Close Cousins Of The Fashion Police

| Dallas, TX, USA | Bizarre, Money

(I’m working as a cashier at a local mall.)

Me: “Okay, sir. Your total today is [price].”

Customer: “Can I get my 20% discount?”

Me: *confused* “20% discount?”

Customer: “Yeah, I always get 20% off of my purchases.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can only make an adjustment if the item is on sale or if you have a coupon. We don’t have a standing 20% off discount.”

Customer: “But I ALWAYS get a discount.”

Me: “Umm… I’m sorry, but I haven’t heard of this discount and I can’t make an adjustment. I can get my manager and see if she can—”

Customer: “What’s your name?”

Me: “[name].”

Customer: “Well, [name], I want you to know that I’m reporting you to the sales police! Consider yourself warned!” *stalks out of the store*

Sticking To One’s Guns

| Texas, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Top

(A squadmate and I from my unit are out at the range, practicing with a pair of higher-priced military style AR rifles. Both of us are wearing civilian clothes and military issue armor and ammo carriers, for practice. A guy in the next lane over has a similarly expensive gun, and the far lane is occupied by an obvious civilian with a much cheaper, wooden rifle.)

Next Lane: “Look at that s***! Only f****ts use Mosins. It’s a gay rifle!”

Me: “Oh, that’s not true…” *I look at my buddy* “Do you have a Mosin, darling?”

My Buddy: *doesn’t miss a beat* “Of course not, baby.”

(He stops reloading the mag he has and stands very close to me with one arm around my shoulders.)

Next Lane: *packs up and leaves immediately*

(I am not gay, but my squad mate is!)

Extras Roundup: Ridiculous Receipts

Not Always Right | Roundups

Here’s a collection of some receipts that range from awesome to just plain ridiculous, fresh from our Extras section!

Receipt Win
(50 thumbs up)
$200 Tip, Anyone?
(160 thumbs up)
Worst Tip Ever
(43 thumbs up)
Another Cheap Customer, Part 2
(28 thumbs up)
Another Cheap Customer
(28 thumbs up)
I Can’t Math
(53 thumbs up)

Do you like to draw? Got a funny image or picture? Share it with us!

Wake Up And Hell The Coffee

| Gloucestershire, England, UK | Food & Drink, Religion

(I’m working the Sunday morning shift in the cafe in the middle of winter. Our cafe is opposite the church.)

Customer: *comes in from the church, shivering*

Me: “You look cold.”

Customer: “Oh, the church central heating is broken again, and the vicar went on and on and on. You’d think he’d have thought to have let us out early when it’s this cold.”

Me: “Well, what can I get you to warm you up?”

Customer: “A large latte please…” *perks up suddenly* “…and make it evil, evil, EVIL hot!”

Holy Smoky Mountains, Batman

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Family & Kids

(I’m working the register of a small toy store when a family walks in with a two-year-old boy in a stroller and his older brother (who’s about eight) walking alongside it. They walk past our new “Dark Knight Rises” merchandise.)

2-year-old Brother: *holds his arms out* “I WANNA BE BATMAN! I WANNA BE BATMAN!”

Me: *smiling* “We all want to be Batman.”

8-year-old Brother: “Batman’s real where I come from!”

Me: “Oh, are you from Gotham City?”

8-year-old Brother: “No, Tennessee!”

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