The Poster Child For Unreasonableness

| Mankato, MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

(A customer has a very, very old and tattered poster. Since she doesn’t want all of the poster framed, we talk about having it cut down in size. I always advise that customers research the value of their artwork before cutting.)

Customer: “It could be worth a lot of money.”

Me: “That’s true. We can save this order as an estimate until you can look it up and see what the value is before you cut it.”

Customer: “How do you do that?”

Me: “Since there isn’t a title, I would suggest you look it up on the internet by the band and the date on the poster.”

Customer: “Oh! I know!! I could order a copy and cut that to fit instead!”

Me: “Perhaps. It’s really very, very old but I suppose you might find possibly another copy online.”

Customer: “Okay! You go check and I’ll wait.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am?”

Customer: “Can’t you look it up? Don’t you have a list of posters or something?”

Me: “But you brought this poster in. It’s not one we sell in the store.”

Customer: “But isn’t there a list?”

Me: “There isn’t a comprehensive list of all posters ever made, no.”

Customer: “But how will you order it for me?”

Me: “Unfortunately, I can’t. We’re a frame shop and do not offer poster-ordering as a service. And to be honest, this is so old that it may take you a few weeks to track down another copy, if it even exists.”

Customer: “Well, that doesn’t help me, now! Does it?!”

Attempting To Mask Out Stupidity

| Australia | Crazy Requests, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(Our store does basic restoration services.)

Customer: “I have these photos of a masquerade ball.” *holds up photos with people with full masks on* “I need you to photoshop the masks off.”

Me: “Unfortunately, sir, it is impossible for me to remove a mask of the person.”

Customer: “But I need to know who they are!”

Me: “If you have a different photo of the peoples faces, I can photoshop their face on, but it is impossible to remove a mask on a still photograph.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. If CSI can do it why can’t you?”

This Conversation Goes Round And Round

| Whitehorse, YT, Canada | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

(A customer phones in and wants a quote on a very specific tire and size.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but [Brand] doesn’t make that winter tire in that size.”

Caller: “When will you be getting them in?”

Me: “They don’t make that tire in your size.”

Caller: “If you order them in for me during the sale, can I still get sale price?”

Me: “Sir, they DON’T make that tire in the size you need.”

Caller: “Do you think I could get a rain check for them then?”

Me: ‘Sir, we can’t issue you a rain check for a tire that they… don’t… make!”

Caller: *Click*