Never Put The Ball In The Customer’s Court

| St. Petersburg, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work retail for a sports store.)

Customer: “Do you have a New York Yankees football?”

Me: “A football? Do you mean a baseball?”

Customer: “No, I meant a football. Do you not have any?”

Me: “No, because the Yankees play baseball, not football.”

Customer: “Well you are missing out on a lot of market not selling that stuff.”

Grand Theft Promises

| Oxford, MS, USA | Family & Kids, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I am a customer at a video game store, when a mother and her child, who can’t be more than seven, walk in.)

Kid: “I want these games, Mom!” *hands her several sports games*

Mom: “Okay, well, we’re gonna get them used because they’re cheaper.”

Kid: “I also want this game!” *hands her ‘Grand Theft Auto IV’*

Mom: “Well, here’s a used copy, so I guess it’s okay.”

Me: *quietly, so the kid doesn’t hear* “Ma’am, I hate to interrupt, but Grand Theft Auto isn’t a game for children. In that game, you can buy a hooker, beat her up with a baseball bat, and steal her money.”

Mom: “You can do what now? What’s this game about?”

Me: “It’s about stealing cars and killing people. It’s not a game for children.”

Mom: *to kid* “Hey! You promise you ain’t gonna do none o’ that?”

Kid: “YEAH!”

Mom: “Well, okay then!”

Canada’s Net Worth

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Canada, Geography, Technology

(I work in a Canadian call centre that is contracted by an American cable internet company. Therefore all my customers are American.)

Client: *after the issue is resolved* “I can’t place your accent. Where am I calling? Are you in India?”

Me: “No, ma’am. I’m in Edmonton, Alberta. That’s in Canada.”

Client: “Canada? Really?”

Me: “Yes.”

Client: “Do they even have cable internet up there?”

Me: *pausing to swallow incredulity* “Yes, ma’am, we do. In fact, we actually have had cable internet for a bit longer than most US markets.”

Client: “Oh, well, I don’t know nothin’ about Canada. I thought it was a third-world country or something.”