She Has A Real Problem

| FL, USA | Bigotry, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I am at my regular grocery store at the checkout. The bagger is a sweet man with a mental disability, who is carefully bagging my items.)

Bagger: “You want this one?”

(He holds up one of my canvas bags, which I see has a hole in it.)

Me: “No, use another. Thanks.”

Woman behind me: “God! Hurry it up!”

Me: “I just finished paying. He’s fine.”

Woman behind me: “Oh, so you’re slow like him too? God all you special people need to stop interfering with normal people.”

Bagger: *looks offended* “Ma’am, she’s not not-smart. She goes to [University].” *points to my university logo on my sweatpants* “She’s real smart.”

Me: “And he’s the best bagger here! He’s very careful, ma’am, which is a good thing with groceries.”

(My bags are done. Since he knows I walk back to my dorm, the bagger just hands them to me and helps me shoulder them.)

Woman behind me: “God, he won’t even help you take them to your car? What a delinquent. I want to see a manager about this!”

Me: “I walk, lady. You want to call a manager over something I have intentionally asked him to do many times?”

Bagger: *to me* “Have a nice day!”

Woman behind me: “Retard.”

(The cashier, who hasn’t said a word through the whole thing, looks at the woman calmly.)

Cashier: “Refusal of service for massive discrimination towards a valued employee, as well as a regular customer. You may leave your items here; we’ll shelve them later. Please leave.”

(She instead decides to cause a massive disturbance, eventually breaking a shelf, and needing to be physically restrained while the bagger leads me and another customer behind the cigarette counter for our safety. We have to wait for a cop to come.)

Bagger: “Still… coming next week?” *he looks worried*

Me: “Yep.”

(His smile made me really happy for the rest of the day.)

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Oblivious To The Obvious

| UT, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Money

Me: “Hi, this is [name]from [insurance company]. I’m calling because your policy cancelled for non-payment of premium.”

Client: “Again?! This happens every month! It’s not my fault though. Can you tell them it’s not my fault?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Client: “See, each time my payment has been due, I’ve been in jail. My probation officer is an a**. Every time I do something illegal he throws me in jail. Every single time!”

Me: “I can set you up on automatic withdrawal from your bank just in case.”

Client: “No, I rarely have money. How can I avoid this happening again in the future?”

Me: “Pay your bill on time?”

Client: “But, what about the jail thing?”

Me: “Um… stop breaking the law?”

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And The Children Shall (Eat) Lead

| Scotland, UK | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

(We stock painted mediaeval knight figurines. However, they have removable weapons and are painted with lead paint, so they’re all kept on a high shelf out of the reach of children. Just to be safe, there are signs next to the figures stating that they are not safe for children. One day, I see a small boy gnawing on a William Wallace figure’s head, so I rush over and snatch it off him.)

Mother: “How dare you! That was very rude!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am. It’s just that this is not a toy, and is painted with lead paint. It’s not safe for him to be playing with, and definitely not safe to chew.”

Mother: “What?! It shouldn’t have been within his reach! What kind of death-trap store is this?!”

Me: “I’m so, so sorry, ma’am. Another customer must have moved it. I ought to have spotted it sooner. ”

(I’m feeling guilty, until the kid pipes up.)

Kid: “Mommy, I was quiet! You said I could have it if I was quiet!”

Me: “Ma’am, you didn’t give this to your child, did you?”

Mother: “How was I supposed to know it was dangerous?”

Me: “Ma’am, there are distinct signs all around the figurines.” *I point to the four signs posted around the figures* “Also, they’re kept well out of the reach of children for exactly that reason.”

Mother: “I don’t have time to read f***ing signs! They shouldn’t have been in my reach either!”

Me: “I agree completely, ma’am.”

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A Pricing One-Eighty On His 360

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I am ringing up a customer purchasing a mildly anticipated videogame.)

Me: “Before I start ringing these up, would you happen to have your [store name] rewards card with you?”

Customer: “No, I don’t even have one! Those are just a way for you to get more money out of me!”

Me: “Actually, we offer the basic version for free. If you would like to sign up now all you have to do is—”

Customer: “I said no, godd*** it!”

Me: “Alright, sir. No problem. I’ll just ring these up then.”

(The customer is buying a used Xbox 360, and five or so games. It takes me a few minutes to grab the Xbox and games from the back, as the ones on display are empty to prevent theft.)

Me: “Okay, would you like to put $10 down on a pre-order for any games?”

Customer: “No! Just hurry it up!”

Me: “Alright your total is $210.67.”

Customer: “I told you earlier I only wanted to spend $200 on this.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. You will have to put one of these games back or trade one for a cheaper one. The used versions are always cheaper and work just as well as the new ones.”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand! I want to spend $200 on this stuff.”

(This goes on for a few minute, until he finally decides to exchange one of the games for a cheaper one.)

Me: “Alright your total is $183.43.”

Customer: “Are you stupid?! I only want to spend $200!”

Me: *gives up* “Okay, your total is now $200 dollars.”

Customer: “Finally!”

(He hands me the money, grabs his items, and leaves without his receipt. I felt it would be wrong to keep the money, so I gave about half off the price for the next nice customer.)

Riding In On Blazing Saddles

| Marlborough, MA, USA | Money, Movies & TV

(A man comes into my store looking a bit irate. He pulls out an unwrapped DVD case of Mel Brooks’ “History of the World, Part I.”)

Customer: “I’d like to return this and get my money back!”

Me: “Was there something wrong with it?”

Customer: “I opened it up and there was no disc inside!”

(I open the DVD case to indeed find no disc inside.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t refund your money. This is something you’d need to take up with the manufacturer. This does happen rarely, but I can help get the contact info for the manufacturer if you’d like.”

Customer: “What!? Are you serious!? I want to talk to a manager!”

(My manager comes over and explains the same thing to him, how it’s outside of our policy to refund an item if there is no item to refund. The customer finally accepts this, but is livid.)

Customer: “Fine! Well, do you have History of the World, Part II then?”

Me: “Um… sir, that movie doesn’t exist.”

Customer: “Yes it does! I saw it once!”

Manager: “No, sir. There is a fake trailer at the end of History of the World, Part I. The one with Hitler ice skating.”

Customer: “Yeah! That’s the one! Where is it!?”

Manager: “Sir, like we already told you, it was fake. There is no History of the World, Part II.”

Customer: *storms out*

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