Dora Hasn’t Explored That Yet

| FL, USA | Right | May 30, 2015

(I’m bagging a customer’s purchases when a woman and a little girl in a Dora the Explorer shirt walk by.)

Me: “Do you know how Dora the Explorer got her name?”

Customer: *suddenly horrified* “Uh… no…”

Me: “Because the Spanish word for ‘explorer’ is ‘exploradora.'”

Customer: “Oh, thank God. I thought you were going to say she was named after a porn star or something.”

Me: “…”

Banana-Drama

| TN, USA | Right | May 30, 2015

(It’s around nine pm, and only my first week at this new store. I’m a cashier and my bagger is helping me with the register when I need help. An elderly woman walks up to the counter.)

Me:“How are you tonight, ma’am?”

Customer: “Horrible! I can barely afford to buy groceries, but there are little girls winning Miss America pageants and I have to scrape pennies to buy food! It’s not fair!”

(I can’t get a word out before she starts going on about God and becoming an atheist.)

Customer: “Why, God?! Why?! Why me?!”

(At this point, several employees have gathered and are watching her have a full blown breakdown in the store. She throws her items on the belt and I ring them up, and wait for her to stop screaming. She finally stops.)

Me: “Do you have your rewards card with you?”

(All the other employees, most of them teenagers burst out laughing. She throws her card at me and I scan it. I give her her total, and all h*** breaks loose.)

Customer: “Jesus Christ, I can’t afford that! Take it all off; I don’t want it!”

(I void all the items off and she says she will buy one banana. I weigh it and give her the total. She then starts dumping her purse out on the counter and starts throwing pennies at me. I count them and tell her she still owes an amount of cents. She throws more pennies on the counter and complains that she is spending her life savings on one banana. At this point, all my coworkers are just staring at her speechless. She ends up taking the banana, and I try to give her her change of one cent back and she walks out waving the banana around cursing God. Then she reenters minutes later and goes through another lane with bread and does the same thing with the other cashier. After she leaves, the cashier, who is actually a manager, walks over to me and says:)

Manager: “I hate my life.”

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Bad Tipper = Bad Person

| Right | May 30, 2015

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This Is What You Regularly Face

| London, England, UK | Right | May 29, 2015

(A sweet little old lady approaches my information desk.)

Customer: “Hello, love. I am looking for the rates for housing benefit.”

Me: “Certainly. Could I take your postcode?”

Customer: “It’s [postcode].”

Me: “Okay, that’s great. According to the government website, your benefit rate is [amount].”

Customer: “Oh, it’s gone up. Are you sure?”

Me: “It here says that the benefit increased this year.”

Customer: “Right. Well, could I get your name, please, dear?”

Me: “Certainly, it’s [My Name].”

Customer: “And do you work everyday?”

Me: “Actually, I’m part-time so I am only here Monday and Fridays.”

Customer: “Good. So if I find out that this information is wrong, I know when to come in and smash your face in.”

(The lady gathered her things and left. I am still in shock.)

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Trying To Drive The Job Away

| Frederick, MD, USA | Right | May 29, 2015

(I work for a health insurance company.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name].”

Caller: “Hi, I was just cut off by a bus on the highway and I demand you fire the driver!”

Me: “I’m not sure that I can help you with that.”

Caller: “The bus had your company’s logo on the side of it. Fire the driver!”

Me: “Where are you?”

Caller: “Miami. Aren’t you?”

Me: “No, I’m in Maryland, and I’m sure the bus just had an ad for our product on it. We wouldn’t own the bus.”

Caller: “Well, transfer me to someone who can fire the bus driver.”

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