13 Is Lucky For Some

| NSW, Australia | Awesome Customers, Top

(The night before was incredibly busy, and we were very short-staffed. One group of customers has had their leader buy all the tickets while the individuals buy their confectionery. The next day, one of the customers from the group walks up to the ticket box.)

Customer: “Hi, I was in here last night with a group of 13 kids.”

Manager: “Yes, I remember. It was busy, wasn’t it?”

Customer: “Sure was. In fact, it wasn’t until after the movie had finished that we realised we’d purchased only 12 tickets. The usher didn’t realise as we passed through, but I’d really like to pay for the extra ticket now…”

(We processed the transaction, and the customer happily went on his way. Our staff were so impressed with the display of integrity, they were in good spirits for the rest of the day. That group is welcome any time!)

1 Thumbs
2,725
VOTES

Death Of An Insurance Salesman

| ON, Canada | Crazy Requests

(I work for a very large insurance company. An angry client calls in with a thick foreign accent. Note that my trouble understanding her is making her aggravated.)

Client: “Why haven’t you paid me my insurance money?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m not really understanding the question. Could you clarify a little more for me?”

Client: “You must pay me the $100,000 for my insurance!”

Me: “Ma’am, you are the insured person on this policy. Who is it that has passed?”

Client: “No one passes! I need you to pay me my insurance.”

(This continues back and forth for five minutes.)

Me: “Ma’am, we can’t pay you the money from your life insurance policy for the same reason you cannot bury a man living in the USA in Canada.”

Client: “Why not?!”

Me: “Because you’re not dead.”

Sweet Injustice

| ON, Canada | Food & Drink

Customer: “I will have [very sweet] pie.”

Me: “Great. This pie is very sweet, and we recommend it with a scoop of ice cream for an extra dollar. Or, a glass of milk if you want.”

Customer: “No, just the pie is fine. I’m not paying an extra dollar.”

(Later, when they are paying…)

Customer: “Um, just so you know, that pie that I had was really sweet. I almost couldn’t eat it. You should really serve it with ice cream or a glass of milk of something!”

Re-Cycling DVDs

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Top, Wild & Unruly

(Our store releases new DVDs every Tuesday. A customer comes in on Wednesday, visibly angry.)

Customer: “What the h*** is wrong with your movies? This doesn’t work!”

(I open the case and discover that the brand new DVD is broken in several pieces, and has a large tire tread on the back.)

Me: “Sir, what happened? The DVD is completely destroyed!”

Customer: “I ran over it with my motorcycle. Why?”

Me: “…You ran over it…”

Customer: “I wanted to see if they still made them like they used to! Back in my day you couldn’t destroy things like this! I demand a refund!”

(He continues to yell and rant until my manager shows up. I explain what the story is, with the customer agreeing with me word for word on what happened. Finally, my manager speaks.)

Manager: *to the customer* “What are you, an idiot?”

1 Thumbs
2,869
VOTES

Causing A Storm

| West Point, NY, USA | Uncategorized

(The week after Hurricane Sandy, gas is rationed in several counties, including mine. I am a customer at a gas station on a military base. There are signs at every pump that say you must pay inside, 100% ID check, and ten gallon limit.)

Me: *to the clerk* “$20 on pump one, please.”

(As I say this, another customer storms inside.)

Customer: “Excuse me! Why won’t the stupid pump take my card? I’ve been out there for five minutes, I don’t have time for this!”

Clerk: “I’m very sorry. Pay-at-the-pump has been turned off until the gas shortage is over. I will be happy to process your transaction when I am finished helping this customer.”

Customer: *nearly pushes me* “No, I was here first! I need $75 on pump 5, hurry up!”

(The clerk finishes putting through my cash transaction and takes the customer’s credit card.)

Clerk: “There is a limit of ten gallons per customer, and I must see your military ID before I can process you.”

Customer: “What do you mean ten gallons?! I need to fill my car up! I have things to do today, and I don’t have my ID with me. It’s at home.”

Clerk: “I’m sorry. I cannot sell you gas today without it.”

Customer: “Listen you, my husband is a Colonel! I don’t have to take this from you. You will put $75 on my pump; I don’t have time for this!”

(A military police officer has been listening to the whole exchange and walks over. Note that he is a specialist—a low-rank enlisted.)

Military Police Officer: “Ma’am, these rules come down from the Base Commander. Please stop harassing the clerk, go get your ID, and come back.”

Lady: “You can’t tell me what to do, specialist! I’m going to call my husband right now; I’ll have your rank! You’ll be doing extra duty for the next year!”

Military Police Officer: “Actually, ma’am, I can tell you what to do. Why don’t we go talk about it at the MP Station? Your husband can come and pick you up from there.”

Editor’s note: Although this story tells the lighter side of things, the devastation caused by Sandy is very serious. Click here to visit FEMA’s dedicated Sandy page and learn how you can donate and volunteer.

1 Thumbs
1,358
VOTES
Page 1,676/3,122First...1,6741,6751,6761,6771,678...Last