A Brokeback Fountain Of Hate

| Springfield, MO, USA | Bigotry

(We have a small section of movies for the LGBT community. These are clearly labelled, and none of them are too offensive. I am a straight woman in support of the LGBT community. A customer brings up one of the LGBT movies; it shows two women in wedding dresses kissing on the cover.)

Customer: “I demand you keep this trash behind the counter!”

Me: “Ma’am, there is a whole section dedicated to this ‘trash’ and honestly, I can’t keep just one case behind the counter. Our customers are going to need a way to see that we have it available.”

Customer: *waves DVD case in my face* “Who watches this trash anyway!? It’s sinful smut and I don’t want children seeing it!”

Me: “That is why it is up high on the shelves, in a little corner, behind a curtain that is clearly labelled for LGBT movies. Makes me wonder how you saw it ma’am, as you would have to walk to that corner and move the curtain. Honestly, I don’t even think we need the curtain. I think there should be more tolerance for gays and those of the LGBT community.”

Customer:You did this! You brought all of those movies from home, and put them in that section because you support f***! You should not be working where Christians shop!”

Me: “I’m straight, ma’am, but I do support the LGBT community. I can promise you I did not bring those movies from home. We are legally allowed to rent out those movies here. Now if you would please give me the DVD so that I can put it back where it belongs, I would be very happy.”

(She flings the DVD case at me. I duck in time for it not to hit me, but it crashes into the sign we have up to show what our new releases are.)

Customer: “GO TO H***!”

(She stomps out of the store. A few moments later, my manager calls. I tell her what just happened.)

Manager: “Oh dear, do you need some coffee?”

Me: “Only a lot.”

Zero Em-Bra-assment

| Denver, CO, USA | Rude & Risque

(I work in an adult-themed store that sells clothing. I am stocking nightwear on racks when a middle-aged customer appears.)

Customer: “Excuse me, can you find a [brand of bra] in this size? I looked everywhere and can’t find it.”

Me: “Alright…”

(I disappear into the aisles and return with a bra.)

Me: “Here you go.”

Customer: “Thank you so much!”

Me: “You’re welcome.”

(The customer wanders off to the changing rooms while I return to putting the clothes on the rack. The customer returns, wearing NOTHING except for the bra he just got for her.)

Customer: “How does it look? Will my boyfriend like it?”

Me: *shocked* “Uh… sure.”

Customer: “Thank you!”

(A coworker appears after the woman returns to the dressing rooms.)

Coworker: “Happened again?”

Me: “What is it about these stores that makes people forget their modesty?!”

Why The Long Face

| CA, USA | Family & Kids

(A customer approaches me at the cash desk.)

Customer: “You remind me of my daughter.”

Me: “Oh, thank you.”

Customer: “I call her Pony-Face!”

John Smith Calling On Line One

| Helsinki, Finland | Tourists/Travel

(I work at the frequent flyer service for an airline. A customer calls in to check his mileage balance but there are no flights registered.)

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but are no flights registered on your account. I’ll need to check what’s gone wrong and we’ll get the flights registered to your account.”

Customer: “I knew this! I knew this wouldn’t work. You want everyone to be you frequent flyers so you can spam us with your ads but you won’t give anything back! Not even what you promised!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir. I can assure you that’s not how we do business. If you’ll give me just a minute, I’ll figure out what has happened and we’ll get your flights registered.”

(I scan through our booking system for flights and manage to find three bookings that clearly are his. The bookings are lacking his frequent flyer number and that’s why they haven’t been registered.)

Me: “I think I found the reason why the flights haven’t been registered, sir. I found these three bookings but your frequent flyer number isn’t registered in the bookings. That’s why the flights weren’t registered. Did you give your frequent flyer number when booking the flights?”

Customer: “No, I didn’t.”

Me: “Well, then that’s the reason why the flights weren’t registered. You should always give your frequent flyer number when making a booking. But don’t worry, sir; I can register the flights right here, right now to your account.”

Customer: “Oh boy, you’re arrogant!”

Me: “Excuse me, sir?”

Customer: “I don’t need to give my frequent flyer number!”

Me: “Well, without the number we cannot register the mileage.”

Customer: “That’s bull-s***, of course you can! When I call you, you know I call you. When I make a booking, you know I make a booking. When I pay my flights, you know I pay my flights. When I check in, you know I check in. When I board the plane, you know I board the plane. You know people, you track us down, I don’t need to give you any d*** numbers to get anything registered!”

(As he’s ranting, I’ve searched our frequent flyer records with his first and last name.)

Me: “I’m very sorry that we haven’t been able to meet your expectations, but we sincerely do need the frequent flyer number to register your flights. We cannot use just passenger names for two reasons: firstly it’s against the privacy laws and secondly we have almost 30 frequent flyers that have exactly the same name as you do sir.”

Customer: “30?”

Me: “Yes sir, almost 30. And that’s just the ones that have registered as our frequent flyers, there’s even more who haven’t registered.”

(He agreed to use his frequent flyer number after that.)

An Offer Of Fruitcake

| Kent, England, UK | Bizarre

Customer: “Can I borrow a pen?”

Coworker: “Yeah, sure.”

(My coworker hands the customer a pen, and she goes back to her table. However, she returns a few minutes later.)

Customer: “YOU’VE PUT A BEWITCHMENT ON THIS PEN!”

(She throws it hard at my co worker. Turns out she hadn’t taken the lid off. Half an hour later, she approaches another coworker.)

Customer: “Why should I have to queue? I have already done so once!”

Coworker #2: “Because that’s what you have to do in civilised society.”

(The customer queues and buys a piece of cake, then walks into the stock area out back, with PRIVATE written on the door, to find my co worker.)

Customer: “I’m sorry for shouting. Please take this cake.”

Coworker #2: “Sorry, I can’t. We aren’t allowed to eat on duty.”

Customer: “SHUT UP AND EAT THE BLOODY CAKE! I WON’T LEAVE UNTIL YOU DO!”

(While this is going on someone calls the shopping center security. They come remove her from the entire shopping center. Later on that day, she comes back for one last salvo.)

Customer: “I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO ME?!”

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