Just Bagging For Trouble

| London, England, UK | Bizarre, Wild & Unruly

(I work at the box office of a cinema. A middle-aged lady approaches.)

Customer: *politely* “One ticket for [film], please.”

Me: “No problem!”

(I print her ticket, but then realise I have accidentally printed the wrong performance time. She is holding out her hand expectantly.)

Me: “My apologies, but I have accidentally printed the wrong ticket. Just give me a moment and I’ll have this fixed for you.”

Customer: *with absolutely no warning and in a high pitched squeal* “HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME!”

(The customer then proceeds to whack me with her handbag and storm out of the lobby. My coworkers who witnessed it share the same bemused expression as I do. A few months pass and this same customer returns several times, all without incident. One evening she approaches my coworker.)

Customer: “A ticket for [film], please.”

Coworker: “Absolutely, I—”

(He looks ups and sees who it is, panics slightly, causing his hand to spasm and press the wrong button. The wrong ticket comes out. The rest of his coworkers and I are watching intently.)

Coworker: “I… I… I’m sorry but—”

Customer: *again with zero warning* “SABOTAGE! WHY DO YOU SABOTAGE ME!”

(This is followed by handbag attack and then swift exit. At this point we have it worked out that the customer is perfectly pleasant in the whole transaction, unless something goes slightly wrong, which for some reason she just can’t handle. A little more time goes by, and I am talking with three of my coworkers at the box office.)

Coworker: “So anyway, what are—”

(His voice trails off and his eyes go wide, I follow his line of sight and see her slowly approaching the box office. I turn back and see my coworker PHYSICALLY HIDING UNDER HIS DESK. I turn and see my two other coworkers have done the same.)

Me: “Seriously?”

Coworker: *whispering* “This is the arrangement we have now when dealing with… with HER.”

(The customer approaches me, as the only visible box office worker.)

Customer: “One ticket for [film], please.”

(I carefully ensure I listen to get every word, and press the correct button to print the correct ticket. I successfully do so and breathe a sigh of relief when the ticket is produced from the machine. This is short-lived when in a case of truly awful timing, the machine breaks down and rips the ticket in half as it is printed.)

Me: “Ah… s***.”

Customer: *screams* *handbag attack* *leaves*

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Themed Giveaway Roundup: Bad Behavior!

Not Always Right | Bad Behavior, Roundups, Theme Of The Month

Themed Giveaway Roundup: Bad Behavior! Although our January Themed Giveaway on Bad Behavior is still ongoing, here are some fantastic submissions we’ve already received. Thanks to everyone who has submitted a story–keep ’em coming!

  1. Earmark That Sound Advice (1,193 thumbs up)
  2. I Don’t Work Here Actually Worked Here (1,130 thumbs up)
  3. Makes You Scarlett With Anger (2,232 thumbs up)
  4. Playing Games With Your Feelings (1,447 thumbs up)
  5. At Lagerheads, Part 2 (1,114 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Acting Like Wario

| New York, NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Theme Of The Month

Customer: “Hi do you guys have any Mario games?”

Me: “Yes of course, what system would that be for?”

Customer: “…What?”

Me: “What game system would you like that Mario game for, sir? We have them for the Wii, DS, and 3DS at the moment. We also might have a few used Gamecube ones.”

Customer: “Look, my son just wants a d*** Mario game. Can’t you just give me one?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t. There are literally dozens of different Mario titles for a bunch of different systems.”

(The customer looks up at the consoles behind me.)

Customer: “I think he has that… uh… Playstation there.”

Me: “Well, in that case, I can’t sell you any Mario game because they don’t ma—”

Customer: “God d*** it! I just want to buy my son a f***ing Mario game! Why is that so d*** hard?!”

Me: “They don’t make them for Playstation.”

Customer: “Don’t you know that the customer is always right you little s***?! I drive all this way to buy my son a Mario game, and you don’t even know what you’re talking about!”

Me: “Unless we know what system he has, I can’t help you sir. It could be for the Wii, DS, 3DS, or the Gamecube.”

Customer: “Oh, so now you’re refusing me service?! I’d like to speak to your supervisor you little punk!”

(My manager has had enough at this point.)

Manager: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Customer: “I’m not going anywhere! I know my rights!”

Manager: “Okay then, I’m going to call security. I recommend you leave before they arrive.”

Customer: “I thought nerds were supposed to be smart!” *leaves*

The High Cost Of Racism

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Family & Kids

(A customer is with my coworker, and seems to be acting rude. I come over to see what is happening.)

Coworker: “Your total is $48.76.”

Customer: “No, it’s not! This is supposed to be on sale!” *shows an old coupon for different store*

Coworker: “We cannot accept that.”

Customer: “No, no no! It’s on sale! You’re incompetent! I knew you wouldn’t’ be any help! You n***** shouldn’t be taking jobs from good, Christian, white people!”

(At this point, my coworker is on the verge of tears. The customer then grabs random kid, who appears to be 10 or 11.)

Kid: “Let go!”

Customer: *to kid* “Don’t you think this lady is mean for taking white peoples’ jobs?”

Kid: “No, but I do think that you are a idiotic, rude, racist that needs to let go of me right now!”

(The stunned customer runs out of the store. We track down the kid’s parent, who ended up getting a $10 gift card which she spent on a toy for the kid!)

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Let There Be Unhappy Feet

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I am working at the penguin exhibit during the summer.)

Guest: “Hey, why are all the lights off?”

Me: “The penguins are from the Southern Hemisphere, so it’s winter for them. Therefore, we have the lights off for most of the day in order to simulate the dark Antarctic winter environment.”

Guest: “Well, I don’t think it’s healthy for them to be in the dark so long. You should release them back to the wild and into the light.”

Me: “Ma’am, like I said, it is dark in Antarctica right now too. If we released them there, they would still be in the dark.”

Guest: “Whatever… it’s just not healthy! They need to see the light!” *pauses* “You forgot to pay your electric bill, didn’t you?”

Me: “What? No! Of course we pay our electric bills. All the lights are on in the park! However, in order to keep our penguins happy, we have to keep it dark in the summer.”

Guest: “Don’t lie! I can’t believe you are keeping these fish in such drab conditions! Next time, pay your electric bill!”

Me: *speechless*

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