Count On This Customer To Be Considerate For A Change

, | Omaha, NE, USA | Math & Science, Money

(A woman in her thirties comes in with her young daughter, and they order two meals to go. The total is just over $18 and she hands me a twenty.)

Me: “Out of twenty?”

Customer: “Oh! Oh! I have the change. Is that okay? Do you want the change? Is it okay if I give you the change? Will it mess you up? Will you have to re-ring it?”

Me: “No, it’s fine. Thanks.”

Customer: “Are you sure? It won’t mess up the till?”

Me: “No. Actually, we have no way to enter in how much customers give us. We just have to use math to figure it out!”

Customer: “Really? Oh my gosh. There’s really no way to figure it out?”

Me: “Nothing but counting.” *I hand her the change* “There you go. That’ll be right out.”

Customer: *in awe* “Wow!”

Inconsiderate People Never Take Stock Of Other Customers

| London, UK | Awesome Customers, Technology

(We sell printer ink cartridges. As we don’t have the space to display them all, we place dummy cards which have the name and price on them. They all have a ‘subject to availability’ sticker on them).

Customer #1: “Just these two.” *places dummy cards*

Me: “I’m afraid we’re out of stock on one, sir. Would you like us to order you one?”

Customer #1: “No.”

(I proceed to scan the one.)

Me: “Your total is £15, please.”

Customer #1: “But what about the other one?”

Me: “As I said, we are unfortunately out of stock.”

Customer #1: “Now you listen here! I have, selflessly come in MY OWN time. I have come to YOUR store. Now GET me my INK!”

Me: “I don’t know what I can do for you, sir. We haven’t got it.”

Customer #1: “Well, I’m not moving until I have that ink!”

(He smiles and crosses his arms, keeping eye contact with me. By now, a line has formed behind him.)

Me: “I’m going to have to ask you to leave, sir.”

(The customer doesn’t speak and continues to stand there. Suddenly, another customer behind him grabs him by the scruff of his neck and turns him around.)

Customer #2: “May I suggest you selflessly go f*** yourself?!”

Customer #1: *goes red and quickly darts for the door*

Ferretting Out Falsehood Is A Full-Time Effort

| USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Top

(I work in a pet store. I have a pet ferret that I bring to work with me on occasion. I put him on a leash and harness and walk him around the store when we aren’t busy.)

Customer: “Godd***, that rat is huge!”

Me: “He’s not a rat; he’s a ferret. They aren’t—”

Customer: “F*** all that scientific bulls***! That’s a f***ing rat! That’s not your pet, is it?”

Me: “Yes, he is. But ferrets are not rodents. They’re mustelids.”

Customer: “A what?! Mustard lid?”

Me: “No, mustelid. They’re in the same family as otters, badgers, and weasels.”

Customer: “What’d you call it? A furret? My friend told me about those. They’ll f***ing bite your nose off!”

Me: “Well, one might, if it feels threatened, but I assure you they are actually very tame and affectionate animals. Would you like to hold him and see?”

(I pick my ferret up and cradle him in my arms like a baby. He immediately goes limp and nuzzles my shirt.)

Customer: *hesitantly reaches out to pet him* “Uh… well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try—”

(At that moment, my ferret opens his mouth wide for a particularly intense yawn, revealing his formidable canine teeth.)

Customer: “S***! That rat ain’t tame! He just tried to take my f***ing hand off! Crazy b****es and their godd*** face-eating rats!” *bolts out the door*

They’ll Always Be (Baby) Back For More

| Glendale Heights, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(A customer has just given me her order for a full-slab of ribs. She seems nice and even-tempered until this moment.)

Customer: “That’s to go, and I want to talk to your manager!”

(I call over the manager.)

Manager: “Yes, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Last time I came here, I ordered your ribs and they were absolutely DISGUSTING! There was barely ANY sauce and they were cold and gross!”

Manager: “Did you contact us? We could have given you customer credit.”

Customer: “NO! Why would I EVER want to come back?!” *pays for her ribs and storms off*

Pet Yourself In My Shoes

| Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Top

(A regular customer has come into our pet shop with her pet hamster in a carry box. Apparently, she is on his way to put her hamster to sleep as he is very ill. She has dropped in to buy him a last treat for the journey. As she makes her way to me to pay, another customer stops her to look in the box. This other customer is a woman in her thirties with a baby in a stroller.)

Customer: “Oh, you have a hamster. How cute! Can I pet it?”

Regular: “Um, I’m sorry, but he’s not well. I’d rather not take him out.”

Customer: “What’s wrong with him? Surely a wee pat isn’t going to hurt him?”

Regular: “He has a tumor in his tummy, and it’s started to cause him discomfort. We’re on our way to the vet.”

Customer: “Aww, the poor thing! Please let me show my friend. She’s in the shop and she loves hamsters!”

(Suddenly, the customer tries to take the carry box from my regular, alarming her. I quickly make my way over to them.)

Regular: “Excuse me, but this is my hamster! He’s old and sore, and I’m taking him to be put to sleep. The last thing he needs is for a stranger to manhandle him!”

Customer: “If you’re going to have him killed anyway, you should let my friend see him first! She loves hamsters!”

(At this heartless statement, my regular begins to cry. I decide to take a risk and teach the woman a lesson. I take hold of the customer’s stroller handles.)

Me: *to the customer* “My coworker just LOVES babies. Can I take yours away to see her?”

Customer: “Excuse me?! Leave that alone! What gives you the right?!”

Me: “But I want my co-worker to see your baby.”

Customer: “I don’t care! That’s my child, and you’ve no right to touch my buggy. I don’t even know you! Why don’t—”

(Suddenly, a wave of realisation hits the customer and she stops mid-sentence. She then swears at me, takes the stroller back and storms off, all the while refusing eye-contact with my regular, who is still crying. I had to get my manager to tell her what happened. Although I technically had to be written up, my manager was sympathetic and the poor regular got the treats for free.)

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