Polly Want A Manner

| Israel | Awesome Customers, Pets & Animals

(A man walks in with a parrot sitting on his shoulder.)

Customer: “Hello!”

Me: “Hi!”

Customer: “I would like one bun with sunflower seeds!”

Me: “Here you go.”

(The customer pays and takes the bun. He then takes off the sunflower seeds and feeds them to his parrot.)

Me: *laughing* “Bon appetite!”

Customer: “Thank you!” *to the parrot* “Say thank you!”

Parrot: “Thank you.”

Me: “You’re very welcome!”

((The customer leaves, still feeding the seeds to his parrot. A few minutes later he comes back with the bun, which is now completely seed free.)

Customer: “Do you have a trash can? I don’t need it any more.”

Me: “Ah… sure, give it here.”

Customer: “Very good! Goodbye!” *to the parrot* “Say goodbye to the girl!”

Parrot: “Bye bye!”

(They both leave, having seriously made my day.)

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A Thick Slice Of Humble Pie

| Tempe, AZ, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I am a waitress at a well-known restaurant chain. It is during the holidays. We have a run on pecan pie this afternoon, so I don’t have any ready yet. This takes place after a table of three has finished their meal.)

Me: “Would you guys like any desert? We have a lovely selection of pies.”

Customer #1: “What do you have?”

(I list the several kinds of pie we have available.)

Customer #2: “Oh, I’ll have the chocolate cream.”

Customer #1: “Pumpkin, please.”

Customer #3: “Do you have any pecan pie?”

Me: “Not right now. We had a lot of people wanting pecan today, but I can start one thawing for you. It’ll take about 10 minutes.”

Customer #3: “Never mind, then.”

Me: “Sorry, I have other pies. Would you like one of those?”

Customer #3: “No.”

(I leave and bring out the two pies and the bill, asking them if that was all. They said yes. In ten minutes, I look in on them again.)

Me: “How was everything?”

Customers #1 & #2: “Great.”

Customer #3: “Where’s my pecan pie?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I thought you said ‘Never mind.’ I can have it out to you in a few minutes, though.”

Customer #3: *irritated* “Never mind, then!”

Me: “Are you sure, sir?”

Customer #3: *sighs* “Yes.”

Me: “Sorry about that. You guys have a good day, though.”

(I leave them and go over to the register because a banquet party of 70+ people are waiting to cash out. Customer #3 comes over to the register to cash out, so I tell him it’ll be a moment because of the line. Instead, he speaks to my manager who happens to be right behind me.)

Customer #3: *angrily, to my manager* “I never got my pie!”

Manager: “I’m so sorry, sir.” *turns to me* “Hey, why didn’t he get his pie?”

(I explain the whole thing.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir. There seemed to have been some confusion. I can take the pie off your bill.”

Me: “It was never on there because he never ordered it.”

Customer #3: “I want a discount!”

Manager: “For a pie you never ordered? It’s not on your bill. If it were on your bill, I could take it off.”

Customer #3: “She is a stupid waitress! I wanted pie! I never got it! I want my meal free!”

Manager: “And why would I give you a free meal because of a misunderstanding over a pie you never ordered?”

Customer #3: “BECAUSE THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!”

Manager: *firmly* “No. Sometimes the customer is very wrong! Please pay your bill as it stands, or I call the cops and you can explain to them why you’re always right, and shouldn’t go to jail over a piece of pie you never ordered.”

(Customer #3 blushes, pays, and all but runs out leaving his friends to stammer their apologies.)

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Kids Will Send Any Parent To The Funny Pharm

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I am taking a refill order over the phone.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [pharmacy]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I need to refill a couple of prescriptions. This one I have the number for.”

(She proceeds to give me the number, and while I am running the prescription through her insurance I hear some kids playing in the background.)

Me: “Okay, so that one went through just fine. What is the next one?”

Customer: “I don’t have the number, but can you look it up for me? It’s my birth control.”

(I look in the customer’s file and sure enough it’s there. But while I am running it, the playing in the background has turned into a serious screaming and fighting match.)

Customer: *embarrassed* “And this is why I am refilling the birth control. Can’t you tell?”

Best Just To Let It Slide

| UK | Extra Stupid

(I work on the rides at a small theme park. We swap round every so often because you’d go mad working in the same place all day. To reach the top of the water slide, we have to go up the same way the customers do. Ideally, customers should queue either side of the ramp, one queue for each of the two types of slides as indicated by the signs, then we’d walk up the space in the middle. It’s not always that easy, though.)

Me: “Excuse me, please.”

(As I walk up the space in the middle, most customers move to the side when they turn and see I’m in uniform. One woman, however, appears to ignore me.)

Me: “Sorry, excuse me please.”

Customer: “There’s a queue.”

Me: “Yes, I know; I work here. Sorry about the wait. It shouldn’t take long from here. If I could just squeeze past?”

Customer: “No! You can wait like everyone else. So rude. Trying to push in!” *begins ranting*

(The customer’s husband turns around to see what his wife is ranting about and starts laughing.)

Customer’s Husband: “Hun, let her past.”

Customer: “What? No way!”

Customer’s Husband: “Well, we’re not going to get very far if you don’t. She’s the one that’s operating the ride.”

Customer: *turns around, goes bright red, and steps out of my way*

(I laugh and thank her husband before carrying on. She looked quite embarrassed to see me operating the water slide by the time it got to her go!)

Unloading More Than Just Shopping

| AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Musical Mayhem, Top

(A customer is singing ‘Call Me Maybe’ really loud and obnoxiously while unloading items. I’m in line behind her. People behind me are complaining. The owner sneaks up behind her.)

Customer: “Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy…”

Owner: “…but you’re in my store, so SHUT UP MAYBE!”

(I will shop there for the rest of my life!)

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