Three Is A Magic Number

| Louisville, OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Rude & Risque

(We have a coworker who keeps getting obscene, prank calls. One day I answer the phone.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [store]. How may I help you?”

Caller: *muttering* “You can f*** me.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Could you please repeat that?”

Caller: “I said, you can F*** ME!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t do that over the phone. You’ll have to come into the store. Or perhaps you’d like to involve my husband for a threesome?”

Caller: *hangs up*

Needs To Work On His Socialist Skills, Part 3

| Twin Cities, MN, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Politics

(I am a cashier at a dollar store. Lately, we’ve been collecting school supplies for a charity that donates them to military families. As such, we have to ask customers if they would like to purchase an item for this charity.)

Me: “Would you also be interested in purchasing an item for [Charity] today?”

Man: “What is that? Some sort of communist youth organization?”

Me: *dumbfounded* “Uhm, no, sir. It donates school supplies to military families with children.”

Man: “Well, same thing right?”

(I stand there for a few seconds, just silently blinking and staring at him.)

Me: “…no, sir. Not even close.”

Related:
Needs To Work On His Socialist Skills, Part 2
Needs To Work On His Socialist Skills

Getting Chesty

| Wyoming, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Underaged

(I work in a local chain tobacco store. I am in my 40s. A very young looking man comes in my store with a small child.)

Customer: “Can I get a pack of [Brand] cigarettes?”

Me: “Can I see your ID?

Customer: “I left my wallet at home.

Me: “I’m sorry, but the law requires I ask for a valid picture ID. No ID means no sale.”

Customer: *testy* “I have a four-year-old kid! I think that proves I am old enough to buy cigs!”

Me: “Even kids too young to smoke can make a baby.”

Customer: *literally rips his shirt open* “For Christ’s sake I HAVE CHEST HAIR!”

Me: “Yup. You have about a dozen of them. Congrats.”

(The customer takes the child’s hand and storms out, cussing and complaining about me being rude.)