The Rotten Eggs Aren’t The Only Rotten Eggs

| TX, USA | Right | February 6, 2014

(I work at a big chain retail store that also has a grocery section. On this day, my store has a power outage that lasts several hours. There’s a generator that keeps lights, necessary systems, and two registers going, but it’s not strong enough to power the refrigerated/frozen section. We block off those aisles and announce over the PA that we will not be able to sell any cold foods. I see a customer ducking the cordon and opening a refrigerator door.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am? Because of the power outage, these aisles are closed. We can’t guarantee the cold food is safe to eat anymore.”

Customer: “Yeah, I heard, but I just need some eggs.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t sell those. There’s a [Grocery Store] across the street if you need.”

Customer: “Why would I go there? I’ve already got these. Hey, what the h***? These eggs are all warm!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, because of the power outage. The refrigerators haven’t been working, so all the cold food has thawed. We can’t sell it.”

(The customer drops the egg carton on the floor.)

Customer: “Then why the h*** are they still on the shelf? What kind of sick store would try to sell bad food to people?”

Me: “…that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, ma’am. We CAN’T sell it. That’s why these aisles are blocked with the ropes and signs saying ‘Do Not Enter.'”

Customer: “That’s it. I’ve had enough of your stupid policies! I’m taking my business to [grocery store across the street]!”

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Take Note And Buy A Pen

| Brooklyn, NY, USA | Right | February 6, 2014

(I answer the phone.)

Me: “[Store]. Hello?”

Customer: “Hi.I need the number for [Company] support.”

Me: “Okay, do you have a pen ready?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, here’s the number. [Number].”

Customer: “Could you repeat that?”

Me: “Sure.” *repeats number*

Customer: “D***. One more time, please?”

Me: *repeats number*

Customer: “D*** it!”

Me: “Can you not hear me or something?”

Customer: “I can hear you. I just don’t have a pen and paper. I was trying to memorize the number.”

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Killing Two Types Of Bigot With One Stone

| MO, USA | Right | February 6, 2014

(I recently got married. Due to the nature of my job, I opted for a simple wedding band instead of one with a stone that could easily get caught on things while I am working.)

Customer: “Are you a lesbian?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You have a man’s ring.”

Me: “Oh, no. My husband and I got matching bands. I didn’t want a stone because it could get in the way at work.”

Customer: “Husband? So you’re not a lesbian?”

Me: “No, I am not. Like I said, a simple band seemed more practical to me.”

Customer: “Well, you should get a girl’s ring! How do you expect people to know you’re not a lesbian with THAT on your finger?”

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The Heavenly Penny Finally Dropped

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Right | February 6, 2014

(I work in a small local library. A patron comes up to the front desk with a mischievous look in his eye. He plunks down a stack of movies.)

Patron: “I didn’t know you guys had stuff like this.”

(Not everyone knows that we lend videos and music, so I start on my standard ‘things you can get from the library’ spiel.)

Patron: “No, man, I know about that! I meant porn!”

Me: “Wha?”

Patron: “Like this one, here!”

(He holds up an old VHS.)

Patron:Penis from Heaven!”

Me: “‘Pennies,'” sir. It’s Pennies from Heaven.”

Patron: “Oh. Well, you can keep it, then.”

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Just Because You Can…

| Right | February 5, 2014

Common-Sense-just-because-you-can-doesnt-mean-you-should

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