The Most Confusing Meal Of The Day

| Ireland | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Hotels & Lodging

(I work in a call centre making reservations for a large hotel chain. A customer has just asked for a particular date in a particular hotel.)

Me: “I have the standard room for $99, or bed and breakfast for $109. The superior room for $129—”

Customer: “Wait! So the first two rooms are standard rooms?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “So why is the one more expensive?”

Me: “Well, room only is $99 and if you want breakfast included it is $109.”

Customer: “I don’t understand.”

Me: “If you want to eat breakfast in the morning it’s $10 more.”

Customer: “I still don’t see why I would pay more for the same room!”

Me: “You don’t pay more for the room, you pay the extra for the food. You can have just the room for $99 or the room and breakfast at the restaurant for $109.”

Customer: “I just don’t understand why I should pay more.”

Me: “I have no idea how else to explain this.”

(She never made a booking. We were ‘too confusing.’)

Books Are Going The Way Of The Dinosaur

| AK, USA | Books & Reading, Funny Names, Language & Words

Me: “Hi. What can I help you find today?”

Customer: “I want to find a book.”

Me: “What book are you looking for?”

Customer: “I’m looking for that book with a bunch of words in it that sounds like a dinosaur?”

Me: *stares for a moment* “…a thesaurus?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Common Knowledge Has Deserted You

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, History, Tourists/Travel

(We get a lot of people from different countries or other states who know nothing about Texas.)

Tourist: “So is the Alamo like out in the desert or something?”

Me: “Oh, have ya’ll not been downtown yet? It’s pretty much smack dab in the middle of the city.”

Tourist: “What do you mean?”

Me: “It’s not like in the movie. The city has grown around it,. It’s actually one of the more boring missions that’s pretty much completely covered by urban sprawl. I you want to see more traditional missions you should try San Jose or the other ones in the National Park areas.”

(They’re silent for awhile while I guess they’re having trouble with the term ‘missions.’)

Tourist: “Where’s your desert, anyway?”

Me: “Um… Like, 400 miles west of here?”

Tourist: “So, we’re not in Texas yet?”