Caller: “Oh. Well… thanks… I guess…”

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Caller: “No, I guess not.”

Me: “All right! Thank you for calling. Have a great day!”

Caller: “Bye!”

Me: *bursts out laughing*

Coworker: “What the heck was that about?”

Me: “Either that was one of the most entertaining prank calls I’ve ever gotten, or… Well, I don’t want to think about it if she was actually serious!”

 

Marrying Together Archaic Ideas

| Australia | Right | June 14, 2014

(I have a long-time repeat client, old but quite nice. As I am finishing up going through the paperwork and vouchers for his identical biannual holiday with his wife, I inform him I won’t be able to assist with his next trip as I’d be on maternity leave but I’ll pass his file over to my manager and she’ll be quite happy to assist.)

Client: *blank look* “But you’re not… married.”

Me: “Well… no…?”

Client: “How can you be going on maternity leave, then?”

Me: “Because I’m having a baby?”

Client: But you’re not MARRIED?!”

Me: “Uh, I know, but I appear to be pregnant and as I am having a child I need maternity leave…”

Client: “BUT. YOU’RE. NOT. MARRIED. How can you be PREGNANT?”

(Every week for the next seven months he came into my office, sat in front of me, and implored me to go and get married, to anyone – maybe that man over there? – because I needed to be married to have a child. Well, I have a child and I’m still not married. Occasionally he goes back into my old store and asks if I’m married yet.)

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