Having A Multiple Light-Bulb Moment

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Right | May 21, 2014

(I am the manager at a very busy convenience store that also sells fuel. One particularly quiet afternoon, a customer pulls up and starts to remove every single light bulb from his car. I watch for a little while then go outside to see if I can be of any help.)

Me: “G’day. A problem with your lights?”

Customer: “Yeah, they all stopped working so I need new ones. You sell bulbs don’t you?”

Me: “Yes, we do, but instead of removing them all may I make a suggestion?”

Customer: “You? I doubt it, love. Girls don’t know anything about cars.”

Me: *not the first time I have heard this* “No problem, I’ll be inside when you need the globes.”

(The customer removes every light globe, indicator globe and even all the internal globes, puts them in a bag and comes inside to the counter.)

Customer: “I’ll have one of each of these.”

Me: “No problem.”

(I proceed to get all of the globes he needed, including the not so cheap headlight globes. He pays for them, totaling approximately $45, and then goes back to his car and spends the next hour or so putting them in, with me watching from inside with a huge smile on my face. After he installs them all, he turns on the car, tries the lights, and none of them work. By this stage I have let it go far enough, so I grab a $0.45 blade fuse, go to his car, pop the bonnet, change the fuse, got him to try his lights, and wouldn’t you know it? They all now worked!)

Customer: “…”

Me: “Have a great day!*

(Then I skipped back inside!)

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Comic: A Heady Proposition

| Pennsylvnia, USA | Right | May 21, 2014

Sorry, Please Chai Again

| Olympia, WA, USA | Right | May 20, 2014

(I am working in a new coffee shop on campus that is very busy at certain times of the day. We start to notice a professor pulling a scam on us at our peak times. Every day she waits until we are really busy. She waits with her friend in line but does not order anything. Then, after ‘waiting’ a while, she demands to know where her drink is. Several students are pulling this scam as well. We put up a sign that says you have to present your receipt, and make sure we tell everyone that orders. All the scams stop, except one.)

Professor: *slamming her hand over and over on the pickup counter* “Where is my chai?! Where is my chai?!”

Coworker: “Do you have your receipt?”

Professor: *indignant* “No.”

Coworker: “Then you don’t have a chai.”

(She never tried to pull the scam on us again!)

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Oblivious To The Obvious, Part 2

| England, UK | Right | May 20, 2014

(I deal with customer queries on the phone, but we have no automated system that pops up with details. Calls just come straight through.)

Me: “Good afternoon, this is [Bank]. Can I take your name please?”

Customer: “It’s [Customer].”

Me: “Hello, Mr. [Customer], how can I help?”

Customer: “I want you to send me a list of my direct debits on this account.”

Me: “Sure. Can I take your account details please?”

Customer: “Isn’t it obvious?”

Me: ” … No?”

 

Not Central To Their Understanding

| CO, USA | Right | May 20, 2014

(I am from Central America but have lived in Colorado all my life. People usually ask what part of Mexico I’m from and I just have to give them a smile and let them know I am in fact not from Mexico but a small Central American country. I am helping a customer check out.)

Customer: “Wow you have no accent even though you’re Mexican!”

Me: “I’ve lived in Colorado all my life but I’m actually from a small Central American country.”

Customer: “Oh! Maria, my maid, is from Central America. Do you know Maria!?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, there are many Maria’s from Central America. Where is she from?”

Customer: “Maria! You must know Maria!! My maid! MARIA!”

Me: “Well, I’m from…”

Customer: “Nooo. Maria! Maria. Maria! From Central America! You KNOW her! Mmaarriiiaa!”

(This went on for a few minutes. Obviously we never figured out who she was talking about even though she kept saying the name Maria longer and louder.)

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