The Munchkin Gymnast Special

| USA | Right | September 9, 2015

(My brother and I work at our family coffee shop, and this happens one morning when my brother is covering the shift of our female co-worker. A middle-aged man walks in.)

Customer: “Where are all the hot girls?”

Brother: “…What?”

Customer: “Don’t all the hot girls work here?”

Brother: “Uh, well, I’m working today.”

Customer: “Man, there’s this one…” *he holds out his hand, indicating how short our coworker is* “…She’s a little munchkin. She looks like she could be a gymnast.”

(He eventually placed his order and left a good-sized tip.)

Can’t Wait To Assist!

| Right | September 8, 2015

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Cancel My Previous Statement

| USA | Right | September 8, 2015

(I work at a well-known retail store. We work with pin-pads for debit and credit. I like to walk people through each step, because if you select the wrong thing you’ll have to slide the card again and this annoys customers.)

Customer: *swipes card*

Me: “Now if you could select debit or credit.”

Customer: *selects debit*

Me: “Now then—”

Customer: “EXCUSE ME! I’M NOT STUPID! I don’t need you to walk me through this. I know how to do it!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; I didn’t mean—”

Customer: “I use my card all the time. I think I KNOW HOW TO USE A PIN-PAD!”

(I decide to let it go. I don’t talk again until I look at the screen.)

Me: “Um, excuse me, ma’am—”

Customer: “WHAT!”

Me: “Did you find something wrong with the price?”

Customer: “No. Why?”

Me: “Because you just cancelled the entire transaction.”

Employees Who Have Spirit

| GA, USA | Right | September 8, 2015

(I am a hotel concierge, and a few customers are talking about the prices of late-night ghost tours of the city.)

Customer: “What’s the price of [Tour #1]?”

Me: “That one is [Expensive Price], and it’s inside an air-conditioned trolley that goes through most of downtown.”

Customer: “What’s the price of [Tour #2?]”

Me: “That one’s [Cheap Price], and it’s a walking tour inside of a graveyard. There’s also a tour in a modified hearse that’s [Cheaper Price], and it’s the most economical.”

Customer: “Well, what tour can I get for two dollars?”

(Most of the prices are over twenty dollars, and my mother has a strange way of dealing with customers that try to lowball the prices.)

Me: “For two dollars, I’ll take your family into the bathroom, turn off the lights, and go ‘WoooOOOooooOOO!’ like a ghost.”

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Not Very Cagey About Their Drinking

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Right | September 8, 2015

(A woman has come in looking for a hamster for her seven-year-old daughter’s birthday the next day. I’ve gone over the basic care instructions and all that’s left is to pick out the cage.)

Me: “Okay, so the dwarf hamster is pretty small, and any of these cages will be big enough. I would recommend this one, since it comes with food, bedding, food dish and a water bottle.”

Customer: “Which one is the easiest to put together? I’m gonna be pretty drunk tonight when I set this thing up.”

Me: “…Let me show you the pre-assembled cages.”

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