You Won’t Be-Leaf It

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Awesome Customers, Top, Transportation

(I am on the bus. There was a rather severe windstorm the previous night.)

Passenger: “Why are we stopping in the middle of the road?”

Driver: “There’s a fallen tree in the road.”

(The passenger talks to his companions for a few seconds.)

Passenger: “Can you let us off?”

Driver: “Why?”

Passenger: “We’re going to move the tree.”

(The passenger is a rather skinny looking guy.)

Driver: “…Sure.”

(The passenger and his friends get off the bus, then proceed to drag the fallen tree out of the road.)

Driver: “Well, I’ll be…”

(Thanks to the passengers who cleared it, and to the bus driver who let them off to do it—since it’s against policy to let them off at any place but a proper bus stop.)

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VOTES

The Bark Tastes Worse With A Bite

| GA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(Our restaurant serves salmon grilled on a cedar plank.)

Me: “Here is your cedar salmon. Can I get you anything else?”

Customer: “No. But can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Sure!”

Customer: “Can I eat the wood?”

Doesn’t Understand The Native Part

| New York, NY, USA | Bigotry, Top

(My boyfriend, our best friend, and I have recently started a bakery business together. The boys are the bakers, while I work the register. It’s late in the afternoon and we are just about to close. The boys are sweeping the floors and other stuff. I am Mohawk Native American, but people often think I am Hispanic because of my darker skin. A customer walks in.)

Me: “Good evening, How can I help you?”

Customer: “Ah, no. Him.” *points at my friend*

My Friend: “Oh, sorry I am cleaning up. [my name] will help you with your order.”

Customer: “No, it’s fine. How about him?” *points at my boyfriend, who is at the back doing the accounts*

Me: “He is not available either. I would be glad to help you.”

Customer: *sighs* “Alright. I have an order for a dozen eclairs, but can he give them to me?” *points again at my boyfriend*

Me: *confused* “Why?”

Customer: “Well, you’re Mexican, right? I just don’t want immigrants touching my food. You understand, right?”

(I just stare with shock.)

My Friend: “Lady, first of all she is Native American. Second, we do not tolerate racism here, so would you be so kind to leave our shop?”

Customer: “And you call yourself American! Defending some painted savage b****! I bet she puts peyote in the food to lure good Christian Americans into being voodoo savages!” *storms out and slams the door*

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2,454
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Love Is Not Easily Provoked

| Westchester, NY, USA | Bigotry, Family & Kids, Top

(I’m gay. My boyfriend has come in to pick me up after work.)

My Boyfriend: “Hey baby, ready to go?”

Mother: “How dare you flaunt that in front of my child! Who do you think you are? How dare you!”

Her Daughter: “But mommy! They’re in love!”

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Wherever You Go, There You Are

| London, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid

Customer: “How much is that door if the inside is white, and the outside is black?”

Me: “$960.”

Customer: “What if it’s black on the outside, and white on the inside?”

(I pause. The customer stares at me expectantly.)

Me: “$960.”

Customer: “So it’s the exact same price if I get black on the outside and white inside, or get white on the inside and black on the outside?”

Me: “Do you mean black on the inside, and white on the outside?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “I just want to clarify to make sure I am giving you the correct information: you would like the price with black on the outside and white inside or if you decide on white on the inside and black on the outside?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “$960.”

Customer: “What a great deal!”

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