The First And True Language Of America

| Santa Fe, NM, USA | Bigotry, History, Language & Words, Top

(I’m waiting in line behind a woman speaking on her cellphone in another language. Ahead of her is a white man. After the woman hangs up, he speaks up.)

Man: “I didn’t want to say anything while you were on the phone, but you’re in America now. You need to speak English.”

Woman: “Excuse me?”

Man: *very slow* “If you want to speak Mexican, go back to Mexico. In America, we speak English.”

Woman: “Sir, I was speaking Navajo. If you want to speak English, go back to England.”

Weekly Roundup: Grow Up, Already, Part 2

Not Always Right | Roundups

Weekly Roundup: Grow Up, Already, Part 2! In this week’s roundup, we share five stories about grown-up customers who need to grow up! Click here for Part 1.

  1. Parenting The Parents (2,549 thumbs up)
  2. A Good Ol’ Fashioned A** Whoopin’, Part 2 (3,030 thumbs up)
  3. Sweet Midlife Crisis (1,550 thumbs up)
  4. Always Handle Grown Ups With Kid Gloves, Part 2 (1,249 thumbs up)
  5. Talentless Pool (2,894 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

She’s A Little Girl With A Round Tummy

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Movies & TV

(I am quite short, with short, bright red hair. I am in the middle of taking the table’s order.)

Customer: “Which red-headed celebrity do you remind me of?”

Me: “I’m not sure, sorry. Scarlett Johansson in The Avengers, maybe?”

Customer: “No, not her.”

Me: “Cal Wilson? She’s got short red hair as well.”

Customer: “No, that’s not it.”

(I suggest a couple of other possibilities, but she rejects them. Unable to work it out, I finish taking their order, then continue going about my business. About half an hour later, she flags me down.)

Customer: “I’ve worked out who it is!”

Me: “Oh, right, who is it?”

Customer: “Ponyo!”

Me: “…”