This ‘Real Man’ Requires A Substitute

| BC, Canada | Bigotry, Top

(I’ve just started a new job after having a baby a few months back. I’m a single mother. I am processing my first refund-to-gift-card transaction. I’m having a little bit of trouble with it, so I ask if they would mind if I called my manager.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. This is my first time doing this. Would you mind if I phoned my manager to ask him how it’s done?”

Customer: “Go figure! That’s what happens when we start hiring women! They can’t do anything right, can they? You ought to be barefoot pregnant in the kitchen, not taking jobs from hardworking men.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir. I actually just started this job after having a baby.”

Customer: “So, you’re leaving a real man at home to look after your child while you take money for yourself?”

Me: *appalled* “If you’ll excuse me, sir, I’m just going to call my manager to ask him how the refund is done.”

Customer: “Go home to your b*****d baby! Leave the jobs to real men!”

(At this point, a tall metal head-looking man, with long hair, piercings, and ripped jeans approaches the counter behind the man. I recognize him as a teacher who’d substituted for some classes when I was in school. He speaks up.)

Substitute Teacher: “If all the jobs are for hardworking men, what the h*** are you doing here at two in the afternoon instead of working?”

(The customer turns white at the sight of him, gathers up his items and runs off without getting his refund. I thanked the substitute with my first ever gift card transaction, and he took me out to dinner. He, my baby and I have been a family ever since!)

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Indiscriminate Discrimi-nation, Part 2

| Auckland, New Zealand | Bigotry

Caller: “Can I speak with [banker name]?”

Me: “I’m so sorry, but she’s in a meeting right now. Is there something I can help with?”

Caller: “I’m having trouble hearing you. Can you speak up?”

(I move my headset closer.)

Me: “Is there anything I can help you with?”

Caller: “Your accent is appalling! I hate talking to you Asians!”

Me: *mild shock* “Ma’am, I’m a kiwi, born and bred.”

Caller: “Nonsense! Where were you born?”

Me: “At [giant public hospital in Auckland].”

Caller: “Oh, but your parents must be Asians! They’re everywhere!”

Me: “No, ma’am. My parents are Scottish stock, and have been here five generations.”

Caller: “D*** you Asians!” *click*

Related:
Indiscriminate Discrimi-nation

Acts Of God

| Australia | Money, Religion

(My job is to process insurance claims made for home and contents damages only. I make an out-bound call.)

Me: “Good afternoon, this is [me] from [company] calling. Is [customer] available, please?”

Customer: “Speaking.”

Me: “Oh, good afternoon. I’m just calling in regards to the recent insurance claim made for your ‘outhouse.’ Do you have a few minutes?”

Customer: “Certainly.”

Me: “Okay, fantastic. We have received the report from [builder] regarding the damages to your ‘outhouse.’ In this report they have identified that the ‘outhouse’ in question is in fact a caravan and not an ‘outhouse.’ In light of this I’m calling to advise that it isn’t covered by your home insurance.”

Customer: *clearly doesn’t understand this* “But I use it as an outhouse, it hasn’t moved in the last 34 years. I use it to help those in need for a shelter for an evening or two. I’m doing God’s work here. It’s an outhouse.”

Me: “Ma’am, I understand that, and whilst I respect the use that you put it to, it doesn’t change the fact that it is in fact, a caravan. We won’t be able to provide coverage in this instance.”

Customer: “But I’m doing God’s work! Do you hate God? Are you a heathen?!”

Me: “No, ma’am, I do not hate God. I am not religious and whilst I respect that you are, religion has nothing to do with insurance. For your caravan to be covered in future by [company] you will need to purchase caravan insurance for it, but I must advise you that if you purchase this now, all pre-existing damage will not be covered.”

Customer: “HEATHEN!” *click*

Children Are A Stressing

| Kansas, USA | Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

(At the day care where I work, I have one kid who screams for absolutely no reason. He also has been known to become violent in a short amount of time. In this particular instance, a parent has arrived to pick up her own child while the kid is livid.)

Parent: *walks in smiling* “How’s your day going?”

Me: *smiles back* “Not too bad! Yours?”

Parent: *glances at child* “I’m just glad it’s almost Friday.”

Me: “Yeah, me too.”

(Suddenly, the kid picks up a chair, and throws it against the wall while letting out a monstrous scream, scaring not only this parent, but two other parents, the rest of the children, and myself.)

Parent: *stares at the kid and looks back at me* “God bless you!”

Seeing Red

| NY, USA | Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

(Two customers approach the concession stand.)

Customer: “I’d like a small red slushie.”

Me: “All right, I’ll be right back with that!”

(I go around the corner and try to get him his drink. The machine is working poorly, and I can’t get anything to come out. I pull the lever as hard as I can, with no success.)

Me: *to my manager* “I think we have a problem.”

(As soon as I say it, the slushie explodes out of the machine, covering me from head to toe and spreading over about a third of the concession stand. I stand there dumbfounded for a moment, then grab a paper towel, wipe off the cup, and bring it back around to the customer, who is obviously trying not to laugh.)

Me: *to his friend* “And can I get you anything?”

Customer’s Friend: *grinning* “Yes. A small red slushie, please!”

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