Reminder: The Holidays & The New Year Themed Story Giveaway

Not Always Right | Announcements, Theme Of The Month
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Enter Not Always Right’s first Themed Story Giveaway:
The Holidays & The New Year!

Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

  1. Submit a funny or interesting customer-related story about The Holidays & The New Year.
  2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
  3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

PS: Want story ideas? Check out our recent Weekly Roundup!

PS #2: Winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, January 2, 2013!

Karma Klubbing

| Dundee, Scotland, UK | Awesome Workers, Top

(I am waiting in the queue with a friend. We notice a group of girls pushing from the back of the queue past everyone, whilst loudly proclaiming that they are on the guest list. My friend and I decide to form a wall and stop them getting past us.)

Girl: “Move, we are on the guest list.”

Me: “Guest list closed at 11 pm.”

Girl: “But we have queue jump!”

Me: “No, you don’t.”

(I turn around and ignore them until we reach the bouncers at the front. By now the girls are loud and aggressive, my friend has been punched.)

Girl: *to bouncer* “These guys aren’t letting us past! We have guest list!”

Bouncer: “Calm down, you can’t just push in.”

Girl: “We didn’t start pushing; these d***s aren’t letting us past.”

Bouncer: “It’s a queue. Why would they?”

Girl: “Because we f***ing told them we have queue jump!”

Bouncer: “Aw! Why didn’t you tell us that? Come forward.” *cue big smiles from girls* “Now jump your a**es to the back of the queue.”

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For You, We’re Always Closed, Part 2

| Detroit, MI, USA | Bizarre, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(Our restaurant is, and always has been, closed on only two days a year: Thanksgiving and Christmas.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I’d like to make reservations for Thanksgiving.”

Me: “Unfortunately, we’re closed on Thanksgiving. Would you like a reservation for another day?”

Caller: “But your website says you’re open.”

Me: “Occasionally our website has tricky wording; perhaps it was another of our locations that’s decided to remain open for the holiday.”

Caller: “No, it says you’re open.”

Me: “I assure you, ma’am, we are closed on Thanksgiving.”

Caller: “It says you’re open. I’d like to make a reservation for Thanksgiving.”

Me: “Ma’am, we are only closed for Thanksgiving and Christmas, as it’s been for the past six years. I promise you, we are not open on Thanksgiving.”

Caller: “BUT IT SAYS YOU’RE OPEN. YOU’RE OPEN! I WANT A RESERVATION!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not sure what to tell you. We are closed on Thanksgiving. No one will be here to cook for you.”

Caller: “I JUST WANT A FREAKING RESERVATION!” *click*

Me: *to my manager* “Well… that was fun.”

Related:
For You, We’re Always Closed

Don’t Feed It Rock, Paper, Scissors Or Spock

| OR, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Time

(A customer comes in and explains that her daughter caught a lizard. People frequently come in for advice on their wild-caught animals, so I start explaining what proper care would be. Before this, she expressed general shock at several things, including having to provide heat and light for the lizard she wanted to shut in the dark of her garage.)

Me: “And so you’ll want to primarily give them crickets and mealworms, occasionally waxworms.”

Customer: “I see… And are green crickets okay too?”

Me: “Er, that sounds like a grasshopper. I’m sure it would be fine; I’m not entirely sure how they compare with crickets.”

Customer: “But if I catch them outside, I can use them?”

Me: “I wouldn’t recommend it, you’re taking a risk that they could have sprays and toxins on them. Ours are only 10 cents each. I think it—”

Customer: “So, how do I catch crickets?”

Me: *pause* “I’m not entirely sure. I don’t know anyone who catches their own crickets from the wild. It would be much easier to just buy them.”

Customer: “Well, how about if I just feed it dog food?”

Me: “No. I would definitely not recommend you feed dog food to a lizard. They really should be eating crickets, at least, and mealworms.”

Customer: “So, how long do they live without food?”

Me: “Um. I would guess no longer than a week or so.”

Customer: “So, when should I let it go if I can’t feed it?”

Me: “If you can’t feed it, I would let it go immediately.”

Customer: “But I want to try and catch crickets. How long should I wait? Like, when is the lizard’s expiration date?”

Me: “I wouldn’t go for more than a couple of days without feeding it.”

Customer: “But when should I let it go?”

Me: “A couple of days.”

Customer: “But what date is that?”

Me: “The 15th.”

Customer: “So, you’re telling me I can only wait a day, then I have to let it go?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Okay, thank you!”

Incheon Further Away From The Answer, Part 3

| New Bedford, MA, USA | Bigotry

(I work in a gas station in a predominately Hispanic and Portuguese neighborhood. I am half Korean and half European (mostly from Germanic countries), and I don’t speak a lick of Spanish or Portuguese.)

Hispanic Customer: *walks in and starts speaking to me in Spanish*

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Hispanic Customer: *looks annoyed and keeps speaking in Spanish*

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t speak—”

(At this point, the customer becomes irate and begins yelling at me, first in Spanish, and then in English.)

Hispanic Customer: “Stupid b****! Don’t tell me you don’t speak no Spanish when you’re f****** Puerto Rican, stupid c***. Who the—”

Me: “I’m not Spanish.”

Hispanic Customer: *suddenly becomes meek* “Oh. You’re not?”

Me: “Not even close.”

Hispanic Customer: *blushes and mumbles* “Sorry. Could I use your bathroom?”

Me: “It’s right down that hall, sir.”

(He bolts into the bathroom, does his business, and runs out of the store looking embarrassed. At this point, my boss walks out of the office.)

Boss: “You don’t even look f***ing Spanish!”

Related:
Incheon Further Away From The Answer, Part 2

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