Weekly Roundup: Historical Hijinx

Not Always Right | History, Roundups

Historical Hijinx! From vampire-hunting presidents to Viking chicken nuggets, for these customers, history is a complete mystery!

  1. (Not One Of) History’s Mysteries (5,123 Thumbs Up)
    For this customer, Cowboys & Indians are as fictional as Aliens & Zombies!
  2. S.H.I.E.L.D. Me From This Stupidity (1,468 Thumbs Up)
    We wish Captain America were the real deal, but for this 45-year-old moviegoer he’s a real American hero.
  3. Being The President Sucks (2,892 Thumbs Up)
    Yes, it’s true: Abraham Lincoln had a Stake in preventing the Twilight of our democracy!
  4. Pages Of A Post-Apocalyptic Persuasion (3,196 Thumbs Up)
    We’ll all be drinking Nuka-Cola if this customer’s search for World War 3 history bears mutfruit.
  5. Little Nuggets Of Interest (2,964 Thumbs Up)
    A child gives an Irish tour guide a real “nugget” of historical Viking wisdom!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 11

| UK | Technology

Me: “Thanks for calling [store name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “My internet won’t work! You have to fix it now! My business is losing hundreds of pounds thanks to you!”

Me: “I certainly do apologise about that. Are the lights on?”

Customer: “Yes, but one’s flashing.”

Me: “Okay, is the DSL cable plugged in securely?”

Customer: “DSL cable? There isn’t one of those!”

Me: “Erm, okay. So, what cables do you have plugged into it?”

Customer: “I haven’t got any plugged into it! It said it was a wireless router! So I don’t need any wires, duh!”

Me: “So… where is the router ma’am?”

Customer: “It’s in the filing cabinet, of course!”

Related:
Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 10

Going Overboard With The Engagement Ring

| NY, USA | Bizarre, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I work on a tour boat in New York. Some friends are on my tour. My partner of 6 years asked me to marry him yesterday, so I am excitedly showing my friends my breathtaking new engagement ring. An elderly lady has been glaring at us while I talk to them.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, can I get anything for you?”

Lady: “Did you say you’re getting married?!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am! I’m so excited!”

Lady: “You’re too young to get married!”

(Suddenly, the lady grabs my hand and rips my ring off my finger. Before anyone can do anything, she flings my ring overboard. I am in total shock while my friend screams at the lady.)

My Friend: “She’s 28!”

Lady: *suddenly all smiles* “Oh! That’s alright then. I’ll have a Coke. Thank you, dear!”

(I now have a new ring, but I never wear it to work.)

1 Thumbs
2,370
VOTES

Putting The Sub Into Subservient

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

(I’m training at the back of a sandwich store with a coworker, when we notice that our other coworker on service needs help. Note: we have a promotion that makes any foot-long sandwich $6.00 between 11 pm and 11 am.)

Customer: “No! How much is that?! [Your coworker] just said ‘no’!”

Me: “Pardon me, miss, what seems to be the—”

Customer: “You have a sign outside that says every sub is six dollars.”

Me: “Yes, that’s true.”

Customer: “But she just said ‘no’!”

Coworker: “Miss, all foot-long subs -are- six dollars right now.”

(Suddenly, the customer lunges at my colleague. Her boyfriend immediately grabs her and pulls her to him.)

Customer’s Boyfriend: “Babe, calm down.”

Customer: “…Okay. Look: my boyfriend just asked if my sub was the same price. And you said no.”

Coworker: “Right! Yes. Because your sub is a six inch, and is cheaper.”

Customer: “But your sign says they’re ALL six dollars! And you said ‘no’!”

Customer’s Boyfriend: “Babe, you’ve got to calm down.”

Coworker: “Yeah, because your sub is only six inches long. It’s cheaper.”

Customer: *glares at us*

Me: “Regardless, your sub is only four dollars, miss.”

Customer: *turning on me, wildly* “No! I’m not paying for that! She said ‘no’!” *gestures to her boyfriend’s foot-long* “He’s paying for that, and that’s it! *turns to her boyfriend* “And don’t you ever grab me again!”

Customer’s Boyfriend: “Oh, yeah, I’m the one in trouble here.”

(The boyfriend and I finish the transaction for his foot-long while the girlfriend paces angrily outside.)

Me: “Here’s your change… and good luck.”

Customer’s Boyfriend: “Thanks. I’ll need it.”

Small Print, Smaller Minds

| IN, USA | At The Checkout

(I work as a manager at a large craft store chain. A customer comes in, wanting to return a clearance item she had purchased from another store in our chain.)

Customer: “I want to return this item, please.”

(I look at her receipt, and notice it is over 60 days old.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t take back clearance items on receipts that are more than 60 days old.”

Customer: “The cashier didn’t tell me that.”

Me: “Well, our return policy is right here on the back of the receipt.”

Customer: “Well, she didn’t tell me to turn it over and read it!”

Page 1,672/3,120First...1,6701,6711,6721,6731,674...Last