Pint-Sized Theatrics

| Belgium | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

(I am the lead actress in a play called ‘Man of La Mancha’. During one performance, a small child has been rather vocal during the show, but he was expressing his enjoyment of it, so I didn’t much mind. Later in the show, there is a scene where my character is violently attacked by a group of men. While I’m not in any real danger during the fight, I am acting afraid and screaming for help, so the effect is quite harrowing and the audience is usually hushed. Except for this night.)

Me: *in character, having been thrown to the floor* “Help! Someone please help me!”

(A moment of silence.)

Little boy in audience: *to the men* “You stop that!”

(My fellow actors and I have a good laugh about it backstage for the rest of the show. Afterwards, we go out to greet the audience in costume, at which point the little boy and his parents approach me.)

Mother: “You were all wonderful! And I’m very sorry if my little boy disrupted your performance, but he was very worried about you, and we’ve always taught him to stand up to bullies.”

Me: “Not at all!” *to the little boy* “Thank you for telling those men to stop. You were very brave.”

Little boy: *beaming* “You’re welcome! Are you okay?”

Me: “I’m just fine. It’s all pretend anyway, lil’ guy. We were just pretending to fight, I promise.”

Little boy: *somewhat unsure* “Okay… but if they try to beat you up again, you tell my daddy and he’ll take them to jail.” *gives me a big hug*

Me: *stifling laughter* “Okay, I promise!”

(I heard from one of the other actors who plays the ringleader of the men that he then approached him and told him that hitting girls was very bad, and to never ever do it again. My co-star, playing along, promised not to and told the little boy he had learned a valuable lesson. Now after we play that scene, I always threaten the guys with my pint-sized bodyguard and his policeman father.)

1 Thumbs
3,581
VOTES

Hard-To-Please-Her Scrooge

| BC, Canada | Awesome Customers, Holidays, Money, Theme Of The Month

(It’s nearing Christmas time, and I am working at the till to cover a coworker’s break. I start to ring through a man’s groceries. Behind him is an old lady, whom I recognize as being a regular. She is always grumpy.)

Man: *quietly* “And I’d like to pay for her stuff, too.”

(I laugh.)

Man: “No, really.”

Me: “Oh! Okay.”

(This has never happened to me before. I look over at the lady’s packages and enter them manually, rather than scanning them, and tell the man his new total.)

Man: “Don’t tell her until after I’m gone.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I finish the transaction, hand him his receipt, and tell him to have a good day. Just as he is about to leave, he drops his wallet. All his cards spill out everywhere, and he has to stop and pick them all up. I put the old lady’s packages in bags and hand them to her.)

Me: “Here you go!”

Old Lady: “What do I owe you?”

Me: “It’s taken care of.”

Old Lady: “What?”

Me: “It’s paid for.”

Old Lady: *scowling* “Who did that?”

(The man is still trying to cram cards back into his wallet without dropping his groceries.)

Me: “Um… him.”

(The old lady starts scowling at him.)

Old Lady: “Why did you do that?”

Man: “Well, it’s Christmas. Merry Christmas.”

(He finally manages to tuck his wallet away and leaves.)

Old Lady: “I know I’ve seen that jerk around somewhere!”

Should Have Kept A Record Of The Record

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

(I am working in the music section of a department store.)

Customer: “I’m looking for a song, but I don’t know who it’s by.”

Me: “That’s okay. Do you remember how it goes or any of the lyrics?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Was it a male or female singer?”

Customer: “I don’t remember.”

Me: “What type of music was it? Fast, slow, rock, etc?”

Customer: “I’m not sure.”

Me: “Do you remember anything about the song?”

Customer: “I think it had an ‘A’ somewhere in it.”

The Price Was A Steal

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal

(I’m watching the register for a coworker on his break. A young man enters the store and sets a paper bag on the counter.)

Customer: “I need to do a return.” *empties contents of bag onto the counter*

(I pick up the two gas fittings: one has a tag, the other is completely stripped and destroyed. I look at the receipt and the one with the tag isn’t on it.)

Me: “Sir, this fitting isn’t on this receipt. Did you have another receipt for it?”

Customer: “No. I don’t have a receipt for it because I didn’t pay for it.”

Me: *stunned* “Wh-what? Did… did you just take it then?”

Customer: “Yeah, I was going to pay for it and I realized I didn’t have enough money to buy it, so I just took it home. But it didn’t fit, either. So my buddy came out and fixed the problem for me and I don’t need it anymore. Sorry.”

Me: “Oh, um, well… okay. I’m just going to keep this one, then.”

(I take the stolen fitting and place it in the return box, but then I look at the other fitting.)

Me: “You really did a number on this one, though.”

Customer: “Yeah, it was the wrong thread, I think. I tried to twist it on but I ended up stripping it.”

Me: “Well, I can’t return this it since you destroyed it. It’s yours for life now.”

(I hand him back his receipt and the broken fitting.)

Customer: “Well, I thought I’d try anyway. Thank you.” *leaves*

(The next customer in line is just as stunned as I am. He sets his things on the counter and watches the young man leave.)

Customer: “Did he just return something he stole and apologized for it because it was the wrong size?”

(I nod.)

Customer: “Man, makes you wonder what he would have done if he actually stole the right part!”

Christmas Jeer

| Seattle, WA, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(The store I work at is normally open 24/7, but we are closing on Christmas Eve and won’t reopen until the morning of December 26th. As we get ready to close, we are asking the last customers to make sure the door closes firmly behind them so that more people can’t get in.)

Me: “Thanks for coming in today; have a great holiday! If you don’t mind, could you please make sure the door shuts all the way when you leave? We’re actually closed now.”

Customer: “But you guys are open 24 hours right?”

Me: “Normally we are, but we’re closing for the holiday so our employees can spend it with their families.”

Customer: “Well, that’s just stupid!”

Page 1,653/3,127First...1,6511,6521,6531,6541,655...Last