Mother Mellows Best

| British Columbia, Canada | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Top

(My coworker and I are the only ones on duty at a gas station. We work at a full service gas station, and as it’s July, we’re very busy. I’m outside filling vehicles, while my coworker is inside ringing customers up. Note that I’m kind of timid, while my coworker is kind of hot headed, and we’re both female. A man in his late forties pulls up in his big pickup truck.)

Me: “Sir? Can I get you to pull ahead a bit and park a little closer to the pump? There are some customers who can’t reach the pump behind you, and you’re too close to the store. They can’t go around you.”

(The customer doesn’t even look at me and stalks off towards the store.)

Male Customer: “Fill it. Make d*** sure that you wash the windshield, too!”

(I begin to do my job. A line is forming behind the truck, and customers are asking me what’s the hold up. I have to explain to them about the customer, and I apologize profusely. Finally, the truck is filled, and I go in to tell my coworker the price.)

Me: “That’ll be [price].”

(The man has been standing in line for some time, refusing to let others in front of him while he waits for the price. The store is packed and hot, and the other customers look uncomfortable.)

Male Customer: “I’d like to pay with my [chain] points card, but I don’t know how many points are on it. Check it.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, but we have no way of telling you how many points are on your card. The best I can do for you is to run the card and if it comes up short, charge you that extra.”

Male Customer: “What?! I make sure I stop at every [chain] station that I can to collect these d*** points! I will not pay for the gas with my own money! Just run the card through one of your machines and tell me how many d*** points I have!”

Coworker: “Sir, like I told you before, we don’t have any machines that can check your points. If you want to use your card, you can, but if it comes up short I’ll have to charge you the extra.”

(This goes on for a little while, and my coworker begins to get irate, though she keeps her cool. More customers come in and I try and help others at the second till, but then the man starts yelling at me. I ignore him and try to swipe a customer’s credit card, but the man grabs the card reader from my hand and jams his points card in. The look of shock and hurt on my face must have been apparent, because another customer, a woman maybe a bit older than the man, steps in.)

Female Customer: *to the male customer* “WHAT THE F*** DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING? You’ve got a room full of people AND a bunch of cars outside waiting for you to get your a** out of the way and get out of here! You’ve been rude to these girls who have been nothing but polite to you, and now you’re starting to piss me off! And I’m sure I’m not the only one!”

(The other customers nod and murmur their agreement.)

Male Customer: “B****, I didn’t ask for your thoughts. Get back to your kitchen and your whining grandchildren!”

Female Customer: “Is that how you would speak to your mother? Really, didn’t your mother teach you better?”

(Suddenly, the troublesome customer doesn’t seem to be so angry. He actually looks a little bit scared at the mention of his mother. He begins stuttering and cussing her out, but the fire in him is gone. The lady fixes him the coldest stare I’ve ever seen, and then the customer flings two fifties at my coworker and begins elbowing his way through the sea of people and out of the store. The customers begin applauding and insist the heroine go to the front of the line. She’s only getting two Vitamin Waters and a bag of chips, and since the troublesome customer has given us much more than he needed, my coworker and I pay for her with the change.)

Obviously Infected With Selective Hearingitis

| Arizona, USA | Language & Words, Technology

(On an unusually busy day during the slow summer sales period, a customer comes into our department and begins talking to a coworker of mine.)

Customer: “Hey there! I’m looking for this anti-virus program that my friend told me about. I don’t remember the name, but I know it starts with a ‘k’. Oh, and it sounds Russian! I know I would remember it if I heard i or saw the box!”

Coworker: “Oh! You must mean Kaspersky! I know it quite well, because it is the only anti-virus that I have used for the last three years.”

Customer: “No! No, that is definitely not it! You must not know what you’re talking about. I’ll just go find it myself.”

(I happen to be standing right next to a section nearby that houses only Kaspersky products. The customer looked around a little, and then came up to me.)

Customer: “Hey there, I talked to one of your friends over there before, and she obviously didn’t know what she was talking about. Ha!”

(He then repeats the same thing he said to my coworker.)

Me: “Oh, do you mean Kaspersky?”

Customer: “Yes! That’s the one! That other girl obviously didn’t have a clue!”

Related:
A Nasty Case Of Selective Hearingitis

Around The Competition In 80 Minutes

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Money

Customer: “I’d like to overnight these documents to Israel.”

(I process the service.)

Me: “That will be $145.00, please.”

Customer: *jaw drops* “Why is it so much?!”

Me: “Because you want it on the other side of the world tomorrow.”

Customer: “No deal! I’m going to [competitor #1] or [competitor #2]!”

Me: “Okay, have a nice day!”

(Over an hour later, the customer returns, having found that our competitor charges even more for the service.)

Customer: *quietly* “Do you take Visa?”

At Least His Daughter Is On The Right Track

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

(I’m a 17-year-old girl. I work as a hostess to pay for my gas money at a local restaurant that specializes in seafood. A family of three walks in: a mom, dad, and their daughter. They’re all well-dressed and the daughter is texting away on an iPhone.)

Wife: “We have a reservation.”

Me: “Name?”

Wife: *gives their last name*

Me: “Ah, yes, here it is. Table for three. If you would please follow me…”

(I lead them to a table by the window.)

Wife: “Thank you.”

Husband: “Don’t thank her! This is unacceptable!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, is there a problem?”

Husband: “OF COURSE there’s a problem! I want to be seated outside!”

Me: “My apologies, sir, but all of the tables outside are taken. Your reservation has no specified preference, so according to restaurant policy, I took you to the first available table. Would you like to wait until a table on the patio is open?”

Husband: “No! I want to be seated right now!”

Wife: *to her husband* “Calm down, please.”

Husband: “Your service is horrible!”

Me: “I can get the manager for you, if you would like.”

Husband: “Do it, now!”

(The entire time, the daughter is still texting away. I fetch my manager and he sends me back to work. Two hours later, the family walks out. The daughter slips me something and leaves without a word. It’s a note and three folded twenty dollar bills.)

Daughter’s Note: “Sorry that my dad is such an a**. I hope this makes up for it, and congratulations on the track meet last Thursday. We stayed inside, just so you know!”

(Upon closer inspection, it turns out that she runs for one of our rival schools. I knew she looked familiar!)

The Camper Is Not Always Right

| Louisiana, USA | Family & Kids

(It is the last day of camp, and the campers are even more unruly than usual. They have spent the last 30 minutes putting foam stickers everywhere, and I do mean everywhere.)

Me: “Okay, guys and gals! Your parents will be here to pick you up soon, so let’s clean up a bit and get these stickers off the floor.”

Camper: *eye roll* “I don’t understand why we have to pick this up. This is camp!”

Me: “Well, the other counselors and I didn’t put stickers all over the floor. Do you expect us to pick this up?”

Camper: “Yes! This is camp! We’re not at home, we’re at camp! We shouldn’t have to clean up after ourselves! That’s YOUR job!”

Me: *jawdrop*

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