Creepy Customers Themed Of The Month Roundup

Not Always Right | Right | May 11, 2014

Creepy Customers Themed Of The Month Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

  1. Fortune Favors The Foretold (1,590 thumbs up)
  2. Like A Dog After A Bone (1,862 thumbs up)
  3. Stripped Of His Confidence (1,354 thumbs up)
  4. They Have Incompatible Operating Systems (1,400 thumbs up)
  5. This Caller Has No Hang Ups (1,445 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Not What The Doctor Ordered

| MO, USA | Right | May 10, 2014

(In one week we are hosting a benefit dinner to set up a scholarship fund helping underprivileged kids go to summer camp. It is my job to take reservations, which have been closed for a week. I take a phone call.)

Me: “[Business]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes. This is Doctor [Name]. I would like three tickets to the dinner.”

Me: “Well, unfortunately ticket sales closed a week ago. We had to give final numbers to the caterer and—”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. I’m a doctor and I know the speaker. She and my daughter went to college together.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but the speaker knew when ticket sales closed and she never mentioned—”

Customer: “But I’m a doctor! And I know the speaker!”

Me: “Congratulations, ma’am. But we’ve turned the numbers in—”

Customer: “You’ll just have to tell them you have three more guests. What time is the dinner? We will be coming.”

Me: “I can’t—”

Customer: “You will tell them. I know the speaker.”

Me: *sigh* “I will talk to our director and see what I can do but—”

Customer: “Good. My name is Doctor [Name] and I know the speaker.”

(The caller proceeds to give me all of her contact information. I talk to my boss a few hours later and she reluctantly agrees to sell tickets to the woman because we ordered more meals than necessary for this exact reason. I am getting ready to call the woman back when the phone rings and I answer it.)

Customer: “This is Doctor [Name] and you said you would talk to your— whoever it is —and make sure we get tickets. We will be coming. I know the speaker.”

Me: *sigh* “Yes, ma’am. We have extra plates available and we have your name on the reservation list for three tickets.”

Customer: “Good. See, this is how you treat a doctor. Now, what is my discount for knowing the speaker?”

Me: “You don’t get a discount.”

Customer: “Of course I do; I’m a doctor and I know the speaker.”

Me: “Ma’am, everyone pays the same ticket price. We have everyone from doctors, engineers, nurses, janitors, and camp counselors coming to this dinner and they all reserved their seats before the deadline and are all paying the same ticket price. Your total is [total].”

Customer: “Ugh! Fine! But I won’t give you people a dime more for whatever it is you’re doing, you hear me?”

Me: “Yes, doctor.”

(She was just as rude and egotistical when I met her in person, still making sure to let me know she was a doctor and more important than anyone. And she made good on her promise to not give anything to the scholarship fund for children.)

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Total Nincompoop

| Russellville, AR, USA | Right | May 10, 2014

(I work in a restaurant as a teenager. The restroom is crowded and I’m in a stall when all leave except two young girls. Girl #1 is in a stall and Girl #2 is waiting by the sinks.)

Girl #1: “Is everyone gone?”

Girl #2: *apparently hasn’t noticed me* “Yeah, they left.”

Girl #1: “Oh good. Now I can poop.”

(I take that as my cue to flush and wash my hands, trying not to laugh at the sudden awkward silence. As I open the door to leave I say:)

Me: “Okay. Now you can poop.”

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Her Bargaining Power Has Gone To The Dogs

| WI, USA | Right | May 9, 2014

(I work at a pet store that sells puppies. A very angry customer comes in to buy a Boston terrier.)

Customer: “This place is filthy! You only have sick dogs!”

Me: “We are very proud of our sanitation standards as well as the fact that we have not had an outbreak of a major illness in over five years.”

Customer: “Hmph! Well, then I’m going to have to have some cosmetic surgery done on the dog because I don’t like this feature the dog has.”

Me: “Uh, well, these are natural features, and pose no health risk.

Customer: “I still demand the price of the puppy dropped down.

Me: “Our prices are already very fair. Especially when everything comes with the puppy, even the microchip and the vaccinations.”

Customer: “I demand to see the manager!”

(The manager comes over and the situation is explained. Eventually, the customer makes an ultimatum.)

Customer: “I will be out the door with the puppy for $800 or with nothing!”

(It is then we all realize that the customer has not actually established what the price of the puppy actually is, which is just $600. For all her yelling and harassment of the staff, she was very nice after the manager changed the price to $800.)

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Rage Against The Machine, Part 3

| USA | Right | May 9, 2014

(I have finished ringing up a customer’s purchase when he is paying with a debit card at the card reader. My computer tells me the customer clicked the ‘cancel’ button on the machine.)

Me: “Sir, please re-slide your card and press the green button for credit.”

Customer: *to his wife* “They should make these things all work the same way.”

Customer’s Wife: “Honey, it says right there to press the green button for credit.”

Customer: “I shouldn’t be expected to read that.”

Related:
Rage Against The Machine, Part 2
Rage Against The Machine

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