A New Form Of Reverse Psychology

, | CO, USA | Right | March 5, 2014

(I am working the drive thru and we were about to close. I see a car full of high-schoolers pull up to the window and the whole car is backwards. I go see what’s going on.)

Customer: “I bet you haven’t seen a car drive backwards through your drive thru before!”

Me: “No, sure haven’t!”

Customer: “So this means we get free food then right? For being original?”

Me: “Um, no. Nice try.”

Customer: “Okay. Had to try.” *drives off in reverse*

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A Race To Be At The Place

| LA, USA | Right | March 5, 2014

(Customer #1 is paying with a check. She’s one of our regulars, and a very nice person, but it does take her a little bit of time to write all the information on her check. Customer #2 is in line behind her.)

Customer #2: “Oh, dear gawd. How long is this gonna take?”

Me: “Just a moment, ma’am. We need to finish up here.”

Customer #2: “Some of us ain’t got all day. We don’t go ‘round wasting other people’s time, but here they be wastin’ ours. F*** this!”

Me: “We’re almost done, and stop cussing. Okay?”

Customer #1: “Thank you, sweetie. Are we done? Okay, fine. Have a good day, now!”

Customer #2: *mockingly* “Have a good day! Have a good day! Get your old a** out my way!”

(I silently ring up the rude customer’s purchases, and then tell her the total. She pulls a plastic baggie from her purse and starts counting it out in loose change. It’s a large total, and several times she gets a text on her phone and then loses track of her count. All in all, it takes nearly ten minutes for her to pay.)

Customer #2: “There! We done? I got places to be!”

(Customer #2 then strolls out the door and stands leaning on the lamp post next to the street, talking on her cell phone. I start ringing up the next customer.)

Customer #3: “Yep. That’s her place to be, I guess.”

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Listen For Those Nuggets Of Information

, | UK | Right | March 5, 2014

(I take orders in the drive-thru.)

Me: “Hi, can I take your order, please?”

Customer: “Can I have a large chicken nugget meal, please?”

Me: “Sure, what drink?”

Customer: “LARGE. CHICKEN. NUGGET. MEAL.”

Me: “Yeah. What drink?”

(The customer rolls their eyes and sighs before making some comment to the passenger about ‘kids these days.’)

Customer: “Chicken—”

Me: “Yes. I heard you say large chicken nugget meal the first time. I asked you what drink?”

Customer: *laughs* “Oh. Coke!”

Me: “Any dips?”

Customer: “COKE!”

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Hot On The Scent For Trouble

| USA | Right | March 5, 2014

(I have a service dog and request a booth so he can sit or lie underneath without being in anyone’s way. He wears a bright red vest with the proper identification of his use and I also carry an ID card proving his certifications for use. That also means there is a little bit of a wait unless we make reservations to let them know about the dog and table requests. This happens when waiting for a table.)

Customer: “I didn’t know this was one of those dog friendly places.”

Waitress: “It’s not.”

Customer: “Well you’d better tell that girl over there she needs to put her dog in the car. Wait, you’re not allowed to sass customers are you? Don’t worry. I’ll tell her.” *to me* “Hey, you. B**** with the dog!”

(I’m thinking he sees someone else waiting for a table with their dog but when I look over I see him waving a cane at me.)

Me: “Me?”

Customer: “Yeah. I’m talking to you. Didn’t you hear? You’re not allowed to bring your f****** dog here. You young people think the rules don’t apply to you! Well, let me tell you, sweetie, the rules apply to everyone!”

Me: “He’s a medical dog which makes him allowed everywhere your cane is allowed. So why don’t you turn around and take your self-righteous a** back to your seat and keep your nose out of business you have no right to be in?”

Customer: “You respect your elders, missy! I fought a war for you to be able to take that beast in this fine establishment!”

Me: “I give respect where respect is deserved. You may have fought a war back then but I need this dog because I fought a war so you can keep your freedoms. And as for my beast, he’s better mannered than you are. At least he knows how to act in public.”

(The customer paled before scurrying back to his seat and the other people in the restaurant applauded me. We were given a booth as far away as the man as possible right away and the manager brought out food and water for my dog as well.)

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His Excuse Is A Total Cop Out

| SC, USA | Right | March 4, 2014

(I work for security in a very rural hospital and am dealing with a very unruly patient who isn’t allowed to leave due to medication he has taken.)

Me: “Sir, I just want to make you aware that because of the medications you have taken, for your safety, I need you to go back inside and call a ride to pick you up.”

Patient: “F*** you! I’m an adult! I’ll do what i want!”

Me: “Sir, I understand that you don’t feel well, and I’m trying to be nice to you. So, will you please return to the ER?”

Patient: “F*** YOU!”

(I notify my partner of the incident and the police are called to deal with the individual. As we await the police, the patient comes back to the ER lobby and confronts the very outspoken desk clerk who has no idea what is going on.)

Patient: “WHO SENT THAT RENT-A-COP OUTSIDE TO WATCH ME LIKE A CHILD?!”

Desk Clerk: “Can I help you?”

Patient: “I want to speak to the rent-a-cop who followed me to my vehicle to watch me like I’m some three-year-old! I’ll have him know that I’m very good friends with the owner of his company and I’ve been a security guard for over 10 years!”

Desk Clerk: “Well, sir, wouldn’t that make you a rent-a-cop, too?”

Patient: “That’s not the same!”

(As the patient is leaving, he has one more question.)

Patient: “Hey, man. I would like to apologize for the behavior. It was the meds talking. But I do have a question.”

Me: “What’s that?”

Patient: “Are y’all hiring?”

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