The Answer To Their Own Question

| FL, USA | Right | January 20, 2014

(Today all my customers have been placing the exact same order, so I decide to have fun with the next one who comes in.)

Me: “Hello. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi! Can I have—”

Me: “A pound of [Brand] oven roasted turkey? Sliced thin?”

Customer: “Um, yes…”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Coming right up.”

(I slice the turkey for her and hand it to her.)

Me: “Would you like anything else today?”

Customer: “Can I also have—”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. One pound of [Brand] white American cheese, coming up.”

(Her eyes go wide but she doesn’t say anything. I look through the cold case but don’t find an open package of the cheese.)

Me: “Oh, looks like I need to open a new package. One moment, please.”

(I step out from behind the counter and open up the door on the front of the case to get a new package of cheese.)

Customer: “Wow! I didn’t know—”

Me: “That’s okay. Most people don’t know the doors open from the front.”

(Her eyes get even wider. I try not to snicker as I slice her cheese.)

Me: “Aaaaand there you go. Will that be all for you, ma’am?”

Customer: “What number am I—”

Me: “42.”

(She snatches the cheese and runs out the front door at full speed.)

Coworker: “How did you know what number she was thinking?”

Me: “Douglas Adams, dude. 42 is always the answer.”

Coworker: “You’re sick, man.”

Me: “I knew you’d say that.”

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Tipping The Scale

| AB, Canada | Right | January 20, 2014

(I am in a horrible mood because I have discovered during the previous night’s shift that someone had stolen my wallet from my purse in our back hallway while I was working. Along with all my ID and bank cards, I lost $140 in tips from the night before. I needed that money to pay bills. However, I try to put my best foot forward during the shift. I serve a young customer and his girlfriend. They are friendly, funny, complimentary about my service, and just make me smile.)

Me: *as I walk up with their check* “You know, I’m having a really bad weekend, so for putting a smile on my face today, I only charged you for the teen brunch instead of the full priced brunch.”

Customer #1: “Oh! Well, thank you! Why are you having a bad weekend?”

Me: “Well… my wallet was stolen while I was working last night.”

Customer #1: “I’m really sorry to hear that! Can I pay with credit card?”

(I put his bill price into the portable machine and hand it to him, and he begins to enter in the tip.)

Customer #2: *eyes widen, whispers* “Really?!”

Customer #1: *whispers* “She’s having a bad day.”

Customer #2: “Yeah. Fair enough.”

(They hand the machine back to me, and I print off the receipt. They tipped me $100 on a $48 tab.)

Me: “Are you sure?!”

Customer #1: “I hope you have a better day.”

(I began to cry, and each of them hugged me before they left. I smiled for the rest of the day. Faith in humanity: restored.)

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Introducing Not Always Friendly!

Not Always Friendly | Right | January 20, 2014

Not Always FriendlyHey Friends, check out our latest site: Not Always Friendly!

Not Always Friendly is the latest addition to our family of funny sites and features stories about friends, acquaintances, and strangers who are not always friendly – including friends behaving in funny/interesting ways, frenemies (friendly rivals or “friends” who aren’t really friends), bad-mannered strangers and more!

Visit Not Always Friendly today and share your story!

5 Stories of Stormy Customers

| Not Always Right | Right | January 19, 2014

Weekly Roundup: 5 Stories of Stormy Customers! With the story weather in the US, and the grip of winter firmly in place (for our readers in the northern hemisphere at least!), there is some comfort to know that customers are just as capable of whipping up a storm as mother nature!

  1. Your Complaints Are On Thin Ice (2,382 thumbs up)
  2. Predicting A Storm Of Protest (1,835 thumbs up)
  3. Takes One To Snow One (6,085 thumbs up)
  4. Magic Plows? Snow Problem! (2,690 thumbs up)
  5. There’s Snow Milk At The Back (2,124 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

One Customer And You’re Already Pooped

| Australia | Right | January 19, 2014

(I am waiting to pick up my cat at the vet when I witness an exchange between the receptionist and a customer.)

Receptionist: “She’s doing well. She’s passed some formed feces—”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Receptionist: “Uh… It just means it’s solid—”

Customer: “But what does that MEAN?”

Receptionist: “What? Formed feces?”

Customer: “Yeah, that second one.”

Receptionist: “Oh… um… It’s her bowel movements.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Receptionist: “Number Two?”

Customer: *blank stare*

Receptionist: “Her, um, her poo, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, that’s good.”

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