Weekly Roundup: 5 Stories of The Customers That Want To Blame Obama The 44th President Of The United States has been blamed for a lot of things, but these customers should really start watching the news before they add to that list!
- Socially Acceptable (3,996 thumbs up)
- Health Care(less) (3,166 thumbs up)
- Pepperoni Extremism (5,490 thumbs up)
- Polarized Politics Predisposes People To Puerility (2,036 thumbs up)
- I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6 (2,377 thumbs up)
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PS #2: Read more roundups here!
(I’m cleaning the tables when I hear a customer yelling.)
Customer: “Excuse me! You just sprayed that poison on me!”
Me: “Poison? Oh, I’m sorry. You’ll be okay though. It’s just sanitizer. It’s no worse than the type you’d put on your hands.”
Customer: “You put that on all the tables?!”
Me: “Well, yes. It’s to keep germs from building.”
Customer: “What if a customer eats it?”
Me: “That could only happen if they licked the table.”
Customer: “It could happen. And stop knocking those crumbs to the floor! It’s making the floor dirty!”
Me: “How else can I get the table clean? I will sweep up once I’m done with the table.”
Customer: “Sweep the crumbs into your hand!”
Me: “I need a raise…”
(It is a Tuesday late night, which everyone dreads, because of the infamous ‘Cat Lady’. She is a very lovely, quiet, but friendly lady but has one of the least pleasant aromas that I have ever experienced.)
Manager: *to Cat Lady* “Ma’am, I am just about to close. Please, can you go down to [My Name]’s checkout.”
(Cat Lady nods and smiles, and goes down my checkout. She places her few items on the conveyer belt and I can already start to smell her as she comes up to me.)
Me: *under my breath* “Oh my god, [Manager]. I can’t believe you did that!”
Manager: “Just wait, okay?”
(Cat Lady is about to reach me. Just as she does, my manager grabs a pot of fresh basil that had been left earlier that day and thrusts it into my face.)
Manager: “[My Name], smell this basil! It’s such a nice smell!
Cat Lady: “Wow, it’s so nice that you all appreciate the produce here!”