Demanding Understanding

| MI, USA | Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

(I work the front counter of the repair center. The customer coming to get her car is notorious for trying every trick in the book to not pay for repairs. Because she’s such a problem, she always gets a VERY generous discount.)

Me: “Okay, Mrs. [Name], that will be $150 today for installation and the interior detail.”

Customer: “I was only supposed to pay for a part. I’m only giving you $50.”

Me: “Unfortunately, you have to pay for the installation of the part, the taxes, and also your detail. How would you like to pay?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “How would you like to pay? Cash, check, or charge?”

Customer: “What? What are you saying?!”

Me: “I’m saying you have to pay me.”

Customer:“WHAT? I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU’RE SAYING!”

Me: “Well—”

Customer: “WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”

(I scream right back at her.)

Me: “HOW ARE YOU PAYING YOUR $150!? I HAVE YOUR KEYS AND YOU WILL NOT BE GETTING THEM UNTIL I GET PAYMENT!”

Customer: “…Do you take Visa?”

Obama-Careless

| Houston, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Liars & Scammers, Money, Politics, Theme Of The Month

(We have a very strict policy: there are only discounts on things that are marked as such by a corporate mandate, and that’s it. I’m the only register open.)

Customer: “Hi there, I noticed this lamp has some markings on it; does it get some sort of damage discount?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; everything is priced as marked. It’s not something I or even the manager can change.”

Customer: “Really? That’s lousy, but okay.”

(The customer leaves, and comes back with a new lamp.)

Customer: “I’ve got a question for you. Is it alright if I use your employee discount?”

Me: “…I’m sorry, sir; I’m not allowed to use my discount while I’m on duty.”

Customer: “What if I told you I’m related to Barack Obama? Would you give me a discount then?”

Me: “No, you would still have to pay full price.”

Customer: “You’re telling me the President of these United States of America can’t even get a discount?!”

Me: “I’m afraid [store] views everyone as equals, so no.”

No Vocation For Location, Part 8

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Geography, Tourists/Travel

(We have a screen with special offers on the wall. Customer #1 is reading the board as offers flash by.)

Customer #1: “Wait, Paris is in Europe?”

Customer #2: “Really? Where did you think it was? Asia?”

Customer #1: “I never really paid much attention in Geometry class.”

(Customer #2 starts laughing as Customer #1 realizes what she just said.)

Customer #1: “Yeah… didn’t pay much attention at all.”

Related:
No Vocation For Location, Part 7
No Vocation For Location, Part 6
No Vocation For Location, Part 5
No Vocation For Location, Part 4