Killing Two Types Of Bigot With One Stone

| MO, USA | Right | February 6, 2014

(I recently got married. Due to the nature of my job, I opted for a simple wedding band instead of one with a stone that could easily get caught on things while I am working.)

Customer: “Are you a lesbian?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You have a man’s ring.”

Me: “Oh, no. My husband and I got matching bands. I didn’t want a stone because it could get in the way at work.”

Customer: “Husband? So you’re not a lesbian?”

Me: “No, I am not. Like I said, a simple band seemed more practical to me.”

Customer: “Well, you should get a girl’s ring! How do you expect people to know you’re not a lesbian with THAT on your finger?”

1 Thumbs
1,466
VOTES

The Heavenly Penny Finally Dropped

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Right | February 6, 2014

(I work in a small local library. A patron comes up to the front desk with a mischievous look in his eye. He plunks down a stack of movies.)

Patron: “I didn’t know you guys had stuff like this.”

(Not everyone knows that we lend videos and music, so I start on my standard ‘things you can get from the library’ spiel.)

Patron: “No, man, I know about that! I meant porn!”

Me: “Wha?”

Patron: “Like this one, here!”

(He holds up an old VHS.)

Patron:Penis from Heaven!”

Me: “‘Pennies,'” sir. It’s Pennies from Heaven.”

Patron: “Oh. Well, you can keep it, then.”

1 Thumbs
1,490
VOTES

Just Because You Can…

| Right | February 5, 2014

Common-Sense-just-because-you-can-doesnt-mean-you-should

Surely Get You Help Faster

| Right | February 5, 2014

images

French Disconnection

| Right | February 5, 2014

Page 1,674/3,802First...1,6721,6731,6741,6751,676...Last