Had A Sub-Standard Education

| Madison, WI, USA | Right | January 29, 2016

Teenage Customer: “Can I get a ham on wheat?”

Me: “Absolutely. Is that a six-inch or twelve-inch?”

Teenage Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: *speechless*

(The customer’s dad turns to his son and gives him a disgusted look.)

Customer’s Dad: “One’s bigger, a**-hole.”

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Taxing Faxing, Part 17

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Right | January 29, 2016

(After finishing up a call with a customer…)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “You know, you don’t have to send out things via the post. It’s such a waste of paper and trees.”

Me: “Fair enough.”

Customer: “So, I was thinking you could fax them. Is that okay?”

 

Da Vinci Tourists

| Right | January 29, 2016

What Came First: The Chicken Or The Crazy?

| Manila, Philippines | Right | January 29, 2016

(I am by the fresh poultry section waiting for my chicken to be cut by the butcher. There are other people lined up before me so I patiently wait as the line is short, anyway. A lady in her late 50s stretches her hand across me and tries to grab a couple of bags from the cold tray. I slowly back my cart away so she can have room and have ease to get what she wants.)

Lady: “Thank you! I could not get around this line!” *groans* “I’ll just cut these myself instead at home to save time!”

Me: *smiles*

(She then walks away. She comes back after I got my produce and starts another small talk.)

Lady: “Hey, look, these section here has a promo from [Brand]! You can get a FREE kg of chicken if you buy four! How cool is that? And these look so much better than what you got. Yours look a day old. It does not look fresh anymore. You might get a disease out of that.”

Me: *tries to be very polite* “Sorry, but I only need a couple. Also, I’m very certain that what they sell here are fresh everyday.”

Lady: *rudely takes the bags out of my cart and puts the chicken from the promo section* “Here… take these five bags and I’ll pay you half the price when the transaction is done. You can take three bags and I will get two. Totally worth it, right? You definitely saved some money!”

Me: “Can’t you just mind your own business? I told you, I don’t need that much! If you’re in great need of a discount, go buy in the public market!”

(While saying this, I return the items back and get mine.)

Lady: “But I hate the smell there!”

Me: “Not my problem! Ciao!”

Lady: “You better not turn your back from me while I’m talking to you! You need to take these!”

(Security approaches her.)

Security: “Madam, kindly put them down and come with me.”

Lady: “No! I will stay here until I convince this young woman!”

Security: *to me* “Young lady, you can go now. On behalf of the management, I apologize for the inconvenience.” *turns to the woman* “Please, come with me.”

Lady: “No, I’m not going with you!”

(I left the area as soon as the security said, with a smile on my face. When I looked back, the butcher was trying to contain his laughter while security talked with the lady. I paused and tried to watch from the distance. The security left the lady alone and she started to disorganize the fruits & vegetables display.)

Narwailing On About It

| Portland, OR, USA | Right | January 29, 2016

(I work at a bookstore that mostly sells children’s books. A mother comes in with her daughter who is about six years old.)

Mother: “I’d like to make a complaint. Who is the manager?”

Me: “I am the manager. What is the problem?”

Mother: “I found this book in the nonfiction section.”

(She holds up a book about arctic animals. The cover shows a polar bear and a narwhal.)

Me: “Ma’am, that is a nonfiction book. It contains facts about those animals.”

Mother: “No, it does not. There’s no such thing as a narwhal! They are imaginary creatures.”

Me: “…”

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