That Kind Of Behavior Is Just Not Cricket, Part 2

| UK | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Military, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I am a customer. I witness an argument at one of the tills over a false label on an expensive cricket set. It appears as though the label has been attached by the customer. It is obviously written in green felt tip and not real.)

Customer: “Why won’t you give me the discount?”

Employee: “Because this is obviously a fake label.”

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF BEING A SCAM ARTIST! GET ME YOUR MANAGER!”

(The employee fetches a manager.)

Manager: “Sir, we are not going to sell you a set that costs £189.99 for only £15. This is obviously not a real label.”

(The customer takes a bat out of the pack and raises it in a threatening motion.)

Customer: “GIVE IT TO ME FOR FREE OR I’LL BREAK YOUR SKULLS!”

(Suddenly, out of nowhere, a random customer who is just walking past grabs the bat. He moves it round the unruly customer’s shoulder, flooring the bad customer and disarming him in one motion. The random customer goes right up to his face.)

Random Customer: “Buddy, you ain’t gonna get s*** unless you calm down and learn to be an honest man instead of a p***k. F*** off.”

(The unruly customer gets up and runs off, only to be grabbed by security and arrested a few minutes later. The good customer was given a £100 gift card and was even offered a job as a security guard! He declined, saying it was his duty to be a good citizen. I found out he was an ex-colonel in the British army and had been in tougher situations than that.)

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That Kind Of Behavior Is Just Not Cricket

Powerless To Help

| Wooster, OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(There is a horrible ice storm that knocks out the power to almost the entire city. I am passing a room when a customer in only a towel opens her door and catches me.)

Customer: “I don’t have power.”

Me: “I know, ma’am. The power is down.”

Customer: “When will it be up?”

Me: “I… don’t know? Whenever the power company can get it back up?”

(The customer huffs at me and goes back in her room. A few minutes later, I am coming out of the laundry room again. The same customer stops me, still in just her towel.)

Customer: “I need to dry my hair.”

Me: “I can get you more towels.”

Customer: *holds up her hair dryer* “I need this.”

Me: “As I told you, ma’am, there’s no power.”

Customer: “Well, can I take it up to the front desk?”

Me: “…ma’am?”

Customer: “They have plugs, don’t they?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but they have no power. The power is out all over the city.”

Customer: “Oh.”

(The customer closes the door, and opens it again immediately.)

Customer: “What about the bank?!”

Me: “The bank…?”

Customer: “The one across the street! They have power!”

(I go to the window and look out. The bank and the entire strip it’s part of are dark.)

Me: “They don’t have power, ma’am.”

Customer: “This is f****** ridiculous! I just need a f****** plug to plug my hair dryer in! Why can’t you just—”

(A hand falls on her shoulder from in the room and she’s pulled back inside. Her husband sticks his head out and mouths ‘sorry’ at me before shutting the door.)

The Screwdriver Is Complimentary

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

(I work at a hobby store that sells everything from arts and crafts for kids to models and remote control vehicles. A customer and her small son come in and shop around for a bit. They eventually bring up a vacuum for catching bugs.)

Me: “Alright. That will be [price]. This requires three AA batteries. Did you need those?”

Customer: “Yeah. We better get some.”

Me: “Okay. Your new total comes to [price].”

(They pay and leave. Not five minutes later they come back in.)

Customer: “I’m sorry, but do you have a screwdriver to open this with?”

(The customer meant one she could buy but we have one behind the counter for this type of situation. I go ahead and just open the battery cover for her on the bug catcher.)

Me: “There we are! You’re good to go.”

(I hand it back to the little boy. They begin to leave when the customer turns around and addresses her son.)

Customer: “Tell the nice lady ‘thank you.'”

Son: *with a look of concentration on his face* “You… are… sooo… beautiful.”

Me: “Why, thank you!”

(The mom is slightly embarrassed but thanks me again. They leave. I turn to my coworker, who watched the whole thing and is smiling)

Me: “I don’t know where he learned those manners from, but he’s gonna do well in life.”