April Monthly Roundup: Giving, Ticking, Spitting, Calling, & Shredding

Not Always Right | Roundups

April Monthly Roundup: Our most popular stories for April were full of action, from unexpected acts of generosity to completely expected acts of pomposity!

  1. BOGO: Buy One Give One:
    Don’t give up on humanity: this giving customer gives us hope!
  2. Watch What You Say:
    A customer’s own clock starts ticking after ticking off the wrong employee.
  3. So Much For Spit & Run:
    A violent customer learns that shooting saliva will only land you in the slammer.
  4. Hung Up On Gender:
    A sexist caller ends up with an earful of estrogen.
  5. Not A Shred Of Intelligence:
    A college student gets a crash-course in the difference between copying and cutting.

Pray That It Be Rhetorical

| UK | Rude & Risque

(We have a policy of “up-selling” specific products, meaning we offer them to every customers. This particular week, we’re up-selling pineapples. A middle-aged man approaches the till and I process his items.)

Me: “Thank you. That’ll be £X.XX. Would you like a pineapple? They’re only £1.”

Customer: “Would you like to rip my trousers off and have your wild way with me?”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “We all have questions.” *pays and leaves as if this is normal*

Option Overload, Part 2

, | Illinois, USA | Food & Drink

Customer: “I would like a number eight. That comes with a fruit punch, right?”

Me: “It comes with a large drink of your choice.”

Customer: “The sign shows fruit punch.”

Me: “Yes, but you can get what you want.”

Customer: “But the sign shows fruit punch!”

Related:
Option Overload

Redress Address For Mistress Distress

| Wisconsin, USA | Spouses & Partners, Top

Customer: “I’m canceling my credit card. You stupid idiots sent a statement to the wrong house!”

Me: “I do apologize if we sent your statement to the wrong address, but if you’d like, we can correct the address on file so that you can get your statements. What address would you like to receive them at?”

Customer: “No, you don’t get it. I am CANCELING! This was supposed to be a joint account with my boyfriend, but you f***ing idiots sent the statement to my boyfriend’s house because that was the address he signed up with. It’s your fault that his WIFE found it!”

Pac-Man Runs On Fruits

| Tacoma, WA, USA | Uncategorized

(I work at a game store that sells board games, card games, RPGs, and puzzles. We sometimes get unknowing customers who want video games or handheld electronic games.)

Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you have any of those Pac-Man games that you plug into the TV?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t carry any electronic games here.”

Customer: “What do you mean? I’m just looking for the Pac-Man game. It doesn’t need electricity.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but what you are looking for is indeed electronic. We don’t carry those kinds of games here.”

Customer: “I still don’t understand what you are saying. It’s just a Pac-Man game!” *walks away*

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