The Bald And The Beautiful, Part 2

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Health & Body, Top

(I’ve recently been diagnosed with leukemia and am due to undergo chemotherapy. I decide to have fun with my hair and dye it blue knowing it’ll be gone soon. I’m at my favorite coffee shop.)

Customer In Line: “Excuse me. Is there a manager on duty?”

Manager: “I’m the manager on duty. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer In Line: *points straight at me* “Can you have HIM escorted from the premises?”

Manager: “I can’t see anything he’s doing wrong, ma’am. May I ask why you want him to leave?”

Customer In Line: “Are you blind? Look at that punk. His kind should not be allowed in an establishment like this.”

(Having heard more than I wish to, I decide to step in.)

Me: “Is something about me bothering you?”

Customer In Line: “YES! Look at your hair! You little rebel punks need to have some respect.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, miss. Should I get rid of it?”

Customer In Line: “It would be a start.”

Me: “Well, my chemotherapy treatment is on Wednesday, so odds are the next time you’ll see me it’ll be gone.”

(The customer goes pale and walks away without saying a word. The manager gives me a big hug and a $25 gift card!)

Related:
The Bald And The Beautiful

Incheon Further Away From The Answer, Part 4

| Cheyenne, WY, USA | Bigotry, Geography, Language & Words

(My family lives in a predominantly Caucasian town. We are half-Korean and half-Caucasian, but we were born in the US. While shopping with my sister, we are approached by an elderly lady and her younger friend.)

Elderly Customer: “Where are the cotton balls?”

Me: “I do not work for the store, but my sister and I can walk you to the display of cotton balls.”

Elderly Customer: “When did you come to the country? Your English is so good!”

(I answer with a smile, since I get asked this all the time.)

Me: “Well, actually, we were both born and raised here in this very town. Our father met our mother while he was stationed in Korea for the Air Force. We’re first-generation American on our mother’s side, but our father is from Kansas. Our family actually owns a ‘century farm’ there.”

(The elderly customer looks puzzled and her friend offers us an apology)

Customer’s Friend: “Sorry. I don’t know what is wrong with her today.”

My Sister: “It’s okay. Many people assume we aren’t American. We just correct them. It’s the nice thing to do.”

Elderly Customer: “You people are always so nice! Orientals are the nicest people, aren’t they? And you have such pretty skin and hair, too. Isn’t Chinese food the best? Those people are so nice at the restaurant, but you must know them since they’re Oriental, too!”

Customer’s Friend: *turning red* “They said they are American and they aren’t even Chinese!” *to us* “I am so sorry about all of this! Thank you for helping us find the cotton balls.”

(My sister and I smile at her and bid them both a nice day. As they walk away, the elderly customer turns back, smiles at us, and yells out with her hands open:)

Elderly Customer: “Welcome to America!”

Related:
Incheon Further Away From The Answer, Part 3
Incheon Further Away From The Answer, Part 2

Making A Moat Point

| England, UK | Extra Stupid, History, Tourists/Travel

(I am a tour guide at a medieval castle. The moat to this particular castle was filled by diverting a channel of the river that runs directly past. We’re standing beside a large model of how the entire area looked in 1754 AD.)

Tourist: “So, ma’am, how did they fill the moat?”

Me: “Well as you can see here, a channel was dug to divert the water into the man-made moat.”

Tourist: “So, how did they FILL the moat?”

Me: “Um… With water from the river, flowing into the ditch. The ground could get pretty waterlogged but that worked as extra defense in times of siege.”

Tourist: “Yes, but how did they get the water from the river INTO the moat?”

Me: “Er… They used a bucket chain?”

Tourist: “Ahh, I see. Thanks!”