February Themed Story Giveaway: Returnaholics!

Not Always Right | Right | February 5, 2014
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Returnaholics!

Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

  1. Submit a funny or interesting story about customers who return products frequently or inappropriately.
  2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
  3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning January’s Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about outrageous demands. The winning submission: The Whole Nine Yards Of Unreason (1391 thumbs up).

PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, March 5!

A Very Close Knit Community

| USA | Right | February 4, 2014

(Occasionally customers bring in presents for the staff to show their appreciation. Normally it is cookies or flowers from their yards. Some of the newer staff are still getting used to this generosity. One afternoon in mid-November a woman brings in something different.)

Customer: “Pick one.” *lifts a a large, clear garbage bag full of brightly colored knit scarves onto the counter*

Me: “Oh, wow. What is the occasion?”

Customer: “It’s the holidays! I made all of these and I want to share them!”

Me: “Are you sure? That’s very thoughtful! You’re a much more prolific knitter than I am.” *carefully removes a scarf from the bag*

Customer: *quickly moves to my coworker at an adjacent desk* “Here! Pick one! Merry Christmas!”

Coworker: *looks up startled*

(I shrug, smile, and go into the work room to tell the other staff what is going on.)

Coworker: “Thank you. That’s very sweet.” *gingerly picks a scarf*

(The customer manages to find every staff member in the building and give them a scarf. She leaves immediately afterward.)

Coworker: “So, uh, do you guys all know her? Does she do this every year?”

Me: “I have… never seen that woman before in my life.”

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Not Really Framing A Good Argument

| Mankato, MN USA | Right | February 4, 2014

(I work in arts and craft store’s frame shop, which is located in a very small strip mall.)

Customer: “I really need something framed today. It’s urgent.”

Me: “Sure! We can do an express framing by picking out a ready-made frame on the floor and cutting a custom mat.”

Customer: “But I really want that frame.”

(He points to a corner sample on our wall display. We have over 400 samples.)

Me: “Well, that is a custom frame molding and we can order that for you, but it will take two weeks to complete.”

Customer: “No, I really need it today. That’s the one I want. Can you get it done by 6 pm?”

(As he says this, he can see my entire work room over my shoulder, which is obviously too small to hold any lumber, much less enough for 400+ frames.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We don’t make any of these frames in-house. If you really want that frame I will have to order it from our central warehouse, who will cut and join it before sending it to my shop. If you are in a hurry, there are two frames we sell on our sales floor that I think would be very similar to the custom frame sample you like. They would look great!”

Customer: “But you’re a frame shop! Why don’t you make the frames here?”

Me: “Sir, if you look behind me, you’ll see my entire frame shop. We don’t have the room to store all of the frame materials so we use a warehouse.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! You should make them here!”

Me: “Sir, we offer over 400 different frames. If we kept enough lumber in stock to fulfill the frame-size request of each frame-type for each customer, we would need a building the size of [local national chain hardware store].”

Customer: “Oh…”

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Life Is Stranger Than Movie Fiction

| New Zealand | Right | February 4, 2014

(I work as a cinema attendant at a movie theatre. I am working at one of the registers when a customer storms up to my till.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but are you the manager?”

Me: “No, but I would be happy to fetch them for you. What is the issue, just in case I can help you out?”

Customer: “The movie I just watched was absolutely ridiculous, and I couldn’t stand it. I want my money back for it!”

Me: “Oh, which movie was it?”

(The customer states the name of a movie which had just finished screening, after she had sat through the entire movie.)

Customer: “I also want my money back for my combo as well. The popcorn was just FAR too salty!”

(The customer has about a quarter of a large box of popcorn left in her hand, after having eaten all the rest.)

Me: “Ma’am, we can’t actually refund tickets for movies that you watched all the way through. If you had come out after about 15 to 20 minutes, we could have, but not after you’ve seen the entire thing. We also can’t give refunds on food that has already been eaten.”

Customer: “That is so stupid. What kind of customer service is this? I paid for this food and that movie, but I didn’t enjoy it. Surely you are meant to keep the customer happy?!”

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Off-Color Customers

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Right | February 4, 2014

(A customer comes up to me with several bathmats. I am the only staff member in a large store; my coworker is at lunch.)

Me: “Hi. Can I help you?”

Customer #1: “I need to know which of these you think will suit my bathroom.”

Me: “I have no idea what your bathroom looks like.”

Customer #1: “Well, it has…” *mutters off strange colour combination I don’t quite understand* “…and black on the floor. Which one suits my bathroom?”

(This goes back and forth for several minutes. Finally I have had enough.)

Me: *pointing to one* “That one will suit.”

Customer #1: “Are you sure? I need one for toilet, one for wash hands and one for…” *struggles to find word*

Me: “Bathtub?”

(I go and get him another set, but he is upset that there will be two contour mats for the toilet.)

Me: “You will need to wash that one more often, so two would be good.”

Customer #1: “I look for more. You come.”

Me: “No, you look. I am the only one in the store at the moment and there is another customer waiting.”

(I turn to the other customer, vainly hoping for an easy sale.)

Me: “Hi. Can I help you?”

Customer #2: “I need jersey fabric. Can you show me where it is?”

Me: “Okay. I can show you quickly. I do need to back to the counter as I am the only one on the floor right now.”

(I take her to the jersey fabrics and point them out to her.)

Customer #2: “I need five colours.”

Me: “Okay. I’ll just leave you to choose them. Bring them to the counter when you are ready.”

Customer #2: “I need your help choosing them.”

Me: “Sorry. I really need to be back at the counter, as I’ve already explained.”

Customer #2: “How long until someone comes back and you can do it?”

Me: “20 minutes.”

Customer #2: “I’ll come back.”

(I go back to the counter to find that Customer #1 is back there.)

Customer #1: *with other bathmats* “Will these suit my bathroom?”

(I eventually sell Customer #1 the two sets of mats in the colour I chose. After 20 minutes, my coworker has come back and Customer #2 comes back in.)

Customer #2: *haughtily* “Can you serve me now?”

Me: “Yes, I can. Sorry about before. That customer was really doing my head in. Do you need help finding colours?”

Customer #2: “No. I know exactly what colours I need.”

(All Customer #2 wanted me for was to hold up fabric while she ‘ummed’ and ‘ahhed’ over the colour, as well as carry the very light rolls to the counter!)

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